Scrotum Ball - Episode 1: Poker Night at the Condom Tree

It was a cold evening, the cool breeze and light drizzly rain made it a peaceful evening, but one most people would like to spend inside. Four men wait around a table expecting a fifth, Boogerman, Commander Video, Waluigi and JM were waiting to play poker.

Boogerman: "What's taking him so long!"
Commander Video:"Probably fapping."
Boogerman: "Yup!"
JM: "Come on, this is a waste of my time, I could be playing Team Fortress 2!"
Boogerman: "Gee calm down there."

A squeak came from the door, It was Caleb.

Caleb: "Hey everybody, sorry I'm late, I was in the middle of a really faggoty traffic jam, but hey, I made it to the Condom Tree so that's all good!"
JM: "Weird huh, playing poker inside a hollowed out tree with a Condom on the top".
Caleb: "Tell me about it."
Waluigi: "Wahahaha! Time to play poker, bitches!"
Caleb: "Okay, okay settle down there, I'm on my way."
Boogerman: "Woo, look at that smoking hot card dealer!"
JM: "Damn girl!"
Karina: "I will be your card dealer tonight, My name is Karina, I hope you enjoy your game tonight!"
JM: "Shit man, she's hot!"
Caleb: "Haha yup, but she's way out of your league bro."
JM: "Shut up fag."
Boogerman: "Enough you two, let's play the game!"

Just as the cards and chips were being dealt, something strange happened, the lights went out, then suddenly the hot card dealer let out a massive scream! The tension in the room rose as someone sabotaged their peaceful evening!

Devlin Lee: "Hello gay faggots, it is I, Devlin Lee who is on a hunt for the girl with the juiciest cunt! Karina seems like a worthy candidate!"
Caleb: "Aw what the hell man, we could easily destroy you in a fight, Boogerman could just burp on your face and your head would fly off!"
Devlin Lee: "That's where you're wrong, I learnt the secret art of Fag-Jitzu and here's my first move, I like to call it GTFO! Goodbye cunts, my boyfriend who does steroids could destroy all you faggots in a duel!"
Boogerman: "I think someone needs to be taught a lesson, little fags like you should stay at home and fap over gay porn, not interfere with a Gentlemans Fivesome, also known as Texas Hold'em Poker!"
Devlin Lee: "Big words, even bigger anus, from all the poop gas that violently erupts from there I'm not too surprised... You're worthless, even I, the gayest faggot you'll ever meet would not destroy your asshole."
Boogerman: "That's it! I've had it with you!"

Boogerman violently charged at the gay cunt, Devlin swiftly dodged then delivered a powerful blow to the balls... Literally. Like dead fucking serious, he's fucking sucking him off.
Boogerman: "Ahh what the hell! You ripped my green suit, and now you're... Sucking my balls!"
JM: "Uh, what the actual fuck just happened?"

Devlin Lee then bit extremely hard on Boogermans tender ballsack. Boogerman screamed out in agony! He will now never be able to reproduce, his testicles and ballsack fell to the floor, and with it his hopes of having a family.

Devlin Lee: "Ah, not a big loss ey? You're mutated genetics shouldn't spread so I did the world a massive favour in the long run."
Boogerman: "AHHH! I'M GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU!"
Devlin Lee: "This is the time I make a tactical retreat, and my boyfriend Juan Jr has taken care of the one you call Karina, If you want her back then good luck with that, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BURN IN THIS TREE!"

Devlin Lee used went out the front exit, and gave orders to a mysterious figure in the doorway. Then fire started spreading, a person in red was holding a flamethrower, skipping around happily while destroying this Vintage Poker house. Commander Video ran for his life leaving a rainbow trail behind him, the pyromaniac was intrigued and started chasing after him, right out of the building.

Caleb: "Follow Commander Video guys! We need to get out of here or we're all toast!"
Boogerman: "I can... hardly... walk... Leave me here and save yourselves!"
JM: "How generic, the save yourselves bullshit, we all know you're not that selfless, we're going to help you out of here so you can get your revenge on that detestable cunt who bit of your ballsack!"

The three valiant friends tried their hardest to get Boogerman out to safety. He used JM and Caleb's shoulders to help him walk around. While Waluigi was doing his hardest to try and stop the fire from spreading. Meanwhile outside, Commander Video and the Fire-Loving Fuckface were outside of the tree. Commander Video broke the flamethrower with one kick and then the Pyro broke a mailbox and made it his Postal Pummeler! He attacked Commander Video with it and seemed enraged at the loss of his tool of destruction!

Commander Video: "Woah easy there... Can't we just talk this out like gentlemen?"
Scout: "Oh crap... What's the Pyro doing here? "
Commander Video: "You know this guy?"
Scout: "You bet my baseball bat I do! This guy is a heartless destroyer of lives man! We gotta get him back in Dick Diving Dungeon, where he must have escaped from!"
Commander Video: "Alright let's finish this guys reign of terror!"

Scout got out his bat and Commander Video got out his fists and tried to knock him out, then the Pyro got his hands like he was about to do a Kamehameha but instead he did a mini fire hadoken which burned the scout to a crisp and killed him.

Commander Video: "How could you be so heartless? Do you have any awareness of what's happening?"

The Pyro shrugged his shoulders then got a Flare Gun of his back and fired it, It was a direct it and it burned Commander Video's torso! He was on the floor in pain!
Meanwhile back in the Condom Tree, JM, Caleb, Boogerman and Waluigi were in a dire situation! Fire was surrounding the bravehearted Waluigi who was trying to buy time for Boogerman and his two rescuers to get to safety, unfortunately things weren't going well for them either. The tree was collapsing around them, and bits were falling above their heads.

Caleb: "JM, you and Boogerman continue to the exit, I have to help my friend Waluigi!"
JM: "Alright then, good luck."
Boogerman: "What are you waiting for.. We have to keep up the pace JM"
JM: "Oh okay, sorry"

Caleb dashed over to where Waluigi was, both of them were finding it hard to breathe but Caleb had an ace up his sleeve. Literally. He was going to cheat in poker with it. Waluigi panicked as the fire came ever closer. Then Waluigi reached down his pockets and felt something, something that could help save both Waluigi and Caleb from their certain doom! He unzipped his pants and did a massive cumshot! It cleared a path in the fearsome fire and he quickly sprinted over to where a cum-covered Caleb was standing.

Caleb: "WHAT THE FUCK, I'M COVERED IN JIZZ! WHAT THE FUCK!"
Waluigi: "Dude shut up, we have more important things to worry about, like this fucking building falling down on our heads, LET'S GO"
Caleb: "But what will the others think!"
Waluigi: "They won't give a shit, they only care if you're alive!"
Caleb: "Keep thinking that man, keep thinking that"
Waluigi: "DUDE FUCKING MOVE WE HAVE NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT STUPID SHIT!"

Waluigi grabbed Caleb's hand and rushed over to the nearest exit, then the unthinkable happened a piece of rubble hit Waluigi in the back of the head.

Caleb: "NOO! Dude are you okay, oh god this is all my fault for all those stupid comments I was making! There's blood, this doesn't look good... Hopefully he's just passed out..."

Caleb dragged Waluigis limp lifeless body across the floor, hoping to get him out to the safety of the outside, Can our hero safely maneuver him and Waluigi outside, How will Commander Video cope against the crazy Pyromaniac and will JM and Boogerman make it out in time, all these answers and more will be revealed in the next Scrotum Ball!