Title: I Didn't Kiss Back
Author: Goddess Shinigami
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the wonderful characters of Harry Potter; Ms. J.K.
Rowling does.
Notes: Well, uhm . . .I know I'm a bit behind on a few fics like Screwed, Why
Them, and Don't leave Me which is due for it's last chapter, but this just came
to me and I figured might as well right it while the idea stays in my head. I'm
sorry to all my faithful Harry/Draco readers, but I try okies? I had the last
chapter of Don't Leave Me halfway finished and then my mum rebooted my
computer! So this is just a little treat for all of you guys who are waiting.
Oh yeah and this: ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ means a flashback and I'm not
specifically sure on how apparating works so, I just thought of a way that
would fit. I mean I know that you're in one place and you go to another, but I
have something I did I'm not sure if you can or not, so uhm just don't gang up
on me about it. Also I made up my own spell at one point. Oh and yeah. .
.it may be just a tad cliche. Well, on to the story.
The dinner had been great. He had done everything I hadn't expected him to do
and I didn't know if that was ok or not, yet. I was just a little afraid.
Heh, leave it to me to be afraid of a date with him. It wasn't like
anything I had ever experienced before, though. The walls just weren't
there anymore and those smoky grey eyes looked right into mine without contempt
or malice. It was like being in an alternate universe, but my feet were firmly
planted in the same one I had always been in. I couldn't believe this was
happening . . . .
Harry stopped writing and set his diary down on the nightstand next to his bed.
He lay back on the pillows and closed his eyes. It was like nothing I
ever felt before. I was flying without my broom and when he . . . . Harry
sat up. "I can't believe I . . .I let him kiss me. Draco Malfoy kissed
me." Harry made a disgusted face, but a little voice in his head taunted
him. You know you liked it. You even kissed him back! It yelled.
"No, no I didn't! You're lying!" He yelled back and the little voice,
but it kept telling him the same thing. Harry knew how to settle this.
"I'll just go over the whole afternoon and night, including the kiss, in
my mind." He told himself and the little voice with a smug smile.
^.^ ^.^ ^.^
I walked into the little Irish pub around three in the afternoon to have a bit
of a late lunch since I had been busy rearranging things at my new flat in
downtown London. I sat down at a table, near the back, hoping no one
would bother me while I was there. I sat for a few moments, alone, until the
waitress walked over. She took my order and came right back with my beer,
leaving it on a cardboard coaster.
I was so glad it was a muggle pub. Not many of the people I didn't want to see
ever came into those. In no time I was eating my fish and chips, drinking my
beer, and just generally relaxing when an all too familiar body walked into the
pub. I tried my best to blend into the background, but seeing as the walls are
white and my hair is black it didn't work out very well. He spotted me
and continued to make his way toward my table.
When he got there he slid gracefully onto the bench on the other side of the
table and folded his hands on top of it, staring intently at me. I raised an
eyebrow. He didn't respond so I figured speech was the next best thing.
"Hullo Malfoy. What brings you to my table where I'm attempting to eat
lunch?" I asked him and he seemed to snap out of his trance.
Draco looked at me and sort of gritted his teeth like there was something he
had to say, but didn't want to. He sighed. "Well, Potter, I wanted
to know if you would join me for dinner this evening?" He asked
casually.
I looked at him for a few moments. I wanted to burst out laughing. He's
actually asking me out on a date? Oh good god this is insane! I said to
myself. After having calmed down I looked at Draco seriously. "Did I
hear you right? Did you just . . .ask me to dinner?" I asked with a
questioning expression on my face.
Draco nodded and looked a little ashamed. "Look, Pot-Harry I know I've
been a complete prick to you for over seven years now and I just want to . . .
. I will give you all the details later if you will just agree to go with me.
So, what is your choice?" He asked looking down at his hands.
Harry sat there for a moment, nibbling on a fry, trying to decide if he should
trust Malfoy and go or just turn him down. Well, if he is trying to
humiliate me for the millionth time I can always walk out on him. So, what the
hell, I'll go. I thought. "Sure, Malfoy. I'll join you." I told
him.
