A/N: This is my first story, so be kind.
This story is for 18 and over only! So, kiddies go away.
This Bella is OOC, and she does have a bit of a potty mouth.
Many thanks to Mist for pre-reading.
Oh yeah, SM owns everything!
~B of L~
PROLOGUE
"I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before"
One Step Closer - Linkin Park
BPOV
"You don't have to leave."
I sighed in frustration as I stuffed another pair of jeans in my suitcase. I wasn't in the mood for this shit. For the last month, the same five words had left my mother's mouth a thousand times. I might be inclined to think her sincere if I didn't see the second of panic in her eyes with the thought I might actually stay.
Every single time.
She didn't want me here, and she didn't want me to leave. I couldn't win for losing.
No, I had to escape. While I could.
Not bothering to look at her, I shook my head. "Mom, we have been over this. I want to spend time with Charlie." I looked up from my task to see my mother sitting at the end of my bed, nodding her head while she released a shaky breath. I rolled my eyes. Good thing she wasn't an actress or I would have starved to death for sure.
"When is your flight?"
How many times have I told her that? Ten, Twenty. "1pm. I need the car in the morning; I'm shipping several boxes to Washington," I said as I lifted another armload from the closet to my bed.
"Oh, I can do that for you. Why don't you get some rest before you travel?" When have I voluntarily slept in? That was her M.O., not mine. I didn't have time to sleep. Anyway, I couldn't trust her with the chore. Not if I wanted to see my possessions ever again. She can't remember fucking anything, especially if I didn't put a Post-It on her forehead first.
"No, I can." She nodded again, not even trying to fight me on it. The words leaving her mouth obviously as far as the intention had went. She got up and made her way to the door.
She hesitated for a second, mulling over her next words. "Did you get all your records from the school and doctor to take with you?"
I bit my tongue to keep a hateful comment from spewing out. God forbid I leave any trace of the last several years here. "Yes," I hissed after rolling some socks and slamming them in my carryon.
"Okay, honey. Don't stay up too late. Goodnight."
"Night," I said in relief with her departure. I should probably say something more, get everything off my chest. The resentment, the hurt. But me and my mother were on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon, and all the things left unsaid filled up the chasm between us. We couldn't bridge it now, silence made for poor foundations and she was out of time. And I learned a long time ago, neither of us could fly.
With a calming breath, I walked to my window. My spirit was as scorched as the earth outside, and I needed real change before I moved on after school.
Wild horses couldn't keep me in Phoenix and although I was less than excited about soggy Forks, I was looking forward to my last move. The last first day of school. Oh I'm sure the first couple of days will be as awkward and painful as others, but it will be manageable. No one will know me, and I didn't have any intention of knowing them. It was easier that way, and I so deserved easy.
With a sense of finality, I sealed the last box with packing tape and placed the box outside my door. I would have my new stepfather, Phil, put in the car tomorrow. I turned around and looked at the bare room. A stranger entering would never knew anyone had lived here for four years. Just like every other room I had left before. I was like a wisp of cloud blowing from place to place.
But unlike all those other moves, I felt a warm sense of ... something. It wasn't hope. I had giving up on that pipe dream long ago. Anticipation, maybe. This would be good for me. Perhaps I could find that thing I've heard about, but had never had.
Normalcy.
I scoffed as I laid my head on the pillow. Not fucking likely.
A/N - Thanks for reading! Don't judge the story based only on this chapter. I promise it is better than the opening.