"Steven! Come and help me put up the Christmas tree!" Pearl calls out
"I don't know maybe later." I sigh
"What's up with Steven? I know he is always sort of depressed around this time of year but it's getting ridiculous!" Amethyst notifies as she stuffs her face with Christmas cookies
"He is just upset that he has to spend another Holiday without his Mom." Garnet whispers
"I can hear you all!" I moan
"Sorry!" Pearl apologizes
Amethyst walks into my room and plops down onto my bed.
"Hey, don't be so sad Steven! We're going to have a huge party and your Cousin is coming over too! Along with your Aunt and Uncle! Aren't you excited?"
"Laceyrose? And Uncle James and Aunt Amara? I haven't seen her since we were five!"
"So now you can catch up with her! She's from Wisconsin right? How much cheese do you think we need to bring?" Amethyst with her eyes lighting up. She loves anything that has to do with food
"I'm pretty sure they don't eat that much cheese in Wisconsin.." I laugh
"Whatever I'm gonna go buy some cheese! Wanna come?"
"No no I'll just stay here" I say
"Okay well, if you need anything, you'll know where to find me!"
I stay on my bed for another hour or so and I look out the window and watch everyone getting ready for the holidays. I wish I had the happiness to go out. All I want is my entire family with me and a normal Christmas. Every single Christmas It's just me, the gems, and my dad. Everyone else gets together with BOTH of their parents and lives in a normal house with a normal family and has a normal Christmas. I now start to get bored and decide to go for a little walk. While I am walking I stumble upon my Dad
"Hey kiddo!" Dad says joyful as usual
"Hi.." I say trying not to look so depressed
"What's wrong? Are you sad because...
"Yeah."
"Well don't beat yourself up because of it! You'll still have a nice Christmas! We will be going to that huge part too! It'll be great!"
"YOU DON'T GET IT!" I yell and start to sob
"I'm afraid I do. Christmas with Rose was perfect!" He said with tears in his eyes
"It was?" I ask
"Yeah, she would decorate the entire house and always go around volunteering and donating to charities and on Christmas Day we would all sit by the fire and watch old Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate while wearing ugly sweaters even though it was hot outside. That Christmas is a Christmas I'll never forget. I remember saving up a whole bunch of money to buy her a heart locket with our picture in it. Before she left she...she held my hand and gave it back to me." He said. By now Dad was crying. He reached into his pocket and brung out the rose-pink locket. I took it out of his hands and I studied it carefully. It was beautiful. I opened up the locket and inside it was both of my parents. My mom's smile could light up the entire world. I handed it back to my dad but he didn't accept it.
"Take it." I said
"No. You keep it" he smiled
"Okay" I said and put it into my pocket gently and continued on my walk
I looked around the city watching everyone having fun
"Isn't this remarkable Steven? This world is full of so many possibilities. Each living thing has an entire unique experience." My mother's worlds float around my head. Words so sweet I can almost taste them. Like liquid treats or the perfectly perfect warm feeling. Like lemonade on a summer day or like hot sand warming up your feet. This feeling made me happy. I would be even happier if she was next to me. I'm almost to the big donut but I hear a voice. It's a familiar voice that I believe I've hear before
"Laceyrose?" I say
"Steven?" She asks
She runs over to me and gives me a big hug. Connie comes following behind her
"Oh hi Connie!" I say
"Hey Steven!" Connie waved
"How do you guys know each other?" I ask
"Oh we bumped into each other trying to find you so we decided to try and find you together! And yay we found you!" Says my cousin.
She looks the same yet so different. Her light brown hair bounces as she walks and her turquoise eyes twinkle with happiness. I wish I could be that happy right now.
"I can't wait for the Christmas party! It's going to be so fun! I'm finally going to try to socialize with others too!" Connie beams
"Oh yeah, about that I don't think I'm going." I say
"Why not?" Laceyrose asks and her entire face drains color. I feel bad for making her feel the same way I'm feeling
"I just can't okay!" I yell and run away
I don't want to be by anyone. I just want to be alone. All I want for Christmas is my mother but she's not here. I'm tired of spending Christmas without her, I'm tired of watching everyone else snuggle up with their families and have quality time, I'm tired of wanting to be with my mom constantly, and I'm tired at snapping at the people I care about. I walk over to the beach and sit by the shore. I sit and think about Uncle James and Aunt Amara and how they are doing. I feel so empty right now and I start to sob.
"All I want is my Mom." I cry
"And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me, loving you and loving being you." Her voice once again says
I start to think about what she said. Am I loving being myself right now? No. I'm not. My mother would want me to go to the party and be with my cousin and Aunt Amara and Uncle James. My mother would want me to put a smile onto everyone's face and she would want me to be happy.
"Maybe right now she's not with me but she is. She is with me. I need to go to that party and be with the people I love and care about. THEY are my family. That's exactly something mother would say." I say to myself
I reach into my pocket and pull out the locket and smile at her picture
"Yeah, that is what she would want." I say
I finally stop being so foolish and I stand up and go to the party. As I walk in everyone seems so surprised yet happy to see me. I've got to admit the party was really fun! Me and Laceyrose did karaoke! She is a fantastic singer! This is probably the best Christmas I've ever had! Maybe my mom can't be here with me physically but she is still here spiritually.
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This story is dedicated to anyone who has a family member they miss, anyone who ever feels depressed, or anyone who feels misunderstood. I just want to let you know that you are wanted and that I love you. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Xx