He looked at me for a moment like he hadn't expected me to agree to go with
him. For a moment I even thought his eyes had lit up. "Ok, I'll pick you
up at eight. It's black dress robe so, be sure to dress appropriately."
With that said Draco stood up and left the pub just as gracefully as he had
come in.
I sat there stunned for a moment. I mean he didn't even know where I lived. I
guessed he would be apparating to my flat. Oh great he's apparating to my
flat. Just to criticize it I'll bet. I thought standing up, leaving the
money and tip on the table, and then walking out of the pub.
I walked back to my flat and flopped down on the couch. It was almost four
thirty. Three and a half hours to go. I told myself. I figured it would go by
faster if I took a nap so I pulled the afghan [1] off the back of the couch and
laid down on the couch pillows.
When I woke up it was dark. I looked around the room and my eyes fell on a dark
shadow standing in one corner. I stared at it hard for a few minutes and then
all of a sudden it moved. I screamed and backed as far away as the couch I was
sitting on would let me. I didn't get too far.
The shadow began laughing. Then all of a sudden the lights flicked on.
"Chill, Harry. It's just me." Draco said approaching the couch and
sitting down next to Harry. "I said I'd be here at eight. You didn't
answer so I just apparated in. I'm sorry if I scared you. Now go get ready."
He said gesturing toward the hallway.
I stood up and walked to my bedroom to get dressed, but something was
off. I pulled my dress robe out of the closet and put it on. Then it hit
me. Malfoy had apologized. Well, there's no need to be alarmed. Draco's
probably just on some serious drugs and wants to ask me for money or something
to feed his drug habit. Although, he doesn't look like he has been doing drugs.
He's just been altogether not Malfoy since he came into that pub this
afternoon. Of course I haven't seen him in about a year. Maybe he's changed. That's
what I told myself as I left my bedroom and walked back into the living room.
When I walked in the lights were off again and the only light in the room was
coming from Malfoy's wand. it glowed a soft green which illuminated his face.
He didn't seem to notice my entrance. I cleared my throat. he looked up and
immediately his wand went out. Now it was completely dark. Harry waited for
Malfoy to say something, but not a sound was heard. All of a sudden there was a
hand in mine. I was about to protest, but Malfoy's voice cut me off before I
had even said anything.
"Shhh. . .apparate with me." He said squeezing my hand.
I raised an eyebrow, but it was useless because he couldn't see it.
"But how ca-" I started to ask, Malfoy cut me off again with a nudge
in the side.
"Trust me." He said. So I did and we apparated.
When we came out we were in the wizarding world. I had expected as much on
account of the robes. We were outside a fancy restaurant. I looked up at
it and gawked. I had been many places in the wizarding world, but most of
the places I had seen where you could eat weren't this ritzy. It was
called La Lune et la Nuit Etoilée. Hmm. . .I thought. You don't see
French much in London. So where are we?
Draco answered my unvoiced question. "We are in Paris, Harry. I always
wanted to go to this restaurant, but I never had a special enough occasion or
anyone to go with. In this case I have acquired both." He said smiling and
it was a genuine smile, too. It wasn't like the ones I was used to seeing. Then
he began leading me to the entrance or as they say in France l'entrance.
Up until that point I had forgotten he was holding my hand, but now I
remembered and let go. I looked at him and saw a flicker of something in his
eyes, but it was gone too fast for me to make out what it was. So, I decided to
interrupt the momentary silence. "What's the occasion?" I asked
him as we walked up the front steps and into the building.
Draco just smiled and walked up to the hostess. She asked if he had a
reservation. He nodded. "It should be under Draco Malfoy." He told
the woman.
She smiled and picked up two menus. "I'm so glad you could come Mr.
Malfoy. Most all of your mother's family has been to dine here. We are pleased
that you have finally visited yourself." She led them both to a room
beyond the main dining room. There was one small table, two chairs, candles
lighting the walls, and candles on the table.
To me it seemed a little to romantic. Especially for somewhere that Draco was
taking me. I was getting a little suspicious. I sat down across from him at the
table.
The hostess handed us our menus after we had sat down. "Now, to order all
you have to do is touch the tip of your wand to the selection you want and say Conciliare.
