Disclaimer – All I know about sign language I learned from Google, and rather than educate myself about it further I just kept writing this…so if anything I write about it isn't actually a thing…my bad.
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There are several things that surprise Brittany on her first day of junior year. The first is that Coach Sue makes her co-captain of the Cheerios with Becky Johnson. She knows it's not because she earned it or because Coach likes her, (because Brittany doesn't think that Coach likes anyone on this earth other than herself…plus, Coach once tried to shoot her out of a canon), and that it's because Quinn's parents got divorced over the summer and she's gone all sad and dyed her hair pink and gotten that silly tattoo of that dwarf guy and quit the squad. There wasn't really anyone else. The senior girls are rubbish in Brittany's opinion and Becky is better at remembering things than she is so the two of them were the only obvious choice really. Still, it's a surprise when Coach uses her bullhorn to yell the news out to her across the parking lot…especially because Quinn didn't tell her that she was going to quit. She'll have to ask Quinn about that at lunch.
The second surprise is a pleasant one and comes when Brittany's at her locker trying to figure out which books she'll need for her first classes and she sees Sam and Mercedes walking down the hall, his arm draped around her shoulders and goofy smiles on both their faces. She's happy for them and glad to see Sam smiling again after she kinda broke his heart last year. They'd hooked up at a party during winter break and he was cute and a good kisser and didn't treat her like crap so she decided to make it more than her usual one-time thing. But that didn't work out too well because Sam wanted to be her boyfriend instead of just a boy friend that she has sex with, so she'd had to break up with him, (even though they weren't officially dating), except she didn't know how to tell him and had never broken up with anyone before and she's not good with words so she slept with Matt and figured that Sam would hear about it and get the message. He did, and when he showed up at her house with tears in his eyes Brittany felt much worse than she ever thought she would. It just reinforced her belief that she shouldn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend for the foreseeable future. She's far too busy for that…plus, she doesn't like choosing something if it means she can't have something else. It's why she doesn't like watching cable – too many channels and she can't decide on just one.
The third surprise is that when she walks into her homeroom, (late as usual because she got caught talking to The Mack about their hip hop crew in the bathroom and then forgot where her class was), and takes her seat next to Mike, she's not actually the last student to arrive. Annoying Rachel Berry walks in five minutes later, which is shocking because Brittany doesn't know Rachel very well but from what she does know about how uptight she is she's pretty sure the girl is never late for anything ever. But Rachel isn't alone, another girl and Mr Figgins following in after her and standing at the front. The girl looks kind of shy and scared, hiding behind her hair a bit, and keeping her head down so Brittany can't really see her face properly. Mr Figgins calls everyone's attention to the front and announces that they have a new student this year and her name is Santana Lopez and she's Rachel Berry's cousin from Cleveland. Brittany is busy trying to figure out when the last time she and Quinn slushied Berry was when the new girl glances up timidly, brown eyes landing on Brittany and then it's like nothing else in the room exists because Santana Lopez is the most beautiful girl Brittany has ever seen. And not just in person, (even though she has totally hooked up with quite a few super hot girls), but like, including on TV or in magazines and anywhere else in the entire world. The girl seems totally skittish and looks away after a couple of seconds but Brittany keeps staring, mesmerised and trying to figure out the source of the nagging feeling that those beautiful but sad eyes look kinda familiar, and then the bell is going and Mike is whispering something about how cool it is that they might learn some sign language, which confuses Brittany and makes her think she got the wrong books from her locker after all because she has her history and biology books and she's pretty sure they won't have sign language in them. She shrugs and follows Mike out the door, her gaze lingering on Santana trying to catch her eyes again, but the girl keeps her head down and leaves Brittany desperate to know more about her.
-x-
It's not until the next day that Brittany finally has a chance to meet the beautiful new girl. She's been so busy with new classes and getting bossed around by Coach Sue and getting back into things at the Muckraker that she's barely had time to speak to her own friends, let alone anyone new, and Brittany loves talking to people and making new friends. Especially ones that look like Santana Lopez.
She's standing in a crowded hall packing her bag ready to leave for dance class when she looks over and notices Santana at her locker not too far away. She's on her own, which is perfect because the few other times Brittany has seen her she's been flanked by Berry and other Glee club losers, so Brittany begins to walk over, surprised to find herself actually feeling a little nervous flutter in her stomach. She's talked to heaps of pretty girls before so she's not sure why…there's just something about this one.
