Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain

My life, my love, my drive, it came from

Pain

You made me a believer

~Believer - Imagine Dragons~

Sometimes when she was roaming around the ship like a ghost late in the night, she'd pass by the Pathfinder's quarters and hear very quiet yet distinct sniffles. Sometimes, she forgot the new Pathfinder was not the gruff, antisocial man that she was accustomed to.

She stilled a moment, wondering if she should check up on her. After all, she'd just lost her father.

Would she even welcome my presence?

Thinking better of it, she turned and made her way back to the bio lab. It was only recently that she had admitted to a certain level of bitterness at Ryder's ascension to the title of Pathfinder. She winced at the memory. She had felt angry and betrayed at the sudden turn of events, and had ended up lashing out at Ryder. Ryder's only sin had been trying to talk to her.

"I know it's not the same, but I'm a good listener," she offered kindly.

Her annoyance flared at her generosity. Who was she to offer? She was just the Pathfinder's daughter. She had no business sticking her nose in her life.

"I hope you're as good at being Pathfinder," she spat out. As soon as the words left her mouth, she couldn't stop the onslaught of bitterness. "I said I wouldn't get in the way. I meant it. But, I prepped for years as your father's second, then he chooses you? An untrained Pathfinder and all this mess to fix?" She saw Ryder's eye twitch but refused to acknowledge that perhaps she had gone too far. "The hell was he thinking?"

"Is this going to be a problem, Cora?" Ryder ground out, barely able to hide her offense.

"I don't want a rival." She reigned in her frustration. It wasn't Ryder's fault that Alec didn't choose her. "Just answers."

No, it wasn't Ryder's fault. It was hers.

She was still sorting out her thoughts and feelings, but had done so enough to recognize that Ryder hadn't deserved her outburst. She thought back to the woman crying alone in her room, and she made her decision. She marched back to Ryder's room and stood in front of the door.

"SAM, if she's awake, could you ask the Pathfinder if she would be averse to company?" After a moment's pause, she added: "Umm, I promise I'll be civil. I just want to talk… casually. If she's up to it."

She stood awkwardly outside as SAM undoubtedly relayed her message. If Ryder refused her company, she'd understand. She wouldn't push it.

To her surprise, the door slid open in admittance. She hesitated before stepping inside, eyes taking in the grandiose cabin. She'd expected to see Ryder on the spacious bed, prepared to settle in for the night, but the bed was empty and untouched. Instead, she found her sitting at her terminal, donned in full Initiative uniform. She eyed Cora carefully, probably curious to see what insults she would throw out. If so, she didn't blame her for being cautious.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them as she approached her. "May I?" Cora gestured at the couch behind where she sat.

Ryder answered with a slight nod and a weak smile, accentuating the dark shadows under her swollen violet eyes— so similar to her father's. "Can't sleep?" Ryder asked quietly.

"Too much to think about. My brain won't shut down. You?"

"Same."

With such a closed statement, Cora couldn't think of anything else to say. Except…

"Look, Ryder…" She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. For the way I acted towards you that day. It was uncalled for—"

"No," she interrupted with a ferocity that shocked Cora. "It was well-deserved. And you were right." She looked down at her hands on her lap, thumbs fidgeting. "I'm ill-equipped to be Pathfinder."

Cora shook her head. "Don't say that. While it's true that you aren't prepared for this role, it's not your fault. How can it be? You didn't ask for any of this to happen. I had no right to attack you the way I did."

Ryder looked up from her hands to gaze at Cora. "It's okay—"

"No," she insisted. "No, it wasn't. It was childish and it was wrong. I'm sorry." Cora met her eyes, hoping that she could see her sincerity. After a tense silence, Ryder conceded and nodded. Cora ran her fingers through her hair in relief. One less thing on her mind, millions more to sort through.

"What are you thinking about?" Ryder asked.

Such a simple question. If only the answer were as simple.

"It's…" Cora shook her head and waved the query away. "It's nothing."

"Cora," she voiced. Her tone told her that she wasn't going to budge until she got what she wanted. "I told you— I'm a good listener, if nothing else." She punctuated the sentiment with a soft lopsided smile.

"I've just been thinking about what I'm lacking that Alec overlooked me." Ryder frowned at her admission. "I know, I know. It's stupid."

Ryder looked past over her shoulder, deep in thought. "Hey, Cora?"

"Hmm?"

"Did Alec ever say anything? About me and Scott?"

Cora blinked. Where was she going with this? Also, 'Alec'? Who calls their father by name?

She cleared her throat. "No, not much. Actually, I don't mean to, uhh, kick you when you're down or anything, but the first time I met you and your brother was the first time he ever mentioned any family." She left the fact that that was also the day they went into cryo go unsaid.

Ryder wasn't fazed by her answer. "Point is, the way you talk about him… that's something Scott and I could never relate to. He never gave us the light of day— never reached out." She met Cora's gaze. "But he connected with you in a way that he refused to with his own children."

"If you're trying to make me feel bad, it's working," Cora mused.

Ryder laughed, causing Cora to cock an eyebrow. Here she was, telling her that her father neglected her and her brother and she was laughing. What was wrong with this girl?

"Ummm…" Cora voiced, unsure of what she should say.

"Honest to God, that wasn't my intention. I only meant— look, Alec Ryder took an interest in you. And from what you've told me, you two had a productive, functional relationship. That alone should tell you how highly he thought of you." She offered her a warm smile. "I can't tell you why he did what he did, but know that none of this was a result of your self-perceived incompetence."

Cora wasn't sure when it happened, but suddenly, she was crying. She felt the urge to look at the ceiling, though she couldn't parse out why.

"I promise you, it's not raining in here," Ryder added with a sad smile, almost like she knew what she was thinking.

Her response shocked Cora to laughter, and she pulled herself together, wiping her face. "Thank you, Ryder."

She waved it away. "Nah…"

"No, really. Thank you. I needed this." She got up to leave, and as she neared the door, a thought crossed her mind.

"Ryder?"

"Hmm?"

"How's your brother? You went to see him yesterday, didn't you?"

Ryder's eyes lost what little warmth was left in them, and Cora found herself lost in the endless void that replaced it. That was answer enough.

"You know, you can always talk to me. I know I wasn't quite… available before. But I am now, thanks to you. If I can return the favor…"

"You'll be the first I talk to." She finished. Cora nodded. "Good night, Cora."

"Night, Pathfinder. Get some rest."

"Hmmm."

As Cora laid down on her cot back in the bio lab, she thought back to Ryder's silent cries, the purple shadows under her eyes, the pristine state of the bed. The empty look whenever her family was brought up and her underlying self-deprecation. "You'll be the first I talk to," she'd said. Cora knew better.

No, I won't. Not at the rate she's going. But I'll be there when she's ready. Till then, I'll be her second.