Title: Not Nearly Perfect
Author: Morgan le Fay3 (aka. Ashley)
Email: love2hateme4eva@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: You know the deal people. Not mine, yeah no problem, just
continue to rub it in my face. I mean its not like i'm Joss...I have
feelings people!!!!
That little essay like answer Buffy said was from some site i found a while
back, but i lost the link so.....woops....
Rating: up to NC17
Type: Romance/Drama/Mystery i dunno, read and find out
Author's Notes: This is my first time posting, i just registered a couple
of days ago. This fic is something i've been working on for a while...kind
of a real long while...i've already sent most of it out to the yahoo
groups, im expecting it to be finished by the end of the week...hopefully.
While this is not my first fic, this is the first fic i've actually
committed to (my first story is incomplete as of now). I didn't realize how
tedious and slow the writing process could be, as well as rewarding. I
congratulate all the authors who are working on stories, because it takes
so much dedication and commitment. Writing stories is still very new to me,
so to me this is a kind of mediocre attempt at writing, but i figure that
the best way to get better is to keep on writing, so....here ya go!
"Bye Uncle Giles!" Buffy Summers called out as she stumbled out of the door, on her way to school. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the perfect outfit. Most of her stuff hadn't arrived at the new house yet. She was wearing a sky blue skirt that casually draped over her ankles, and had two long slits on both sides. Under her dark blue jean jacket, she wore a creamy white, spaghetti strap top. Her almost shimmering golden, hair was piled on top of her head, in a messy bun. A few strands fell out of place, and were left to dance with the wind upon her almost perfectly placed cheekbones.
People were always telling her how beautiful she was. When she went to Ireland during the summers, she was known throughout the town as 'Brinneall a' àiteag' 'Beautiful and shy.' She wasn't a shy person at all. With her friends she was the center of attention, outgoing and fun, but she distrusted certain people, especially guys. She was beautiful and she knew it, but she wasn't cocky, she even looked upon her beauty as a curse at times. She didn't date because guys took one look at her and saw 'brinneall' 'a beautiful lady,' and nothing more.
'Sunnydale,'she thought,'definitely not LA! but it's kinda nice.'
The ringing of a loud bell brought her away from her thoughts. "Damn, i'm gonna be late!" she shouted, starting at a run toward the steps of Sunnydale High.
"So whats was up with little miss.i'm trying way too hard to be a bad girl?" Buffy asked Cordy at lunch.
It turned out that Cordy and her had all their periods except 2 together, and they were finding that they were amazing compatible friends.
Cordy laughed at Buffy's name for Willow. She also realized that she laughed at a lot of things Buffy said. She was funny, stylish, smart, most definitely NOT fake, and the kind of friend Cordy missed having. "We kind of used to be...friends. Scratch that, we were actually best friends. Things happened and she decided to try getting high and mighty. So I decided to try high and mighty right back, and of course I was better at it than she." Buffy nodded beginning to understand where this story was going.
"In junior high we were both really popular, and it was the same freshman year, except she started to up the stakes. She was totally outta control, and she wanted to crush me. Totally destroy everything that was me. I wouldn't let her. I didn't let her, and in the process I crushed her. Ironic huh? I didn't mean to, I never had any intention to hurt her, because she was the only REAL friend I had ever had. Everyone else was too fake; they weren't friends. Suddenly I was this cold hearted ruthless bitch in everyone's eyes, and that made me cool."
"Drama of the worse kind," Buffy said sympathetically. Cordy smiled almost bitterly.
She didn't know why she needed Buffy to know the whole story, but she did know that she didn't want Buffy thinking she was like the rest of her clique. " I just don't get why she started the whole high and mighty routine. When did she start hating you so much?" Buffy asked.
Once the question was out of her mouth Buffy regretted asking it. Cordy looked like she could break down any moment. Not on the outside of course, pain like that cuts too deep. You have to really look into someone's eyes to catch that kind of pain and hurt. Buffy knew all to well about the work it took to keep smiling when you were dieing on the inside. She still did it now.
Cordy turned her head to the other side of the cafeteria. She looked at her usual table, filled up with all the popular people. One chair was empty, and that was hers. She had told her clique she wouldn't be sitting with them today. No one would question her of course, but she knew she'd have explaining to do later, or people would talk.