She comes to a stop a foot away, clearing her throat loudly in an attempt to get Santana to turn around. She doesn't, and Brittany thinks that maybe Santana didn't hear her over the noise of everyone else in the hall, so she tries it again, a little louder this time. Still nothing. She says a slightly timid "hey" and then another louder one and still no response and then another even louder one that goes unacknowledged. She calls out the girl's name and still nothing. Now Brittany's starting to get annoyed because other people in the hall have noticed and are totally laughing at her and how she's being ignored. Not cool. She's about to give up entirely and walk away when the Hobbit marches over and scowls at her, telling her to leave Santana alone and stop bring cruel and Brittany has no idea what she's talking about or what she's done, but then Santana turns around and takes in the scene behind her, her eyes widening when she sees Brittany standing close to her and then some of the other kids in the hall smirking and giggling. Brittany's not sure what's going on or why Santana looks so hurt and mad at the same time but then Rachel is moving her hands really fast and putting her arm around Santana and Brittany is turning to watch them walk down the hall, not even aware that Puck is standing next to her until he's telling her that even for him that was kind of mean, you know, making fun of a deaf girl like that.
Deaf.
Brittany's body goes rigid and her eyes grow wide as she thinks back over the last couple days and how stupid she'd been not to realise. She just wasn't paying attention. Then she remembers the look on Santana's face when she thought that Brittany had been making fun of her and the kids in the hall laughing at her.
She doesn't think she's ever felt worse in her life.
-x-
She feels horrible for a full week, her dancing and cheering and motocross are all totally out of whack and she cancels her back to school episode of Fondue for Two because she can't concentrate. Someone leaves an angry comment about the cancellation on her YouTube channel and it makes her feel even worse. All Brittany can think about is how she can make it up to Santana. She tried apologising and explaining to Rachel but the hobbit would barely let her get a word out before she'd start talking about her two dads and minorities and the ACLU and how Brittany would be a pariah.
She can't even get near Santana to apologise personally because Rachel is always with her, and half of the time the other Gleeks are too, making sure they send Brittany dirty looks whenever they see her. She catches Santana's eyes a couple of times but the other girl always looks away quickly. Quinn is no help when Brittany tries to talk to her about it because she's still being weird and moping about her parents and hooking up with that new girl Joe with the dreadlocks.
So Brittany watches her – not like in a creepy stalker way, but more like in a desperate to know more about her way…which on second thought might be the same thing. She watches her in homeroom and the two classes they share and at lunch and any other time she can and she notices everything she can and after two weeks she knows a few things.
Like the fact that Santana can read lips super duper well.
(She didn't so much observe that, as overhear Mr Martinez talking to Miss Pillsbury about it in the hall.)
(It's also kind of cheating, but she finds out from Sugar who heard it from Mercedes that Santana's family moved to Lima because her Dad got a new job just outside of Dayton - the commute isn't too long and they have family here. Mercedes always knows all the gossip.)
She notices that Santana likes the colour red because she wears it a lot and paints her nails with it and Brittany thinks she's never seen anyone wear the colour better in her life.
She notices that Santana likes to read Thomas Hardy, she's seen her reading it at lunch, and Brittany finds it kind of awesome even though she prefers George Eliot. Most people think she can't read at all so they never ask her about books and she's excited at the prospect of having something in common with Santana.
But the most striking thing that Brittany observes is that Santana seems kind of sad and lonely. Rachel is the only person Brittany ever sees signing with her and half the time Santana seems kind of annoyed at her, (which Brittany totally understands because most of the time she finds Berry annoying too). There are people with Santana all the time but they always seem to be talking around her not to her, and she is always reserved, keeping to herself and barely even engaging with eye contact. Brittany doesn't think she can even imagine what it would be like, to live in a silent world. Her world is loud and chaotic and she doesn't know what she'd do if she couldn't dance or hear Coach barking orders at her in the gym or Lord Tubbington scratching at her bedroom door when it's time for his weekly gym session. It's not fair, and just like in third grade when she found out that the cats left at the pound too long are put to sleep and she organised an adoption drive, Brittany decides to do something.
-x-
It takes her about thirty seconds to decide that she's going to learn sign language, because she knows that despite what people think, she's actually kind of smart and obsessive and once she decides to do something she doesn't stop until she does it. Like when she trained Tubbs to do her household chores for her in exchange for more cigars.
