Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they belong respectfully to Haruichi Furudate.
Warning: Themes of genderbending, heterosexual couple instead of yaoi for once and whatever, you know all that good stuff, some mild OOC-ness… If any of this bothers you then you have the option of not reading.
Music: "Shake that Brass" Amber of f(x)
A/N: I rewatched Samurai Champloo recently and one of the things that came up in the show a lot was the word "hooters". I found it so funny, immature I know but I had to use that word in a story somewhere, somehow and I've accepted that I'm trash. Please enjoy while I go sit in a corner, laugh at my bad jokes and think about what I've just done. ^^; PS have you read chapter 157 of Haikyuu! Yet? o_o
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Tsukishima Kei and Hinata Shouyou had gotten pretty used to the gaping stares and the occasional protest received from the opposing teams whenever they played a volleyball match. While Oikawa Tooru was widely accepted on the floor, considering her reputation and skill, coed teams were still an uncommon sight. Regardless, the two girls did their best not to let that knowledge faze them, but since starting the match against Shiratorizawa Academy, their patience was being put to the test in more ways than one...
"Oi, you're a girl right?" Shiratorizawa's number five suddenly asked from out of the blue.
Instantly, Tsukishima's eyes narrowed dangerously at the guy standing across from her on the other side of the net. "Excuse me?" She replied, gritting her teeth.
"It's just you barely have a set of hooters!" He exclaimed, gesturing to her chest and at that moment, all Tsukishima could hear was white noise despite the crowd gathered in the gym.
"Hooters?..." She murmured; her expression as blank as a sheet of paper.
"Yeah! I mean, you're cute, don't get me wrong but you're as straight as a plank!"
"Tendou, you should take that back..." His teammate, Shirabu warned but the taunting only seemed to increase.
"I'm just saying that Oikawa at least had some curves to look at when we were against Aobajousai last time!" Tendou commented. "And even if she is a girl, her volleyball skills are average, so she's not much to look at either way."
"You're going to regret saying that..." Shirabu sighed.
As the pair's conversation continued on, Tsukishima's fists clenched tightly in their wake. Even though Daichi told her not to let the other's taunting get the best of her, there was no way Tsukishima was going to allow such insults like those to fly over her head like that.
"Oi, Kageyama, I will only ask you this once in a blue moon, when the time comes, give me a good spike, got it?" Tsukishima turned, smiling at her fellow first year, expression intensely bright despite the banter directed towards her from the opposing team.
In any case, Kageyama quivered at the sight before feeling his body stiffen suddenly. She truly was a frightening girl, even more so than his former senpai, Oikawa had ever been. "S-sure..." He managed to reply, and for a moment he imagined Tsukishima, calculating in her mind the best ways to out due her prey in their game of volleyball.
"Give her a good one, alright?" Tanaka whispered next to him. "Otherwise, she may take that anger out on us."
Behind them, Asahi, Daichi and Nishinoya nodded their heads in swift agreement.
Funny enough, Kageyama didn't need to give Tsukishima the ball immediately once she was shuffled into the front; especially after watching the way she blocked number five's spike skillfully at the front of the net.
"Hello, I'm the very average, hooter's lacking girl from earlier." She suddenly said, glaring straight at Tendou. "Personal time difference might be able to trick the barbarian from my side, but it's useless on me. I'm very pleased to meet you." She added with a rather wicked smile and all around her, the Karasuno boys, Shouyou included choked back as they did their best to hold back their laughter.
"I thought you Karasuno first years were annoying, but you by far are the most annoying out of them all!" Tendou exclaimed, his brow twitching.
"Why thank you!" Tsukishima replied without a beat, her glee serving to fuel her opposition's irritation even further.
"And I take it back, you're not cute at all!"
"I never said I was cute, that alone was your observation." Tsukishima smirked.
While Tendou continued to growl though, Shirabu on the other hand shook his head with a sigh before letting a slight smile play across his lips. "I told you, Tendou-senpai that you were going to regret it."
"Shut up!"
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Up on the bleachers, Akiteru couldn't help but grip the safety railing tightly as he watched his beloved sister spout one biting word after another at Shiratorizawa's number five. She was doing well at holding her own against those brutes and yet from Akiteru's observation, she could only do so much to stand her ground. The bottom line was, from where he stood, number five was blatantly flirting with her! Akiteru was sure of it and the teenage boy's display of interest in his sister (among others) didn't settle well with him one bit as he narrowed his eyes at Karasuno's opposing team.
Next to him, Saeko couldn't help but take notice of the ominous air surrounding him as she looked back and forth between him and the game. "Wow, that brother complex of yours is intense…"
"Well it is his younger sister out there." Takinoue laughed nervously.
"I wouldn't blame him either." Shimada added.
Standing on the other side of Akiteru, not too far from Karasuno's cheering group, Kuroo glared dangerously at team Shiratorizawa as well, particularly player number five after seeing the way he challenged Tsukishima. On his right, Kenma watched Shouyou with interest while on his left Bokuto and Akaashi watched the way his expression morphed from serious to down right annoyed.
"Ne, Kuroo are you alright?" Bokuto asked carefully.
"Ah, I'm great! I mean it's not like I'm mad that one guy is down there flirting with Tsukki while I'm up here watching it happen. Oh no, in fact—"
"He's furious." Kenma finished his best friend's sentence, eyes focusing in on Shouyou as her spike was blocked once again. "Actually, I'm kind of pissed off too."
Bokuto whistled. "Well would you look at these two, huh Akaashi?"
"Even from where I stand, I can already feel the anger perforating off of them." He commented, staring back at the game. "It's kind of unsettling..."
"But its love!" Bokuto barked. "I mean Kenma is dating chibi-chan and Kuroo is head over heels for Tsukki so you shouldn't fault them for feeling the way they do."
"Bokuto, I never said that." Akaashi sighed.
"In any case, shouldn't you do something Kuroo?" Bokuto turned to his friend with a frown. "Unless you're okay with that guy walking all over Tsukki…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence Bokuto."
Watching the glaring contest between his two friends, Akaashi shook his head. "I didn't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I heard Shiratorizawa's number five ask why Tsukishima didn't have a set of hooters." He said; ending the short enmity between the two third years as they whipped their head's in his direction.
Once Akaashi got the words out, Kenma gave him a rather perplexed look, one that questioned his intentions of course however, seeing the reaction he got out of Kuroo in particular, Akaashi knew his work was done.
"Oi, Shiratorizawa's number five, keep your mitts off my Tsukki and prepare yourself for the volleyball fight of your life, you hear me!" Kuroo suddenly roared, taking everyone around him by surprise.
Next to him, Kenma stared wide eyed, his mouth gaping open. "W—when did you switch personalities with Yamamoto?"
"That doesn't matter! I'm not letting number five get away with insulting Tsukki like that!" Kuroo hissed at Kenma, the second year nodding his head swiftly in agreement.
"There's more of them!?" A voice shouted and the group couldn't help but turn to the source only to see a blond haired male staring at them like he'd seen a ghost.
It took some time, but as Kuroo squinted his eyes and took in the now raging man's features, something clicked in his mind and he snapped his fingers a second later. "He looks a little like Tsukki!"
"A relative perhaps?"
"He looks too young to be her dad so that means he's her brother!"
"Maybe?"
"Kuroo, try to be careful with what you say." Kenma tried to urge him but it seemed his warning fell on deaf ears.
"Hey there! You must be my future brother in-law, right?"
And Kenma couldn't help but bow his head low in disappointment as Kuroo grinned from ear to ear.
A/N: And there we have it.