A/N: It's been a while since I wrote a funny-fic, and this is just something completely random. Came from a conversation with littlevamp. And before anyone criticizes, I am an iPhone user. I've had to play with my iPhone 4S a bit to write this. For those who don't know much about the new iPhone or know what Siri is, if you ask the phone what it's name is, it will tell you it's "Siri". This is purely for entertainment, the characters belong to Eidos and Crystal Dynamics. Siri belongs to Apple. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!
Kain: Will you turn that music off? It's hurting my ears.
Siri: Playing 'All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth'.
Kain: No, don't play music.
Siri: Sorry, I don't understand 'No, don't play music'.
Kain: Of course, you don't.
Siri: I suppose it's possible.
As you might've guessed, Kain received an iPhone 4S for Christmas. A gift his lieutenants chipped in and bought for him. Needless to say, he hates it. It's the worst Christmas gift ever. Not just because he's new to this popular technology, not just because it's autocorrect function and voice to text function is messing with his text messages (although, he's still learning how to text), but also because his lieutenants found great joy in this gadget arguing with him and messing with his head.
Kain: Oh, shut up already!
Siri: Now now.
Kain: Yes, now!
Siri: I guess you're not happy.
Kain: (huffs) No kidding.
Siri: I've found two childcare centres, none are close to you.
Kain: I should think so.
Siri: If you say so.
Raziel was standing behind Kain, listening to his father talking to his Christmas present. He was having a hard time not to laugh.
Raziel: Having fun there?
Kain: (groaning)
Siri: I couldn't find any brothels.
Raziel: Shame.
Siri: I'm sorry.
Kain: No, you're not. (turns to Raziel) Can you turn this piece of crap off?
Siri: Did I deserve that?
Raziel extended his arm over Kain's shoulder and switched the iPhone off. Kain looked up at him with an irritated look.
Kain: Smartass.
Raziel: (laughs) Merry Christmas.
Kain: (groans)
As Raziel was about to walk out of the room, he giggled, which gained his master's attention.
Raziel: By the way, my lord. Did you know that when you texted Vorador earlier, you told him you were gay?
Kain's eyes widened.
A/N: Hope you had a good laugh, as that was the point of this short funny-fic. If so, it makes me happy I've made people smile for Christmas and that you've found the torment that my iPhone gives me more amusing than I do. Merry Christmas.