She finds the number for the Deaf Services Centre in Worthington and someone there gives her the names of some books she can get and some websites she can look at. She orders the books online and they come the next day and she's so excited to get them that she bounds up the stairs to her room and rips open the packaging, flipping through the pages with wide eyes. She spends two weeks reading the books and training her hands, learning the basics, and watching clips on YouTube to see how well she can understand when someone else is signing. Night after night she stays up way past her bedtime, more than a few times she falls asleep at lunch, and her hands get so sore that they start cramping during cheer practice and Coach Sue yells at her.
But it's totally worth it because now she feels like she knows enough to try and talk to Santana. To apologise and ask to be her friend, and she knows enough to at least understand if Santana tells her to fuck off…although she's pretty sure she'd pick that up even if she hadn't studied for weeks.
So she practices what she wants to say in the mirror a few million times until she's certain that even if her brain short circuits her muscles will still remember what to do. Then she needs to get Santana alone, which is actually super difficult and it takes another two days, but like the stalker Brittany's become she follows her into the library during lunch.
She finds Santana sitting alone at one of the tables and takes a deep breath before walking over and taking the seat opposite. Santana has her head down but she must sense the motion or feel the table shift slightly because quickly she's looking up, curious eyes narrowing once they spot Brittany.
Brittany freezes for a second because holy potato, Santana Lopez is definitely the prettiest girl she's ever seen, even with the way she seems to be curling into herself in front of Brittany like she's trying to hide herself. She's noticed Santana doing this before, hiding from other people, and it kind of makes Brittany's heart hurt because something this beautiful shouldn't ever want to hide. And she hates the thought of Santana not liking her because of what happened in the hall and wanting to hide from her.
I'm really sorry. It was an accident. I didn't mean to make fun of you.
She moves her hands slower than she did when she was practicing because she wants to get this right, and she knows that her tongue is totally sticking out the side of her mouth like it does sometimes when she's concentrating super hard, but she thinks she's got it right.
Santana's eyes widen slightly in surprise but other than that her expression gives little away. Brittany shifts a little in her seat because she's not sure how Santana's going to react. After another uncomfortable moment with Santana still eyeing her warily, Brittany tries again.
I hope we can be friends?
Santana's eyes widen again at that and she studies Brittany carefully, before lifting her hands.
You can sign?
Brittany smiles, feeling encouraged even though Santana is still being cagey, and shakes her head. I'm learning.
Why?
So I can talk to you.
She watches as Santana's eyes dart down to the desk and her cheeks flush a little and it's all kinds of adorable.
After a few seconds Santana lifts her gaze back to Brittany.
Why do you want to talk to me?
I want to be your friend. You look lonely.
Brittany knows it's not the most tactful way to put it, even for her, but she hasn't gotten the nuances of signing down yet so it'll have to do. Santana looks a little embarrassed though, and Brittany doesn't know how to say what she wants to next so she points to her mouth.
"I only see you signing with Rachel and I know she's your cousin but she can be super annoying."
Santana's lips curl up, not a full smile, but she seems amused so Brittany will take it.
A bit, Santana agrees.
Brittany smiles. This is going as well as she could have hoped.
Friends?, she asks again.
Ok.
Santana bites her lip and it makes something in Brittany's belly flutter, but she has to ignore it because she's only just managed to get Santana talking to her, she doesn't want to freak her out. Plus, she doesn't even know if Santana likes girls.
(Although her gaydar is pretty good and it's telling her she's in with a chance.)
"Awesome."
-x-
She never thought that being friends with Santana would cause so much hoopla, but people seem to be really suspicious about it all, which strikes Brittany as a little strange because it's not like she's on the sex offenders registry or something.
Rachel was the first person to react to their new friendship, after seeing the two of them signing in the hall. She'd marched up and asked Brittany what she was doing, then turned around without even waiting for an answer and started signing with Santana, much too fast and in depth for Brittany to follow. She did catch Santana telling her cousin that they were friends now, and after a few more seconds of Brittany watching and not understanding anything, Rachel turned back to her and told her that if she hurt Santana in any way she would live to regret it. Brittany wanted to tell Rachel that she had no intention of hurting Santana and that of course she would regret it if she did, but she didn't want to be too intense about it, so instead she just nodded. She also figured that she better stop helping Quinn give Berry slushie facials. She might be annoying, but she is Santana's cousin after all.
Which is exactly what Brittany told Quinn when they went out for burgers after school later in the week, the news met with an eye roll.
"Are you fucking serious Britt?"