Thank you for coming and enjoy your stay." She told us and promptly left.
"I already paid in advance so we wouldn't be bothered the rest of the time
we are here. Don't worry about what you get because I paid enough for two
of anything on the menu and if you don't get anything, the hostess gets a large
tip." Draco told me, but only glancing at me once. He seemed a little on
edge. This whole situation was so unlike Draco I was shocked into
believing that he was genuine in his intentions. He didn't bring me here in
false pretenses. He brought me here to tell me something, although that was yet
to be revealed.
After a few long minutes Draco looked up from his menu and smiled that smile
again. It was beginning to get a little creepy. "So do know what you
are going to order yet?" He asked me.
Of course I had stared at the menu for the last couple minutes trying to figure
out what he was going to tell me tonight and not seeing a single thing that
they offered to eat. I briefly glanced at the menu again and saw that it was
all in French. "Je parle pas francais.' I told him. Then I hit
myself over the head. I had said it in French.
Draco looked at me funny. "Tu parle pas francais? Mais ton francais est
magnifique!" He laughed. I'll give him as much. It was funny.
"Why did you say you don't speak French when you do and you speak it quite
well. You're pronunciation was perfect. Alas I will order for you." Draco
smiled again and looked down at the menu. "I will order you the same as I.
Then it will be easier." Draco pulled out his wand and whispered the spell
a few times.
Out of nowhere some kind of food and wine appeared in front of me. It
smelled good and looked good, but I really wanted to know what Draco brought me
here to say more than I wanted to eat. I looked across the table at his.
He even looked different today. His features somehow seemed softer, but that
must have been the candle light. It had to be the candle light.
"Draco," Wait a minute. When did I start calling him Draco?
Draco looked up quickly as his name was lightly said from across the table. He
had obviously been shocked at my use of his first name also. Well, might as
well continue on the way I started. Besides his first name isn't so bad.
"Draco, what is it that you brought me here to tell me? I want to
know." I asked him.
He sort of dropped his eyes and whispered something. After a few seconds he
spoke again, but this time louder. "After dinner Harry. Just eat and don't
worry about it right now." He told me and promptly picked up his
fork.
Then the silence came. It gave me time to think, though. Time to figure out why
I was here. Why I had trusted Draco and come away with him. I can't believe
I trusted him just like that. I should've at least hesitated more than I did.
I thought to myself.
I finished my meal and sipped my wine. Whatever it was that we had eaten had
been very good, but I'm really not sure what it was and since we were in France
I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Draco was finished also, but he didn't sit back
or relax. He seemed to tense up a little. "Draco, what is it?" I
asked.
Draco closed his eyes and sat his wine glass down on the table. I did the same
and folded my hands in front of my empty plate. It was quiet for a few moments
and the air was tense., but then Draco began to speak. "Harry, I. . I
brought you here to tell you. . .I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I
did to you while we were at school. I'm sorry for everything I did to you out
of school. I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for everything I ever did
wrong." He told me.
I stared at him for a moment. He was apologizing for everything he'd done. I
couldn't believe it. I was shocked. It was as if time had stopped and we were
stuck in that moment. Then as time started to move again I went back over what
he had said. He was sorry for school, out of school, loving me, and
everything he had done wrong. Wait he was sorry for loving me?! He loves me?
Why did he love me and why was he sorry for it. I thought.
"Harry could you please say something?" Draco asked breaking through
my reverie.
I stared at him for a few more moments and then finally decided to speak.
"You. . You're sor- You love me? Ho-How long?" I asked, breathless.
He looked at me and sighed. "Since I met you." He told me. Then he
reached over the short span of the table and took my hand in his for the second
time that night. "Listen, I know you will never love me and I'm sorry for
telling you this, but I felt I had to." He said squeezing my hand.
"But why did you? For seven years you tormented me. Why, if you loved
me?" I asked.
He let go of my hand. "I know you're expecting to hear some story about
how I couldn't cope with my love for you or I was mad because you refused my
friendship at the beginning of First year, but that's not it at all. I was mean
and ruthless basically a complete prick because of my Father." Draco
paused.
"How can your Fath-" He cut me off.
