During vs the Break-up
"What has gotten into Chuck? I couldn't help it Bryce showed up. It's not my fault Beckman wants us to use the Andersons cover. The dress is beautiful. I know I look good in this color! What's more, I bought the dress with Chuck in mind. How could Chuck say he doesn't like red? Or salmon? Bryce likes my dress and he likes what's in the dress. It's not like I haven't seen that look in his eyes before."
Sarah sat and stared at the wall in Castle, arms folded across her chest, legs crossed in a ladylike manner, her foot bouncing up and down in frustration. Her eyes bore a sad countenance, her winning smile somewhere far away, the picture of an unhappy woman. "How could Chuck be so mean," Sarah thought. "I was looking directly at him when I asked how I looked. How could Chuck not know it was his approval I wanted, not Bryce's."
Emerging from the armory carrying a bag of equipment, Casey noticed the pensive Sarah sitting at the briefing table. She hadn't moved since Chuck and Bryce had left to gas up the vehicles for the night's mission. Casey knew the source of Walker's angst.
"Get your lady-feelings hurt Walker? What did numb-nuts do this time? No, I don't want to know. This is why I worry about you compromising yourself with the asset. This better not affect tonight's mission Walker."
Sarah turned to look at Casey, shooting him a malice laden stare.. "Don't worry, it won't. Unlike Chuck, I am a professional. I can compartmentalize my emotions."
Casey watched Walker with growing concern. His worries never stemmed from concerns about Walker's spy-craft. She was the most capable partner he had ever worked with.
Casey's concerns stemmed from the fact she was becoming more difficult to manage on missions, all attributable to her lady feelings for Bartowski. Now Bartowski has done something to hurt those lady feelings again, creating a source of possible distraction for tonight's mission.
Walker was in pain. Not physical pain from an injury or torture. Casey could relate to, understand and treat physical pain. This was something different. Pain from lady feelings was something beyond his ability, desire even, to understand or deal with. It was also the sole source of distraction disrupting Walker's performance.
What really frightened Casey was how attuned he had become to Walker's "lady feelings" and those of Bartowski, even if he chose not to understand. How he seemed to be the only one on the team aware of how the pain these two inflicted on each other endangered the entire team, their missions and each of their lives.
Walker suddenly turned her head away from Casey, again vacantly staring and at the wall. She reached to her eye with her right hand, attempting to hide a stray tear from Casey, bringing his thoughts back to the here and now.
"Walker, I don't like it when a member of my team has trouble concentrating before a mission."
Sarah's head snapped around to again, shooting Casey an evil glare. She held Casey's eyes with her piercing enforcer stare. "I told you, I won't have a problem tonight."
Casey glared right back at Walker, matching the intensity of her glare. "Humph. Better not."
Casey slowly climbed to the first landing of the stairs exiting Castle through the Orange Orange stopping to glance down at Walker, again staring vacantly at the wall before her, pouting like a love sick teenager.
Hoping to defuse the situation, Casey grunted to attract Walker's attention. He waited as she slowly turned and tilted her face upwards to gaze at him, her blue eyes moist and brimming with tears from whatever hurt Bartowski had inflicted.
"Walker."
"What?"
"Get through the mission tonight. I'll get numb nuts alone, hurt him.
"Casey, no."
"I won't kill the moron. Won't even cause permanent damage to any vital organs or limbs. Just teach him a lesson. You know, leave a few marks where they won't be seen."
Sarah smiled at Casey, touched by his offer, an offer she knew was hard for the NSA agent to make. Well, not the part about hurting Chuck physically, but the implied part about punishing Chuck for hurting her "lady feelings." It was as close as Casey would come to an admission he'd noticed Chuck had hurt her.
"Casey. Thank you, but no."
"By the way Walker, you look classy tonight."
Sarah smiled, pleased someone had noticed.
Grunting softly, Casey made his way out of Castle. Listen to me. I am going soft, becoming a girly-man. Hopefully Walker will focus now. Don't care if Walker doesn't want me to, I'm hurting Bartowski when I get a chance.
As Casey left Castle, Sarah smiled. Feeling a little better from the unexpected affirmation, she collected the few items she needed for the mission. Stopping in front of the mirror to check her appearance and repair her make-up, Sarah thought, perhaps, she liked what she saw. Surely, Casey would not have complimented her unless he meant it. She sighed, as she turned to examine herself one more time.
It would have been so wonderful for Chuck to tell me I looked pretty, even if it is just for cover. He just doesn't care about me. Our cover relationship isn't even that to him. Chuck is so sensitive and caring to all his friends and family, but not when it comes to me.