Brittany choked on her burger a bit, still not used to this punked out Quinn with the trucker mouth. Old Quinn never used to swear, and even though she has the pink short hair and nose ring and ripped up clothes, Brittany still sees her old friend with the long blonde hair and pretty summer dresses when she looks at her.
"The Hobbit stole my boyfriend and you want me to be nice to her?"
Rachel didn't really steal Quinn's boyfriend. Quinn dumped Finn last year because he was a terrible boyfriend and then three weeks later he asked Berry out, but Brittany doesn't think this is the time to mention that.
"I just don't want to have Santana's cousin hate me," she explained once she'd swallowed her mouthful.
Quinn studied her with narrowed eyes. "What's with you and Santana anyway? Why do you want to be her friend so badly?"
Brittany frowned. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? First Rachel, then Tina and Mercedes…even Becky. Why can't I want to be her friend? I have lots of friends."
"Friends you learn sign language for?"
Brittany felt her cheeks and ears flush with heat, signs her best friend knew all too well, telling Quinn everything she needed to know.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes again. "Oh God."
-x-
But besides all that, Brittany thinks that being friends with Santana is awesome. Like, more awesome than being on her bike or dancing or cuddling with Tubbs. It's been three weeks now and honestly, Brittany had no idea she'd like spending time with Santana as much as she does, but she's totally her favourite person to be around.
They watch DVDs with the subtitles on, (which Brittany finds kind of distracting but she's not going to complain because when they sit on the couch Santana's thigh totally touches hers, and sometimes Santana is tired and leans her head on Brittany's shoulder and it's awesome and there's no way Brittany's going to risk that not happening again), and they play Brittany's brother's PS3 and do their homework together and sometimes on warm afternoons they go to the park and sit under the trees and read.
And that stuff is fun, the most fun Brittany has ever had with anyone ever, (including Tubbs), but what she likes best is just talking to Santana. They talk about everything and nothing and Brittany's kind of surprised how easy it is. The actual communicating isn't always so fluent, (she's still learning sign language and sometimes they have to revert to pen and paper to write what they want to say), but they stumble through it with little awkwardness and a sense of humour.
(Brittany's signing has gotten pretty good and she still signs even if Santana is reading her lips because she wants to be perfect at it.)
No, the easy part is the way that Santana just seems to get Brittany. All her life Brittany has felt a little odd and different to everyone else, that feeling being confirmed by teachers and other kids as she got older. For a long time she struggled in school and everyone just thought it was because she was stupid. It wasn't until 8th grade that her new teacher realised that she might be dyslexic, a discovery that made things a lot easier for Brittany once her parents got her some extra help. Since then she'd worked hard to catch up on her schoolwork and then some, having one of the best GPAs in the school. Not that it matters to her peers, most of whom still think of her as being a bit stupid and strange, (even Quinn still thinks that sometimes). But Brittany never has to explain herself to Santana, and the best thing is that Santana gets her super dry sense of humour. Brittany thinks Santana's laugh is the best sound in the world, loud and full and beautiful, even though she can tell the other girl is a bit shy about it.
(To be honest, Brittany was a bit shocked the first time she heard a sound coming from her usually silent friend, but shock soon gave way to delight because a laughing and smiling Santana was amazing and made Brittany's heart thump like crazy. She really wanted to kiss Santana then.)
-x-
They've been friends for seven weeks and three days and Brittany already knows she's head over heels in love with Santana. It took her a while to realise what the feeling was because she's never felt anything like it before, but then she caught herself staring at Santana during class, imagining what their babies would look like, and knew she was in trouble. Santana hasn't really given her anything to encourage her feelings though. There have been a few occasions where Brittany has caught the girl's eyes lingering on her a little too long, but that hardly means Santana feels the same way. It's getting to the point though where Brittany feels like she can't hold her feelings in any longer. She really wants to kiss Santana. Like…all the time.
-x-
It's been over three months and by now Brittany feels like she knows a lot about Santana, at least most of the major stuff, so when they're hanging out at her house one Saturday afternoon and Santana mentions that she hasn't always been deaf Brittany is more than a little surprised.
"What?" she blurts out as she automatically signs, the actions so familiar to her now.
Santana seems to find Brittany's shock amusing. I got sick when I was eight.
Brittany frowns, not liking the idea of Santana being sick. What happened?
Santana grabs the pen and notebook out of her bag, writing quickly before turning it around for Brittany to see.
I got an autoimmune disease when I was eight and within two days I was completely deaf. Nerve damage. Can't be fixed.
Brittany feels her heart tug and looks up at Santana, who just shrugs with a sad smile.
