A/N: Ooh, it's April-May-June rush at my school. Amazing. I can feel my inner-self crying with all the stress.

Anyway, I tried a shot at an AmeBela drabble. And humour. This will actually my first-ish attempt on writing something that isn't too heavy on romance. Still, forgive me for butchering the comedy genre, please.

I also realized the formatting might be a tad bit confusing, but in short:

Hi. - Normal narration (a.k.a. Arthur's perspective in third-person)
"Hi." - Alfred, someone else speaking
(Hi.) - Arthur 'saying' side comments to Alfred's side comments

Title: The Unclear Certainty of a Particular American's Stupidity
Rating: T
Warning: semi-AU (human names are used), a bit of swearing, plot disappearances.
Genre/s: (failed) Humor, (slight) Romance
Pairing/s: one-sided?AmeBela
Summary (excerpt): Arthur knew two things for certain: Alfred F. Jones was an idiot, although the American would adamantly try to disagree, and he was madly head over heels for Natalya Arlovskaya.
Inspiration/s: A few AmeBela stories. Maybe just the entire fanbase as a whole.

Hope you enjoy!

I do not own Hetalia.

Arthur knew two things for certain: Alfred F. Jones was an idiot, although the American would adamantly try to disagree, and he was madly head over heels for Natalya Arlovskaya. To be clear, Alfred was. Not Arthur. He would never ever be in love with her.

"I'm also your best friend!"

(That's beside the point, you idiot!)

...But of course, the second point did lead to the first one. Who would fall for Natalya, over-possessive younger half-sister of the one and only psychopathic Russian that once showed up with a lead pipe in tow because he thought it would be 'fun for the kids'?

Other than Alfred, of course. Or Toris, bless that poor boy's soul. But even then, why?

"Well, if you really want a reason, it's because-"

Who would fall for Natalya Arlovskaya, the one that almost broke the hand of that Finnish guy because he tripped over her brother? The one that could throw a pen with extreme precision and crack a window? The one that had a glare so icy, it made people stay home for weeks because of 'pneumonia'? The one that was rumoured to drink venom for breakfast because of how lathered her tongue was with heavy sarcasm?

The one that Ivan himself was scared of?

"Hey! Anyone who creeps Ivan out is awesome in my book...I guess. It's a pretty sick achievement. Oh, and don't forget that she's the only one that has such soft blonde hair, or bright blue eyes, or a painful roundhouse kick, or-"

(Shut up, you lovesick git.)

"Aw, I bet you're just jealous that Natalya has all of my love! Don't worry, my dear Artie! There's enough of me to share!"

(Did I tell you to be quiet or what?)

So all in all, Alfred F. Jones was a fool, and there was no way he could be stupider than he already was. There was no way it could get worse than actually mistaking his twin brother for himself.

"...What the hell, Artie?"

(You don't believe me, do you? Allow me to quote it word for word, for it seems to have slipped your mind since yesterday. Ahem: 'Oh my God! Why is my reflection not being a reflection?!')

Yes, there was absolutely no way Alfred could be stupider than that. No way. No absolute bloody way-

"Woaaah. Wait. Hold up. Lemme do something for a second. Yes, yes, this is important. And yes, it doesn't involve frogs...Yo, Nat! You're looking hella fine as ever, babe! Do you finally wanna have that date we've been meaning to have since last year?"

"Jones, if you say another word from that filthy mouth of yours, I will personally see to it that your tongue gets ripped apart to become fodder for the pigs."

Arthur sighed, facepalming as Alfred began to grin and walk towards his death wish. Guess that was spoken too soon.

Still, at least the Englishman was right about him being an idiot.