"Just listen. After I met you at Madame Malkin's I finished my shopping
and went home. My father hadn't been with me, but I found out later that he had
been watching me. I went into the house and was immediately ushered into his
study. He was sitting behind his immensely scary desk, drumming his
fingers on the polished wooden surface. I sat down in the chair on my side and
looked down at my hands. 'You like Potter don't you boy?' he asked me. I
still looked down, but I confirmed his question. I had learned talking to him
was not the way to go. 'Well, boy Potter is the enemy. I will be watching you every
second while you are in school. If I see that you have made a nice gesture or
even relented from tormenting him the way he should be tormented. You will be
immensely punished.' So that is why I was a prick to you and your friends . I
know I shouldn't have listened to him, but you don't want to know what he does
to punish people. I was scared and I'm sorry." He finished.
That was an odd story. I thought. I looked across the table and he was pushing
his plate out of the was and standing up. Just then when I thought he was
leaving I felt that I had to do something. I couldn't let him leave just like
that. "Draco wait. If it helps you, when you offered your friendship. I
wanted to be your friend. I just didn't want to hurt Ron." I told him as I
stood up and stepped to his side.
Draco smiled and looked at me. "Thank you." he said as he took my
hand again. I was beginning to get used to it. It did feel bad. It was almost
like our hands belonged in each other's. "Come on. . .apparate with me,
again." He smiled and squeezed my had again.
Before I knew it we were back in the dark of my living room. Draco was
till holding my hand and frankly I didn't want him to let go. We stood there
for a moment in the dark, neither of us saying anything. I closed my eyes. Even
though I couldn't believe it, I didn't want Draco to leave. "Don't
go." I whispered through the shadows.
"I have to. I will return soon. I promise. Look for a raven. He will warn
you of my visit." He told me. I let go of his hand and walked to the other
side of the room, flicking on the light switch. The world went black for
a moment as my eyes adjusted to the bright light. Draco was standing right
where he had been when I let go of his hand. He hadn't moved.
I walked back over to him. "So, I'll see you around, Draco." I told
him casually. He looked at me and smiled again. I was beginning to really
like that smile. It was something, something I hadn't ever thought I would say
about Draco. That smile of his was. . .sexy.
He nodded. "Soon." He said and turned to go out the door.
"Harry, I just have one more thing." He said stopping and turning
around.
'Yes?" I asked walking towards him. I wondered briefly why my heart was
racing, but that thought was shoved out of my mind as he leaned forward and kissed
me. I was shocked for a minute, but his lips on mine felt so warm and soft and
beautiful. I kissed back and he leaned against the door. I was the one leading
the kiss now. It never occurred to me I was kissing my once arch enemy. I was
flying. I was soaring above all the clouds and all I could think of was how
right it all felt. Then the kiss ended.
Draco looked at me. I had my arms around his waist and his hands were tangled
in my hair. I didn't even know how we got that way. He gently let god and
pulled away. "I have to go. I'll se you later. Thank you. Thank You so
much." He whispered and then was gone in the blinking of an eye. I leaned
against the door and sighed. That had been a taste of heaven.
^.^ ^.^ ^.^
Harry finished the memory. "So, I did kiss him back. I don't believe it. I
remember now. It was wonderful. I must've blocked that park out." He said
to himself. Then the little voice came back. See I told you, you kissed him
back. It said. Harry smiled. "Yes, yes I did. Maybe I'll get to
kiss him next time." He told the voice. Harry picked up his diary
once more.
. . . and when he kissed me. It was like flying on the fastest broom I had
ever ridden. It was heaven and all I want to do is visit that place again.
Yours Truly,
Harry Potter
He finished his entry and laid back on the pillows a second time. Now was time
to visit that heaven again. He would visit the memory in his dreams. That dream
would stay with him for as long as he lived even after Draco's love of him was
returned and they were together. The memory of their first kiss was always the
most beautiful.
C'est Finis!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. An afghan is a kind of knitted blanket, not someone from Afghanistan.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave constructive
criticism and reviews through email at GoddessShinigami@aol.com or
fuzzy_silly_muffy@hotmail.com. I would really appreciate it. Thank you again.
I love you all,
Goddess Shinigami