Until then I was normal.
Brittany feels something twist in her gut as she reads Santana's hands and all she wants to do is make her friend happy again and let her know that normal is bullshit and she isn't normal either and they can be not normal together and it will be the best thing ever because Santana is the best thing ever.
She reaches over and grabs Santana's hand. It's warm against her own and so so soft, and for a second she totally forgets what she was going to say because she's holding Santana Lopez's hand and it's amazing.
She makes sure Santana is watching her before she speaks.
"I think you're perfect."
It's not what she had planned to say but it's what came out, what needed to be said.
Brittany watches as Santana's cheeks colour and brown eyes dart to the table top. She means it. Santana is the most perfect and amazing thing she's ever known and she wants her to know it.
Feeling bold, she reaches out with her free hand, cupping Santana's cheek and tilting her head up gently.
"I mean it Santana. I think you're perfect and I wouldn't want you to be any different. You're my favourite just the way you are."
Brittany feels like her heart is about to explode as she watches Santana's breath hitch, the other girl's gaze flicking between blue eyes and pink lips. Santana isn't pulling away and Brittany really really wants to kiss her, more than she's ever wanted anything in her whole life, and she feels herself leaning forward slowly, giving Santana time to pull away if she wants to.
But she doesn't and Brittany closes her eyes as their lips meet in the most perfect kiss. Santana's lips are so soft and warm and just as amazing as Brittany thought they would be. Their lips slide together and Brittany feels her heart swell so big in her chest that she thinks it can't possibly be contained. She doesn't think there's ever been a more perfect kiss in the history of the world.
But then she feels Santana's hand slip out from under hers and she pulls back, dropping her other hand from Santana's cheek, scared that she's done something wrong.
"Sorry," she whispers in an exhale, struggling to steady her breathing.
(Except she's not really sorry because finally kissing Santana was the best thing she's ever done.)
Santana looks like she's trying to compose herself too, a confused expression on her face. She looks shy and small like she does around people who aren't Brittany and it hurts a little, seeing that Santana has withdrawn from her like that.
Why did you do that?
I've wanted to for a long time.
The confession obviously surprises Santana, brown eyes widening quickly before they narrow again.
Rachel says you kiss a lot of people.
Brittany wasn't expecting that, (but she thinks it's probably the nicest way she's ever been called a slut), trust Berry to interfere.
I used to. Now I only want to kiss you.
She figures she may as well lay it all out there since she's halfway there. Plus, she's never been much good at lying about what she's feeling.
Santana smiles at that, just a small one, but it's there and Brittany feels hope balloon in her chest again.
Rachel said you cheated on Sam.
Brittany winces, because yes, she totally cheated on Sam and it was a super shitty thing to do, but anything she feels for Santana is light years away from what she felt for Sam. It doesn't even compare. She would never hurt Santana like that.
(And right about now Brittany wants to punch Rachel in the throat.)
I did do that and it was bad. Sam and me…I didn't...
Brittany sighs, frustrated that she can't say what she wants with just her hands. Santana's eye shift to her mouth and she tries again.
"I never really liked Sam and I shouldn't have dated him and I shouldn't have cheated on him. I'd never do that to you Santana."
Why?
Brittany sighs again, nerves swirling in her belly because this is it, this is when she can tell Santana the truth, tell her that she loves her and wants to be with her and have lady babies and make her feel special and happy forever.
But no, it's not that time because right that second Brittany's mum walks in, struggling with the shopping bags and asking for Brittany's help. Brittany scrunches her face and really wants to swear about her mum's atrocious timing, (but she would never do that in front of her mum). Santana pulls even further away and sits back in her chair, signing hello to Brittany's mum.
(Brittany taught her mum and her dad and brother a few basic signs because Santana is over so much and she doesn't want her to feel left out or uncomfortable.)
(Her little brother totally has a crush on Santana and tries to impress her with how much sign language he's learned and Brittany thinks it's totally lame…until she remembers that that's exactly what she used to do.)
One minute, she signs to Santana, practically running out to the car to bring in the rest of the shopping. She dumps the bags on the kitchen bench, then jogs back into the lounge, taking Santana by the hand and pulling her up, tugging her along as she clambers up the stairs, throwing a quick, "we'll be in my room" to her mum as they go.
Once inside her room Brittany closes the door behind them, turning to find Santana taking a seat on the end of her bed looking nervous and small again. She takes a deep breath before walking over and sitting beside her, hoping that what she's about to say comes out right.
