Letters to Katniss

by letterstokatniss

During Peeta's treatment, he wrote letter to Katniss. Letters that Katniss ignored for months after Prim's death. Read to find out what was going on in Peeta's mind during his treatment.

Katniss,

I'm sitting with Dr. Aurelius during my session and he's forcing me to write down how I feel. Sending this to you is my choice, only the writing of is mandatory. Yesterday I went on the rooftop of the treatment center and I stayed for a few hours. I was about to leave when the color of the sunset grabbed at me begging me to stay. So I watched it go down and stayed until the sky was black. I stayed because there was something digging at me. When I first thought of why the color clung to me I was overwhelmed by this memory of the Quarter Quell where you had just brutally killed a morphling. In my head I saw you killing this morphling over and over again until a pair of strong hands held you back and pinned you down. I sat by the morphling and tried to talk about the orange color of the sunsets to lessen the pain of the stabs. You kept screaming the you wanted another stab at it and how it deserved the pain. I blocked the space between you and the morphling and I was disgusted by your savage tendencies. At first I hated you, thinking about it makes me hate you again. But Dr. Aurelius says I have to keep calm and focus. So as the memory went on in my head I noticed something. "Your" hair. It was in a ponytail with no braid. Just straight dark brown hair wound together with a hair band. And then I realized the voice. It didn't have that rough realness to it. I could tell the faint pitch towards the end of the sentence as if it was asking a question, like a Captiol accent. So I sat on the roof until all of a sudden I wasn't on the roof of the treatment center anymore. I was on a different roof. There was a dome and a garden and even though it was very windy, there was something in my arms keeping me warm. Then I remembered that day, before the Quarter Quell. I remember but it's barely there. I wanted to ask.. I know you won't respond but I would like to know exactly what happened. Both with the morphling and on the roof of the tribute building.

It's been over 3 months since the day.. And every day is a struggle. I don't know if I will sendf this to you or not. This is the first time Dr. Aurelius has felt that I'm strong enough to write to you and maybe he's right I've been able to keep the angry spells from escaping from my brain to the paper. Every night I still have nightmares of you. They tell me every day over and over that my brain has been hijacked, trying to drill it in my brain. But it doesn't help my nightmares. I hope one day I will be able to visit you just to talk. Maybe it will help the both of us heal. If there's one ting I could tell you is to not let Snow get to you. You all risked your lives to save Panem and you did. If you let your life go by, Snow wins and you know it. You survived against him for 17 years so do this for yourself.. And Prim. I'm sorry about Prim. Please call Dr. Aurelius back. Snow is dead, don't let him live on in your mind.

Best,

Peeta