A flirty, juvenile smile slowly spread across her face. If Chuck could be mean and make her hurt, two could play at that game. Let's see how you like having your insecurities played with Chuck.
In fact, Bryce could stand to be put in his place as well. Thinking he could just waltz back into her life like nothing had happened.
Climbing the stairs, Sarah paused at the door to the Orange Orange. Sarah sighed and swallowed, calming her emotions before once again slipping into her Agent Walker persona as she passed through the door.
At the party…
Casey sat in the van watching all the surveillance and monitoring his team via their earpieces, hoping Bartowski and Walker would play nice and Larkin would not yank the chain of either of his team members.
Sarah watched as Chuck served wine and champagne to guests, noting he looked cute in his waiter's uniform. Bryce looked cute in his tux as well, smiling as he fed Sarah fruit and held her close.
The band changed tunes, playing a tango and Sarah smiled wickedly at Bryce. Time to make both of you boys pay for the way you've treated me. Pulling Bryce on to the dance floor, in minutes the other partygoers moved to create room for the beautiful couple to dance their tango, to share the erotic tension between the two dancers.
Sarah saw Chuck out of the corner of her eye and was delighted to see Chuck frozen in place with his mouth hanging open, jealous. Bryce, enthralled to be dancing with Sarah, complimented her graceful yet lascivious dancing. She returned his compliment with a teasing smile, insulting him "you're a little rusty."
Bryce, hoping to work his way into Sarah's bed after the mission's end, did not like Sarah suddenly being difficult. Used to always having the upper hand, Bryce felt the sting of her insult and resented Sarah controlling their dance, leading him where she wanted, controlling him, forcing him to follow her. "Let me lead" he pleaded in hope of regaining control of the dance and the upper hand with Sarah.
Inwardly Sarah smiled to herself before taunting Bryce with a flirty no. Enjoy this dance and the cover PDA that goes with it Bryce. It is as close as you will ever get to my bed again.
Looking over her shoulder again at Chuck, Sarah was delighted to see Chuck about to boil over in jealousy as she danced with Bryce, Chuck's greatest source of insecurity.
This will teach you to toy with my feelings Sarah thought. All I wanted was for you to tell me I was pretty, that my dress was pretty. Not Bryce. You Chuck. I would have settled for cute. Instead, you were mean to me, just like all the boys in high school. You made me feel ugly again. You made me feel like Jenny again!
Casey groaned as he watched Walker simultaneously tease Bryce and turn Bartowski green with jealousy. He ordered Chuck to move to the mark in an attempt to flash before turning off all the com channels except Walkers.
"What are you doing Walker? Are you trying to sabotage the mission? Quit acting like a teenage girl!"
Sarah spun Bryce around as she searched for one of the cameras Casey was using as for a surveillance feed. Finding one, Sarah glared at Casey through the camera, narrowing her eyes and frowning, letting Casey see her anger, see she was in no mood to be toyed with by anyone, including him.
Mr. President, what am I to do with Walker? If she doesn't kill Bartowski first, I am. For good measure I'm going to kill Larkin a second time too. Head shot to make certain.
Casey opened the com channels again only to hear Bartowski being fired by the mark for dropping a thousand dollar bottle of champagne.
That settles it. I'm killing Bartowski. Walker can shoot his dead body.
At the hospital
The sledgehammer pounding on her head caused Sarah to open her eyes again. At least it was a sledgehammer this time, not the jackhammer it had been earlier in the day. Glancing at the wall of flowers from Bryce she sighed to herself. Walker, you've gotten yourself into a fine mess this time.
How could I let myself fall for Chuck, to have feelings for the nerd. I'm supposed to be his handler and crossing the emotional line can't happen, ever. How could I ever hope to have even a cover relationship with him?
Bryce. Of course he shows up. Betraying both of us once wasn't enough, even though Bryce thinks the reasons for his actions are good, even noble.
Two suitors. Six months ago I had none and didn't want one. What is wrong with me? Bryce was possible. He's an agent. We made it work while it lasted but it was doomed from the start. Spies can never be in love.
Why did I have to meet Chuck? Someone I cannot have. Why did he have to make me feel things?
How could he confuse me so? Get past my defenses? Make me want our cover relationship to work, to be real, for as long as it lasted. Chuck just hates me, hates the fact my world collided with his world. The lies, the deception. That's why he is being cruel to me. I brought it on myself.
Drained from her concussion and exhausted emotionally by the inner turmoil of competing emotions, Sarah drifted into an uneasy sleep.