(She has a habit of stuffing things up when it comes to this talking about feelings stuff, and she really doesn't want to stuff this up.)
She reaches over and takes Santana's hand again, holding it between both of hers, waiting for the other girl to meet her eye. Brown eyes flick up to hers soon enough and Brittany feels her heart beating double time in her chest.
"I want you to be my girlfriend…if you want to be."
She feels like she's holding her breath waiting for an answer, disappointment harpooning through her when Santana takes her hand back. That is until Brittany realises she needs it to sign.
Why me? You could date anyone.
That tugs at Brittany's heart because Santana should know how special she is and how much she means to her. She must not be doing a good enough job at showing her. The least she can do is tell her.
She takes Santana's hand back, this time pulling it up to rest on her chest, right above her heart. It's the most intimate they've ever been and Brittany can feel it, feel how alive every cell of her body is right now. Santana can surely feel it too, her heart beating like crazy, and Brittany wants her to know that that's how she makes her feel.
Santana seems a little shocked at how forward Brittany is being but it's been months and she needs to get this out.
"Santana you make me feel so happy and alive and electric, like my insides are trying to burst out of me because they've gotten too big to stay inside. But you make me feel at peace too, like this is exactly where I'm supposed to be in the world. With you."
Santana's eyes lift back up from watching her lips and Brittany can see how glazed with tears they are, (she really really hopes that they're good tears), and only has one more thing to say.
I love you.
It's the sign she knows better than any other despite never having used it. She's been practicing it for months, just waiting for the right time to use it, and now that she has she's wondering why it took her so long.
A tear rolls down Santana's cheek and Brittany reaches her hand out, gently brushing it away with her thumb. When she pulls her hand back Santana grabs it with the hand that was on her chest, lacing their fingers together and tugging Brittany closer. Brittany doesn't need to be told twice and follows the motion forward, her other hand coming up to cup Santana's jaw as their lips finally press together again.
Their lips slide against each other and it's soft and languid and everything it should be, until Santana pulls back again, just far enough for Brittany to be able to see her sign I love you back to her, and then they're kissing again, firmer and more desperately than before, Brittany's heart soaring higher and swelling bigger than she thought it could.
Santana Lopez loves her back.
(This is definitely the best day of Brittany's life.)
-x-
An hour later their lips are swollen as they lie together cuddled on the bed, Santana tucked into Brittany's side, one of Brittany's arms wrapped around her back. She has Santana's hands in her own, playing with her fingers and caressing the soft skin. Santana has such mesmerising hands, her light caramel skin so soft and pretty. Brittany likes the way it contrasts her pale skin. She knots their fingers together and she thinks they look perfect. They are perfect, just like this.
Santana turns back from watching their hands and kisses her neck, then her jaw, then up to her lips and then Brittany forgets all about their hands because she's kissing Santana.
-x-
Two hours later they're still on her bed, their lips even more swollen and bruised, except this time they're lying on their sides facing each other, Santana's fingers gently following the lines of Brittany's face, reverent. Brittany has never felt happier or more content in her life – she wants to stay like this forever.
She feels like she hasn't thought about anything other than how pretty Santana is in half an hour, because Santana really is very pretty, but then a question suddenly pops into her head. She takes Santana's hand and brings it to her mouth, kissing each finger, before lowering their hands together in the small space between them.
"If you lost your hearing when you were eight, does that mean you learned to talk?"
Santana nods solemnly and Brittany wonders why she never knew this before, considering it's kind of a big deal. She's heard Santana laugh and make noises before, (she totally squealed when Brittany took her for a ride on her bike), but Santana always seems a bit embarrassed about it after, and Brittany's never heard her actually talk.
She watches Santana take a deep breath and Brittany feels a little nervous, like she's going to hear something she won't like.
After, I could talk but I had trouble with my volume and making some sounds. Sometimes I made the wrong sounds. Kids used to make fun of me. They called me stupid and a freak. So I stopped. Sometimes I talk at home, but that's it.
Brittany feels both incredibly sad that Santana was bullied like that and furiously angry, wishing that she could go back and kick those kid's asses. She'd never let anyone hurt Santana like that.
She tells her as much and Santana smiles.
You did.
"What?"
Santana blushes a little and bites her lip. Brittany reaches out a finger to tug it back out, a shiver running across her arm and down her back when she's reminded again how soft Santana's perfect lips are.
(She really really likes Santana's lips.)
