The Laugh is on You, Touga
By Magic Cat
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the joke. But the story is mine.
Also if you enjoy this story of Usagi as a toddler, I might do a teenage version. Well see.
Late in the afternoon. Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya were walking back to their dorm when they came across a little girl of about three years old looking very puzzled.
"Konbanwa little one. Are you lost." Utena asked her.
The little child looked up at her and nodded. "Hai. I can't sweem to find my pwace to sweep." she responded shyly.
Utena looked at the slip of paper that the little girl had given her and smiled. "Here...Anthy, and I will take you too you dorm." She gently picked her up and started walking towards the kindergarten area of the Ohtori Campus.
They were half way there when they ran in to Touga Kiryuu, and his sister Nanami.
"Well, if it isn't the Prince and Princess of Ohtori." Nanami said coldly. Glaring at Utena, who was rolling her eyes, well used to her hostility.
"Konbanwa...Nanami, Touga." she answered.
Touga Kiryuu put on his best lady killer smile, and said "Ah Utena. What a pleasure too run in to you. Nanami and I were just on our way too invite you and Anthy to a party that we are hosting."
Utena rolled her eyes and replied "Oh. That sounds nice. Arigato for inviting us."
Touga smiled back at her and he and Nanami were about to leave when he noticed the little girl in Utena's arms.
"And who is this little princess?" he asked. She looked up at and answered "I'm Sewenity Tsuki."
Touga and Nanami both smiled at the little girl. She was just too sweet and cute for words. With her big bright sapphire eyes, and her hair done up in buns on either side of her head. She then yawned and buried her face in to Utena's shoulder. "I'm sweepy." she murmured causing the hearts of all those present to melt, and then she fell asleep.
"Well...I guess that I had better take her back to her dorm." And with that she and Anthy headed off again.
When they got there a woman with green/black hair and garnet eyes greeted them. Who after seeing whom they were bringing, rushed up and thanked them for bringing the child back.
"Arigato. I have been frantic with worry, when I couldn't find Serenity in her crib. She is so curious, and full of mischief at times." the woman said while Utena followed her up the stairs to Serenity's room. "Oh. I'm so sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Watashi wa Setsuna Meioh." she said while bowing.
Utena and Anthy returned the bow and introduced themselves. Setsuna invited them to tea next weekend, which they accepted. On the way out the door they ran in to Touga again, only this time he was trying to pick up Utena for a date. Which she declined. Touga just shrugged his shoulders and said that he wouldn't give up on her, and sauntered off.
"I swear that guy is a Playboy." Utena grumbled. "Well…it was nice meeting you and Serenity. Miss Meioh." And then both she and Anthy started to head off for their dorm. Setsuna closed the kindergarten's door, and then headed up the stairs for her room. Never noticing the tiny figure near the opened bedroom door. The bright blue eyes shining with mischief.
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The next day Touga was walking down the school's hallway with a somewhat perplexed/and annoyed look on his face. All day the students of Ohtori had been snickering and or giggling whenever they saw him. He knew that something was going on and that he was the center of a very big joke.
"Perhaps Mr. Chairman can shed some light on the subject." He muttered to himself.
When he reached the school's planetarium he found Akio Ohtori talking to Utena Tenjou. While looking at the stars and planets from the projector.
"Excuse me, Mr. Chairman. Demo may I have a word with you?" he asked Akio.
Akio looked at Touga and nodded his head. "Of course Touga, I was expecting you." He replied. He excused himself and walked toward Touga who was waiting patiently.
"I know why you are here Touga, and I have sent for the culprit. I am also very curious about the joke that is supposedly based on you."
Just then the elevator door binged open and there stood Setsuna holding Serenity in her arms. Setsuna was clearly torn between amusement and embarrassment over what her Hime had done.
"Good afternoon. Mr. Chairman, Mr. Kiryuu, and Miss. Tenjou. I have brought my young charge to explain what has been going on today at school." She looked down at Serenity and urged her to speak.
Serenity looked at the three adults who were looking at her with looks of bewilderment on their faces. "I owerheard what Utena-chan had said before she left last night and wandered what it meant. So I went a visited a wery good fiend of mine and asked him. He took out a paper clipping that his bwother had cut out for him when he had asked the swame guestin."
She stopped when she noticed Akio and Touga were looking at Utena, who was looking rather sheepish. She shrugged and continued. "This worning, I got up and wade my way to the older boys and girls and asked them my qwestion."
Akio knelt down in front of the little toddler and smiled while asking: "What question?"
Serenity looked at smiled back. Thinking that he was going to finally give her the answer and told him.
"What's a pwayboy?"
Akio's shoulders shook with laughter, 'So that's what is going on.' He thought to himself while chuckling. He noticed that Utena's face was red from trying to surpress her own laughter. While Touga looked rather pale.
He looked up at Setsuna who was also trying to supress her laughter and asked Serenity: "May I see your friends newspaper clipping.?"
She nodded her head and showed it to him. Akio, Touga, and Utena. All read the clipping, and then both Akio and Utena exploded in to laughter. While Touga looked like he wanted to go and hide under a rock. The joke went something like this.
~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mystery Solved
It seems that when the good Lord was making the world, he called man aside and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified, but the Creator refused to budge.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him 20 years. "But I don't need 20 years," said the monkey. "Ten years is plenty." Man spoke up and said: "May I have the other 10 years?" The monkey agreed.
The Lord called on the lion and also gave him 20 years. The lion, too, wanted only 10. Again, Man spoke up. "May I have the other 10 years?" "Of course," said the lion.
Then came the donkey, who was also given 20 years. Like the others, 10 years was enough for him. Man again asked for the spare 10 years, and he got them.
This explains why Man has 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it and 10 years of making a jackass out of himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Akio, Utena, and Setsuna were finally able to get themselves under control, (which was about five minutes or so.) And Touga, who was kept from hanging himself, and was now currently, sedated. Serenity asked her question again.
"Well? What's a Pwayboy?"
This led to another explosion of laughter, and the promise that when she was a little older they would tell her.
Ten years have passed and they still haven't gotten around to telling her. Mostly because they still laugh whenever they remember it.
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Well. I hope that you enjoy this fic. Let me know if you think that it would make a great sequel. Only next time it would have happened when she is a teenager. Sincerely Magic Cat. P.S. I am currently suffering from writer's block on Avenging Angel. This is just my way of saying sorry for the delay.