She pointed to a guy with brown hair and a goofy smile on his face. He was wearing khaki pants and a green shirt. Everything about him screamed popular and rich. "See that guy over there?" she asked Buffy, "that's Xander Harris. Most popular guy in school. Richest guy in school. Funniest guy in school. Biggest Jerk in school."
"Aren't they usually?" Buffy asked amused.
"He and Willow used to be best friends too. They started dating in Junior high, and that's when Willow started to get popular. She was with the ideal guy to be with. The summer before Freshman year they drifted apart, and he drifted toward me. Now Willow and I weren't friends any more, but I still didn't want to betray her like that. So Xander and I decided to be strictly friends. Except we couldn't exactly be just friends cause he had feelings for me.and I started having feelings for him. Not even butterflies in ya tummy feelings. I'm talking about full blown feelings I never believed you could have that young.
"We started sneaking kisses here and there, and by the end of the summer you couldn't not realized how much we were into eachother. School started and Willow didn't know anything about this, cause she'd been away all summer. By then we were officially an item, and she hated me for it. She never blamed Xander at all, just me."
They didn't say anything to eachother for a while. "Wanna go shopping after school?" Buffy asked, needing to break the silence, and sensing Cordelia needed a shift in conversation. "Hell ya, I saw the new coach bag in the catalogue yesterday, and I absolutely need it." Cordy answered automatically, making both of them laugh.
"Right then," Buffy's face was serious, but her eyes were laughing "shopping it is."
"Are you sure your uncle won't mind me staying over for the night?" Cordy asked her voice a bit nervous, and edgy.
"Please, no prob, he's totally in the know!" Buffy answered smiling. It was sad to see someone like Cordelia, who looked so confident on the outside, be so lonely and hungry for real friendship, whether she knew it or not. Maybe it was so sad because Buffy used to be just like that. Snapping away from her thoughts, she realized that Cordy had just asked her something.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat? I was off wandering. " Buffy asked.
"Translation please." Seeing Buffy's blank look she added," you said your uncle was in the know, translation?"
"Oh." Buffy shook her head. "Sorry LA slang. I just meant that I called him on my cell to let him know, but anyways he would've been cool with it even without the call." She smiled wistfully as she walked down the hall and led Cordelia to her room. Once they were inside she let her hair out, and threw her jacket onto the floor with a sigh. Making herself comfortable, she motioned for Cordy to do the same.
"He's really cool like that ya know. Some people were just made to be parents. Uncle Giles is right up there with the best of them. Like right now he's about to leave the office, and he's wondering what to bring us to eat. He knows I could just whip us up something, and that I would, but if he brings home pizza, we can go into the den and eat it while we talk about something completely random, or even just sit there in silence. It's more homey."
"You guys are really close huh?" Cordy asked, longing and envy evident in her voice.
"Yeah, we are." Buffy answered as she changed into her pajamas.
"How about your parents? Are you guys close?" Cordy asked as she carefully folded her clothes. Her back was turned and she couldn't see the way Buffy stiffened up, or the tears that welled up in her eyes, so she continued. "I can only imagine what your parents are like considering how awesome your uncle sounds. You must be even closer. Do they live here with you guys?"
Buffy took a deep breath, and chose her next words carefully, trying not to let bitterness creep into her voice. "I wouldn't know how awesome they are considering I didn't have a whole lotta time to find out."
Turning around she made certain she avoided Cordy's eyes, busying herself with putting away all the things she'd bought this afternoon. After a few moments she lifted her gaze to Cordy's, and let out a tired sigh, her eyes troubled and sad.
"My parents were killed when I was almost 7. Killed by a man who claimed to love my mother dearly. A man who felt that if he couldn't have her, then no one could. A man who till this day claims to be my true father."
Giles had come home to find two teenage girls holding onto eachother for dear life, and crying their eyes out. Now she and Buffy were fast asleep, in bed.
With a headache that demanded to be treated but would receive no aid from him, Giles retreated to the liquor cabinet. With a fine glass of whiskey laying on the table beside him Giles let out a strangled moan. Would she forever be haunted by the ghosts of the past? Would Jack Finn never leave her be?