Santana sits up then and Brittany follows, a little confused as to what's going on, before Santana uses her hands to ask for a pen and paper. Brittany nods and reaches over to her bedside table behind her for the pad and pen she's been keeping there since Santana started hanging out at her house. She hands them over and Santana thanks her before scribbling quickly on the open page while Brittany just watches, thinking that the little crease between Santana's eyebrows that she gets when she's concentrating is just the cutest.
Before long Santana is handing the notebook over.
I was here visiting Rachel the summer after I got sick. We were in the park and I was talking to Rachel and another boy heard me and started making fun of me. He called me a retard. I ran off crying and sat down on the bench on the other side of the park. A girl who had been playing with another group of kids at the park come over a few minutes later with a bloody knee and told me that she'd whooped that boy for being mean to me. She told me that no one as pretty as me should ever look so sad.
Brittany looks up, eyes finding familiar brown ones, slippery memories locking into place as she finally realises why Santana seemed distantly familiar that first time she saw her. She's a little ashamed to admit that she doesn't really remember that day or what happened, but something inside of her remembered those eyes.
"That girl was you."
Santana is staring deep into Brittany's eyes as she speaks and some of the sounds are off and words clipped but Brittany doesn't even notice because she thinks Santana's voice is the most beautiful thing she's ever heard.
(But really what she loves most is that Santana trusts her with it.)
-x-
Being Santana's girlfriend is a billion times better than being her friend, like a billion times infinity, and not just because Brittany gets to kiss her and hold her hand and tell her how beautiful she is.
(Although that stuff is pretty awesome.)
Santana comes to cheer her on at her motocross meets and dance comps and Brittany can't help but want to show her off, show everyone how awesome her girlfriend is. Santana is always adorably shy and polite but Brittany has noticed her coming out of her shell more around other people and she thinks it's awesome because everyone's life would be better if they had more Santana in it.
(But not too much because she wants most of Santana for herself.)
She accompanies Santana to the deaf community group for teenagers that she goes to and then it's Santana's turn to show Brittany off and it's all kinds of adorable, the way Santana holds her hand the whole time and jokes about how she knew all along that Brittany liked her and she was just waiting for her to make a move.
(Although one of the girls doesn't look too happy that Brittany is there and keeps staring longingly at Santana, which Brittany doesn't like one bit. When Santana comes back from the restroom Brittany pulls her down into her lap and wraps her arms around her, smiling when Santana snuggles back into her, and it makes her feel much better.)
Brittany has dinner at Santana's house as much as she does her own and Santana's parents are pretty rad as far as parents go, especially since they let her stay over sometimes if she's there too late. Still, Santana's dad now looks at her a little warily when she gets too handsy with his daughter when he's around. But she knows that he totally approves of her because one night he pulled her aside and thanked her for making his baby girl so happy.
(He also totally scared the shit out of her when he said that she better not hurt Santana. Brittany just gulped loudly and nodded, trying not to pee her pants.)
He wasn't the only one giving her the 'if you ever hurt Santana' speech. Rachel did too of course, as well as most of the glee club, which Brittany totally knew would be coming. She did think it was kind of funny when Santana told her that Quinn had bailed her up after one of the classes they share and warned her not to mess with Brittany and that if she does she won't go easy on kicking her ass just because she's deaf.
(Brittany's still working on getting Santana and Quinn to be friends because Quinn still doesn't like anyone.)
(Although she really can't understand how anyone can not like Santana.)
One person who definitely doesn't have any problem liking Santana is Brittany's younger brother Jack. Santana thinks it's cute but Brittany thinks that the twelve year old's crush is getting out of hand, especially when she wants to cuddle up with Santana when they're watching a movie and Jack positions himself right in the middle of the couch. Or when they're making out on her bed and Brittany has her hand under Santana's top but Jack won't stop knocking on the door asking stupid questions. Brittany swears at him loudly because her mum isn't home and she can get away with it, while she signs and explains to Santana, and Santana giggles at her and kisses her neck so yeah, maybe it's not so bad.
Yup, being Santana's girlfriend is pretty fucking great.
-x-
Brittany didn't know that celebrating a one month anniversary was a real thing that people did when they're not in romantic comedies, but Rachel assures her that it is and that she needs to do something special for Santana. Brittany is willing enough to listen to Rachel's advice, that is until she starts telling her about what Finn did for their anniversaries and then Brittany can't help but make a face and get away as soon as possible.
