High King Fluffy, Er, Peter
AN: Wrote this when i was feeling bored and random. Enjoy!
It all started when Peter, Lucy, Becca, and I were messing around with magic, just seeing what we could do. We'd already accidentally turned a table back into its original form – a tree. I decided to try the Ancient Word for 'cat', just to see what it would do. Maybe we would get a downpour of lovable, furry kittens.
I looked at Peter, to see him chuckling at the spurt of water that was now falling out of the balcony, soaking Ed as he walked below. He looked up and swore profusely at Peter, who roared with laughter as he shut off the flow of water.
I spoke the Word, still watching him. "Eroweni."
Peter yelped and there was a flash of light, and, standing exactly where Peter had been previously, was a cat. The cat had sawdust colored fur, and blue eyes – just like Peter.
Everyone froze.
"Did you just turn your boyfriend into a cat?" Becca asked tentatively.
"He's cute!" Lucy exclaimed.
I stared down at Peter, the cat. He was kind of adorable. He blinked rapidly for a minute, and then looked down at himself. He leaped about a foot in the air and yowled, then covered his mouth with his paws. I'm not kidding, he did. Of course, he fell flat on his face, cats not being made for standing on two legs. I started to laugh. He was cute. If fluffy, blonde, blue-eyed cats can glare threateningly and stalk off regally, Peter did. I took two steps forward, bent down, and picked him up. He glowered at me, looking absolutely ridiculous.
"I think I'll call you Fluffy," I said, making Peter meow angrily and Becca and Lucy nearly fall over from laughter. He growled and snapped at my fingers, catching one in his teeth, and biting down hard. It didn't faze me. Peter let go of me, and continued to stare at me with resentful eyes, as though to say "I blame you."
I scratched him under the chin and he purred, then caught himself and shook his head and attempted to scowl at me. He only succeeded in looking cuter.
"High King Fluffy, Sir Mousebane, Emperor Kitty of Cair Paravel, Keeper of The Seal of Catnip, Claw of Narnia, I offer my sword and my services to you, noble cat," I teased while Peter tried very hard to ignore me and look royal. He failed, miserably. He was just too sweet.
"What're we gonna tell Su and Ed?" Becca asked.
"Don't know," I answered, turning back to Peter. "What say you, High King Fluffy?"
He meowed, and then worked his jaw, seeming to concentrate. Then he spoke, his voice as deep and manly as it had been when he was an 18-year-old guy. "I don't know and I don't care, I just want out!" I nearly dropped him.
"It talks!" Becca exclaimed, laughing at my reaction.
"'It?'" Peter asked scathingly. "I am not an 'it'!"
"No, you're a cat, High King Fluffy," I said patronizingly.
"Shut up," he muttered, turning away, and looking off into the distance with an aura of aloofness.
"Oh, so now you're too good for us, huh?"
"I've always been too good for you."
"Yeah, right," I answered sarcastically. High King Fluffy commenced pouting, if that's even possible to do as a cat.
"C'mon guys. We need to take his Royal Furriness to his other siblings. This oughta be fun."
I put Peter up on my shoulder, and he curled up and purred in my ear. I looked at him. "You look absolutely ridiculous. You know that right?"
Peter stopped purring.
"Maybe if we tried the word for 'man' in Anceint Narnian . . . " Becca suggested.
"Sure," I answered and picked Peter up and set him on the floor. "Malitosi."
There was a yowl, and, as before, a brilliant flash of light and Peter stood before us. He frowned at me and shook his head.
"Really, Alex? Really? A cat?"
Fin.