Sword and Sheath: A Mai x Zuko Fic

Chapter 1: The Talk

The tea shop had been closed for more than an hour, but they were still in the process of cleaning up. Uncle Iroh had just finished sweeping loose tea leaves out of the kitchen, and Zuko had finished wiping down the tables and chairs. Normally, he would hate this, having to work at some dingy tea shop, serving a bunch of commoners. But tonight, he was too nervous to hate anything. He found his mind buzzing and his legs restless. He couldn't find enough to do.

"It's almost time, isn't it?" Uncle Iroh asked him, an impish grin on his face.

"Yes," Zuko replied, without turning around. "Almost time." Almost time for his date with Jin. He didn't know if he wanted to go out with the girl or not, but his Uncle had been insistent. 'Get out, live a little,' he had said. 'You have to enjoy your life more.'

So now, here he was, mere minutes away from Jin arriving outside the tea shop, expecting to have a wonderful, outstanding date with Zuko. Or Li, as she knew him. It didn't matter who she thought he was though; he was nervous either way.

Uncle Iroh sighed as he set the broom back in the closet and sat down on a chair across from Zuko. Zuko put his rag down, and sat down with him. They said nothing for a while, and Zuko was glad of that. But of course, Uncle Iroh had to ruin that for him.

"So, Zuko, are you excited?"

"I guess," Zuko said, pointedly staring at the ground.

"I'm sure you and this Jin will have much, much fun together on your date," he said, closing his eyes and smiling. Zuko said nothing. "Try to see the bright side, Zuko. You are going out for a night on the town with a very pretty girl," he said. Still, Zuko didn't cheer up.

With a heavy sigh, Iroh sat forward in his chair. Zuko was expecting his uncle to say more about enjoying his life, about letting go of negativity, about choosing his own destiny. Something like that. What he actually said took Zuko completely by surprise.

"Have you ever been given…the talk…before…?" Iroh asked him.

Zuko's head snapped up. "What?" he asked, somewhat dumbfounded. "What talk?"

"You know…the talk…" The way Uncle Iroh said it, Zuko was beginning to realize just what he was hinting at. Zuko jumped up from his seat, the chair falling to the ground.

"I'm not hearing this," Zuko said, and tried to storm into the back room. Uncle Iroh grabbed his wrist, however, and pulled him back down into the chair beside him. Great, now he was even closer to his uncle.

"Zuko, this is important. Especially if you're going out on a date…"

"I don't even want to go out on a date!" Zuko shouted. "I would rather just sit at home and do nothing! You're the one who wanted me to start dating!"

"Yes, that is true," Iroh said, nodding, "but this had to happen at some point or another. It's best that we just get it over with now."

Zuko sighed in defeat. He knew that his uncle wasn't going to let the issue drop, and he knew that he would just have to grin and bear it. Well, maybe not grin. He would scowl at the floor the whole time…but he would listen. He owed his uncle that much.

"Now Zuko…" Uncle Iroh began, not quite sure where to start. "Zuko…when a man enters his sixteenth year and he begins dating…" Uncle Iroh trailed off. That might not be the best place to start. "Zuko," he tried again, "when you are with Jin…or any girl for that matter…although I guess she should really rather be called a young woman–"

Zuko groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Listen to me," Uncle Iroh said, putting a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Zuko, at your age, many men start to feel…certain desires towards certain people. When you are out with Jin tonight, and either of you start to feel these certain desires–"

"We won't!" Zuko shouted. "Or…I won't. We don't need to be having this talk." But with another pat on the shoulder from his uncle, Zuko put his head back in his hands and started listening to his awkward, unrehearsed speech again.

"Just let me finish," Iroh told him. "Now, when you feel these certain desires…"

"You mean sex," Zuko said, sighing and leaning back against the table. "That's what this is all about. You want to talk to me about sex and how to resist it, is that it?"

"Well, sort of… But I was not actually going to tell you to resist it. Of course, if you want to that is fine with me. I have absolutely no problem with that. But I was actually going to tell you more about the actual…leading up to…the mechanics…no that's not the right word."