At the Buy More…
Casey set down the file, having found the information he wanted. Grunting, he stood to leave Castle and find the moron in the Buy More.
Standing just outside the worker's lounge, Casey spotted Bartowski, pouting at the Nerd Herd desk.
Moving slowly, Casey stalked Bartowski, approaching unnoticed from behind, punching Bartowski in the back, startling the chief Nerd Herder.
Casey, what have I said about not stalking me like prey and then punching me! My heart is racing now and I nearly wet myself in surprise.
Casey glared at the moron. Why am I doing this? The team! The team! It is what Reagan would do. Put the team first!
Moron, you gone to see Walker yet?
Uh, yeah, about that. Well, I may have said some things before the mission that could be considered, well, uh, you know, sort of mean spirited.
Grunt. What, you numb nuts? Didn't know you had it in you. Ohhhhh, wait, did you say those mean things to Walker? That's no way to treat your lady friend, especially when she could rip your heart out and show it to you before you died.
Casey, do you always have to be so graphic about violence, especially when you're talking about Sarah? I feel bad enough as it is, Sarah got hurt because I made a mistake and she had to protect me. Now she's in the hospital. To make things worse, I had not been nice to her earlier in the evening. It's just, Bryce makes things so confusing for me. I really…
Shut up moron. I don't want to hear about your mushy lady feelings or your man issues with Larkin.
You're going to fix this with Walker. Understand? Can't have my team all messed up.
You're going on a mission, solo.
What? No, I can't do that. I'm not a spy, I'm just an asset. You can't make me! No, no, not going on a solo spy mission.
Grunting in frustration, Casey grabbed Bartowski by his upper arm and squeezed hard enough to cause the moron to cry out in pain.
Keep it down moron or I'll show you what real pain is!
You're going to the hospital. By yourself. That's the mission.
You're going to stop and get flowers. Gardenias. They're Walker's favorite.
Go to her room. Give Walker the flowers. Talk. Share lady feelings or whatever it is you two do. Make her feel like you are at least friends. You can even cry if you want, I don't care. Ugghhh. Just fix whatever it is that needs fixing so the team can function. Fix the cover.
And what if I don't?
I will hurt you! Do you understand what I mean by hurt you?
Uh, yes, Casey, I think I have a vague idea. I have witnessed on occasion, though I did not want to, you hurting people. No need to talk about this, I'm going, I'm going.
Pausing, Chuck turned. Casey?
Ugghhh?
How do you know Sarah likes gardenias?
Spy Bartwoski!
Yeah, that would explain it.
Casey?
What!?
Thanks.
Whatever.
Sarah's hospital room…
Chuck paused before entering Sarah's room. His heart fell when he saw her sleeping, an IV running from her arm. She looked like an angel, so beautiful with her golden hair curling around her face.
I have to make this right. Sarah didn't deserve those things I said. She looked stunning in her gown. I just wanted to show Bryce he couldn't get to me again. Why did I think hurting Sarah, putting her down like that, would give me the upper hand with Bryce? Like somehow that would hurt Bryce and not Sarah? What was I thinking? Casey's right. I have to make this right, even if it is just for the sake of the team. Sarah deserves that much. She deserves to have a team that works well, even if it is just to keep her as safe as possible on missions.
Sarah opened her eyes and smiled at Chuck, melting what was left of his heart, causing Chuck to smile his big goofy smile.
Hi.
Hey!
I brought you some gardenias.
They're my favorite, how did you know?
Well, I am not an entirely incompetent spy, you know.
Thank you! You can put them over there.
Chuck turned to see the wall of flowers. Dozens of arrangements. His heart fell. Not again. Chuck felt same tired tidal wave of disappointment rising within, the feeling he would never measure up to Bryce, or any man worthy of Sarah's heart. Sarah was too good, too special for him to ever win her heart, to be worthy of her love and companionship, real or cover.
Bryce Larkin, huh? I guess no matter what it is, I'll always come in second to that guy.
Sarah watched Chuck's shoulders sag in despair, no defeat, and came to the sudden realization that Chuck did care. He was measuring himself against Bryce! Chuck wanted to compete for her! Maybe Chuck did want her, or at least to be friends with her.
No! Don't let yourself be vulnerable! That's how you wound up here in the hospital! That's how you almost let Chuck get killed in the grenade blast.
Fighting her two conflicting inner personalities, Sarah heard herself telling Chuck some encouraging words, words that could be taken as encouragement or have a deeper, more personal meaning.
Not always.
Chuck smiled and sat on the end of her bed, just watching Sarah for a moment.