So she spends her entire history period thinking of ways to spoil her girlfriend and show her how much she loves her, (things got a little elaborate involving jumping castles and hot air balloons for a minute there), but it turns out to be wasted time because as soon as she gets to her locker Santana is waiting for her with a cheeky smile and an invitation to spend the night at her house on Friday night. Santana explains that her parents will be away for the weekend. It takes Brittany a second but then her eyebrows raise and she swallows, her throat dry all of a sudden.
Brittany wouldn't classify herself as some kind of sex fiend, but she hasn't had it in a while and her girlfriend is super hot. Like, super hot. She thinks that if she were a boy she would be walking around sporting wood 75% of the time. But she knows that Santana is a virgin, and even if she weren't, Brittany wants their first time to be special and she especially wants to wait until Santana is ready. They've fooled around a bit, (Brittany is proud to say that she knows everything there is to know about Santana's boobs), but they've always pulled up just short. Although apparently that's about to change.
For the rest of the week and all of Friday at school Brittany is buzzing with anticipation, unable to concentrate on much else other than what's happening Friday night.
Time creeps by painfully slowly but then it's finally time to leave for Santana's house and she gives herself a once over in the mirror to make sure her dress is still stain-free, (she helped herself to a jelly donut before and she's always making a mess eating those), before grabbing her overnight bag and heading out the door. Her stomach is swirling like crazy the whole drive over and she has to sit in the car in Santana's driveway for a minute before she goes in, giving herself a little pep talk and telling herself to get her shit together. It won't be special for Santana if she's a bumbling fool.
The pep talk doesn't really work, she's still a bit of a bumbling fool, but making love to Santana is more special that Brittany had ever imagined.
(Brittany used to hate that term and think it was for middle-aged ladies romance books, but now she realises that there is nothing else she can call it. Nothing else that feels like enough to even come close to what this feels like.)
After dinner they'd watched a movie in the lounge, at least that was the plan, but that fell by the wayside pretty quickly as soon as they sat close to each other. Twenty minutes later Brittany was laying on top of Santana, her hand inching up her girlfriend's thigh under her dress and her lips working their way down Santana's neck. That's when Santana pushed her away enough to sit up, taking her hand and pulling her up the stairs to her bedroom.
Brittany had slipped Santana's dress off carefully, only breaking eye contact to kiss her girlfriend's shoulders and neck gently, before Santana helped her out of her own dress. Brittany's eyes raked over the perfect body of the girl she loves, feeling a little paralysed by nerves until Santana took her hand again and tugged her over to her bed.
Brittany could almost feel herself shaking with nerves as she hovered above Santana's naked body, her heart beating so loudly in her ears as she asked her girlfriend again if she was sure.
But Santana just pulled her down to answer with a kiss and then Brittany was lost to everything Santana, the curves and dips of her body and the soft moans that escaped her mouth and the love that made Brittany feel like every nerve in her body was on fire, unable to stop herself from whispering I love you into every inch of Santana's soft skin.
Afterwards they lay in bed together for hours, legs and arms tangled, and Brittany kissed the skin above Santana's heart as she held her close, never wanting to let go.
She finally knew what people were talking about.
-x-
Brittany is sitting in glee with Santana's head on her shoulder watching Tina totally kill a Fleetwood Mac song when she realises that she and Santana have never danced together. She's kind of shocked because yeah okay, Santana is deaf, but Brittany dances all the time. How could she have missed that?
Brittany doesn't usually tag along to glee club because it's the same time as her science club usually meets but it's off this week because thanks to Karofsky half the club went home with slushie dye in their eyes so she thought she'd come along. She knows that despite the obvious challenges Santana really likes being in glee with her friends and watching them dance and Brittany wants to dance too, but there's only one person she wants to dance with.
She turns to Santana and waits until her girlfriend's focus is on her before signing.
Will you dance with me?
Brittany holds out her hand and her smile grows watching the adorable blush on Santana's cheeks.
I can't hear the music Britt.
Brittany stands and brings Santana with her, pulling her away from the seats into empty space and then turns to face her, taking her girlfriend's arms and wrapping them around her neck as they begin to sway easily.
"We don't need music."
.
.
Title taken from Birdy's awesome cover of Cherry Ghost's song People Help the People…even though it has no real bearing on the story whatsoever…I just like that lyric. But the song is awesome - YouTube it.
Thanks for reading…and like practically everyone on here I have a tumblr where I post sneak peeks from my stories and answer questions, (as well as reblog hilarious shit from people far better than myself), so the link is in my profile if you wanna hit me up.
peace.