"Can we please get on with it?" Zuko asked. "My date's going to be here any minute." Right…his date. Anything to get out of this awkward talk.

"So, sex. It's a physical act…but it can also be very emotional. Sometimes, people have sex when they aren't ready. And sometimes, people have sex when they are ready but are married. Now I'm not saying that you have to be married…" Iroh sighed. "This isn't going well, is it?" he asked his nephew.

"Not in the slightest," Zuko said.

"But you are learning, right?" Uncle Iroh asked hopefully.

"Sure. Why not."

"Okay, right. Sex. So, normally when two people have these certain desires, they will give hints as to what they want. Sometimes it's lingering touches, or sometimes they will make suggestive comments. Rarely will they outright tell you; it's more like an invitation that you have to decipher. But the signals are always clear; a smile, a lingering touch, a long kiss. A very long kiss…"

"Uncle…" Zuko said, heat rising to his face. He felt so embarrassed that he was convinced his entire body was beet red by now.

"The point is, you must know when someone wants to…do it…with you and when someone doesn't. This is the first thing: the matter of consent. If someone says no, they mean no."

"I'm well aware of that, Uncle! I'm not stupid!"

"It has nothing to do with you being stupid. All I'm saying is that I know many men who didn't exactly…take no for an answer."

Zuko let sink in what he was saying. He looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling very sick to his stomach. He couldn't say anything to that. So he just waited in solemn, awkward silence for his uncle to continue his speech.

"I'm sure you're not like them," Uncle Iroh said to him, giving him another pat on the shoulder. He looked down at the ground, too, and continued talking to Zuko. "If you have consent down, we can begin with the next thing: mechanics."

"I take it you don't mean actually machinery," Zuko mumbled.

Uncle Iroh gave a slight chuckle and said, "No. Not machinery. I'm going to tell you about…anatomy. You see Zuko…well, I'm sure you know enough about your own body–"

"Uncle! For spirit's sake!"

"So you should know that…when a young man gets excited, they get…a certain hardness in the south…"

"Please kill me now!" Zuko whimpered, as if some great spirit would grant him that request.

"Women, on the other hand, have…a flower. A flower with petals that open up. When this flower opens up, the flower…becomes moist–"

"Please kill me!"

"But there is the matter of foreplay…" Iroh mumbled under his breath. Zuko still heard it, though. He just prayed that his Uncle wouldn't talk to him about that. This conversation was already uncomfortable. Any more and he might just jump into a volcano.

"Well, good talk!" Zuko said, jumping up out of his seat. Again, his uncle grabbed him and sat him down next to him.

"I'll make it short, how's that?" Iroh asked him.

"Why didn't you do that to begin with?" Zuko asked him. It took all his willpower not to bang his head into the table, or worse, set something on fire.

"Okay, here are the basics. Pregnancy is caused by the little death, but only when the…uh…the phallus…is inside the…petals. Proper stimulus is needed before any penetration can occur. And most importantly, both of you have to be willing and ready. If you are not ready, my nephew…well, that's a relief to me." Iroh felt like he needed a gallon of soothing tea after what he had just said, but there was none around. As soon as he got back to their apartment, he'd fix that.

"Great. Gotta go, now!" Zuko said, racing back to the kitchen. Anything…anything!…to get what his uncle had said out of his head.

"Wait!" Iroh called after him.

"What?" Zuko demanded angrily. "This better not be about…foreplay…" He whispered the word, too embarrassed to say it.

"No, no, nothing like that." His uncle pulled a comb out of his sleeve, smiling at his nephew. "Let me do your hair."

Zuko gawked. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. I've even got some hair gel to make it sleek and shiny." He pulled his nephew back over to the chair. "Let's begin, shall we?"

I'm sorry I haven't been updating my stories very much. I've been busy trying to get my degree. But I wrote this entire twenty-nine chapter story about Mai and Zuko and even as I post this first chapter, the story is completely finished. So except frequent updates in this story. I will be posting at least one chapter a week.

Thank you for reading, and please feel free to like and leave a review!