Curling his fist, his anger boiled to the surface. What had Joyce been thinking, getting involved with him? True, he had been charming, and interested (far too interested to do any good), and he knew Joyce had begun to feel dissatisfied with her marriage, but why would she turn to scum like Jack? What had drove her to feel the need to turn to Jack? And when she had finally come to her senses, it had been too late. Too late for her marriage, and entirely too late for her.
And now, he comes looking for Buffy, and what better way to get the daughter he wanted, then through the son he already had?
'Yes,' Giles thought,' Riley Finn is the key. I pray to God he can't finish where his father left off.'
Please tell me what you think! I live and write for feedback even if it's critical! (just try not to be too harsh)
"Bye Uncle Giles!" Buffy Summers called out as she stumbled out of the door, on her way to school. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the perfect outfit. Most of her stuff hadn't arrived at the new house yet. She was wearing a sky blue skirt that casually draped over her ankles, and had two long slits on both sides. Under her dark blue jean jacket, she wore a creamy white, spaghetti strap top. Her almost shimmering golden, hair was piled on top of her head, in a messy bun. A few strands fell out of place, and were left to dance with the wind upon her almost perfectly placed cheekbones.
People were always telling her how beautiful she was. When she went to Ireland during the summers, she was known throughout the town as 'Brinneall a' àiteag' 'Beautiful and shy.' She wasn't a shy person at all. With her friends she was the center of attention, outgoing and fun, but she distrusted certain people, especially guys. She was beautiful and she knew it, but she wasn't cocky, she even looked upon her beauty as a curse at times. She didn't date because guys took one look at her and saw 'brinneall' 'a beautiful lady,' and nothing more.
'Sunnydale,'she thought,'definitely not LA! but it's kinda nice.'
The ringing of a loud bell brought her away from her thoughts. "Damn, i'm gonna be late!" she shouted, starting at a run toward the steps of Sunnydale High.
"So whats was up with little miss.i'm trying way too hard to be a bad girl?" Buffy asked Cordy at lunch.
It turned out that Cordy and her had all their periods except 2 together, and they were finding that they were amazing compatible friends.
Cordy laughed at Buffy's name for Willow. She also realized that she laughed at a lot of things Buffy said. She was funny, stylish, smart, most definitely NOT fake, and the kind of friend Cordy missed having. "We kind of used to be...friends. Scratch that, we were actually best friends. Things happened and she decided to try getting high and mighty. So I decided to try high and mighty right back, and of course I was better at it than she." Buffy nodded beginning to understand where this story was going.
"In junior high we were both really popular, and it was the same freshman year, except she started to up the stakes. She was totally outta control, and she wanted to crush me. Totally destroy everything that was me. I wouldn't let her. I didn't let her, and in the process I crushed her. Ironic huh? I didn't mean to, I never had any intention to hurt her, because she was the only REAL friend I had ever had. Everyone else was too fake; they weren't friends. Suddenly I was this cold hearted ruthless bitch in everyone's eyes, and that made me cool."
"Drama of the worse kind," Buffy said sympathetically. Cordy smiled almost bitterly.
She didn't know why she needed Buffy to know the whole story, but she did know that she didn't want Buffy thinking she was like the rest of her clique. " I just don't get why she started the whole high and mighty routine. When did she start hating you so much?" Buffy asked.
Once the question was out of her mouth Buffy regretted asking it. Cordy looked like she could break down any moment. Not on the outside of course, pain like that cuts too deep. You have to really look into someone's eyes to catch that kind of pain and hurt. Buffy knew all to well about the work it took to keep smiling when you were dieing on the inside. She still did it now.
Cordy turned her head to the other side of the cafeteria. She looked at her usual table, filled up with all the popular people. One chair was empty, and that was hers. She had told her clique she wouldn't be sitting with them today. No one would question her of course, but she knew she'd have explaining to do later, or people would talk.
She pointed to a guy with brown hair and a goofy smile on his face. He was wearing khaki pants and a green shirt. Everything about him screamed popular and rich. "See that guy over there?" she asked Buffy, "that's Xander Harris. Most popular guy in school. Richest guy in school. Funniest guy in school. Biggest Jerk in school."
"Aren't they usually?" Buffy asked amused.
"He and Willow used to be best friends too. They started dating in Junior high, and that's when Willow started to get popular. She was with the ideal guy to be with. The summer before Freshman year they drifted apart, and he drifted toward me. Now Willow and I weren't friends any more, but I still didn't want to betray her like that. So Xander and I decided to be strictly friends. Except we couldn't exactly be just friends cause he had feelings for me.and I started having feelings for him. Not even butterflies in ya tummy feelings. I'm talking about full blown feelings I never believed you could have that young.
"We started sneaking kisses here and there, and by the end of the summer you couldn't not realized how much we were into eachother. School started and Willow didn't know anything about this, cause she'd been away all summer. By then we were officially an item, and she hated me for it. She never blamed Xander at all, just me."
They didn't say anything to eachother for a while. "Wanna go shopping after school?" Buffy asked, needing to break the silence, and sensing Cordelia needed a shift in conversation. "Hell ya, I saw the new coach bag in the catalogue yesterday, and I absolutely need it." Cordy answered automatically, making both of them laugh.
"Right then," Buffy's face was serious, but her eyes were laughing "shopping it is."
"Are you sure your uncle won't mind me staying over for the night?" Cordy asked her voice a bit nervous, and edgy.
"Please, no prob, he's totally in the know!" Buffy answered smiling. It was sad to see someone like Cordelia, who looked so confident on the outside, be so lonely and hungry for real friendship, whether she knew it or not. Maybe it was so sad because Buffy used to be just like that. Snapping away from her thoughts, she realized that Cordy had just asked her something.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat? I was off wandering. " Buffy asked.
"Translation please." Seeing Buffy's blank look she added," you said your uncle was in the know, translation?"
"Oh." Buffy shook her head. "Sorry LA slang. I just meant that I called him on my cell to let him know, but anyways he would've been cool with it even without the call." She smiled wistfully as she walked down the hall and led Cordelia to her room. Once they were inside she let her hair out, and threw her jacket onto the floor with a sigh. Making herself comfortable, she motioned for Cordy to do the same.
"He's really cool like that ya know. Some people were just made to be parents. Uncle Giles is right up there with the best of them. Like right now he's about to leave the office, and he's wondering what to bring us to eat. He knows I could just whip us up something, and that I would, but if he brings home pizza, we can go into the den and eat it while we talk about something completely random, or even just sit there in silence. It's more homey."
"You guys are really close huh?" Cordy asked, longing and envy evident in her voice.
"Yeah, we are." Buffy answered as she changed into her pajamas.
"How about your parents? Are you guys close?" Cordy asked as she carefully folded her clothes. Her back was turned and she couldn't see the way Buffy stiffened up, or the tears that welled up in her eyes, so she continued. "I can only imagine what your parents are like considering how awesome your uncle sounds. You must be even closer. Do they live here with you guys?"
Buffy took a deep breath, and chose her next words carefully, trying not to let bitterness creep into her voice. "I wouldn't know how awesome they are considering I didn't have a whole lotta time to find out."
Turning around she made certain she avoided Cordy's eyes, busying herself with putting away all the things she'd bought this afternoon. After a few moments she lifted her gaze to Cordy's, and let out a tired sigh, her eyes troubled and sad.
"My parents were killed when I was almost 7. Killed by a man who claimed to love my mother dearly. A man who felt that if he couldn't have her, then no one could. A man who till this day claims to be my true father."
Giles had come home to find two teenage girls holding onto eachother for dear life, and crying their eyes out. Now she and Buffy were fast asleep, in bed.
With a headache that demanded to be treated but would receive no aid from him, Giles retreated to the liquor cabinet. With a fine glass of whiskey laying on the table beside him Giles let out a strangled moan. Would she forever be haunted by the ghosts of the past? Would Jack Finn never leave her be?
Curling his fist, his anger boiled to the surface. What had Joyce been thinking, getting involved with him? True, he had been charming, and interested (far too interested to do any good), and he knew Joyce had begun to feel dissatisfied with her marriage, but why would she turn to scum like Jack? What had drove her to feel the need to turn to Jack? And when she had finally come to her senses, it had been too late. Too late for her marriage, and entirely too late for her.
And now, he comes looking for Buffy, and what better way to get the daughter he wanted, then through the son he already had?
'Yes,' Giles thought,' Riley Finn is the key. I pray to God he can't finish where his father left off.'
Please tell me what you think! I live and write for feedback even if it's critical! (just try not to be too harsh)