If you read the description, then you saw that this is a sequel of sorts to my other story "All Things Pass." Now, I'm a strong supporter of having one's work being able to stand on its own, and you can certainly understand this story if you haven't read the other story. That being said, this story is enhanced if you read "All Things Pass" because I've interwoven themes, ideas, and foreshadowing. They are meant to be taken together, so I would urge you to read "All Things Pass" before you read this. However, the decision is certainly up to you.

One last thing to be aware of: this story is not a novelization of the game. The prologue starts after Horizon, but then will jump forward to Illium. My primary concern in this story is the characters and their relationships. Since the game does a nice job of following plot sequentially, I'll let you just play that if you want to know about what happened in-between that time. I will also change events as necessary, though I will not alter the ultimate facts in any way.

As always, thanks to those who read and review. I enjoy feedback, both positive and negative. Do not feel concerned about hurting my feelings. If you see something you don't like, let me know.

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Prologue

She wore Alliance blue.

Her armor exhibited a deep, navy blue with white lines to symbolize the colors of the Alliance. From the moment Shepard had awoken, she insisted on wearing the blue and white; she meant to send a message to all of Cerberus that she knew where her loyalties lied and death was not enough to make her forget. She still thought of herself as an Alliance marine.

When she heard that her friend, Chief Williams, was on Horizon, Shepard had donned the blue and white armor yet again, anticipating a chance to not only reconnect with her friend, but also convince the Alliance to help her stop the collectors. Every step forward on the planet was an agonizing search for Ash - hoping to find her while simultaneously worried that she was already too late. Shepard held her breath every time they ran across another colonist, wondering if she would see Ash peering back at her, frozen but safe. Each time she was quickly disappointed. Yet, she pushed on, determined to shoot the collector ship right out of the sky if necessary.

She could admit now that she had been too optimistic from the start. She still had trouble wrapping her brain around the concept that two years had passed without her, when it felt like only a few days. In an odd way, it felt like she was meeting up with Ash after a bit of shore leave, and they would swap stories, joke around, and pick up where they'd left off on their mission to stop the Reapers. In her mind's eye, Shepard pictured seeing Ash again and playfully reciting a line of poetry (something light-hearted perhaps), to which the Chief would laugh and play along, combating with her own line until one of them won the game they had invented. It would be just like old times, and Shepard could pretend that nothing had ever changed. However, her optimism did not last. It could not last.

She'd wanted to smash that mechanic, Delan's, head against the wall when he had the gall to blame the Alliance for the collector attacks. He even had the nerve to blame Ashley. Shepard felt her temper rising to the surface then, a red hot boiling in her blood. She wanted to knock some sense into his ignorant brain, but of course she would never attack an innocent. Maybe a batarian, but not some random idiot who didn't know what he was talking about. So instead, she bit back her anger, tried to suppress her wicked temper, and moved on towards the defense towers.

Then she'd finally found Ash. All thoughts of the poetry game vanished from her mind when she saw the look on Ashley's face. Shepard had stood there, in her blue and white armor, while Ashley called her a traitor - demanded to know why the commander had not contacted her in the last two years. She'd tried to explain that she had been dead, that she had no memory of the last two years. She tried to make her friend understand that she had never turned her back on the Alliance, that at this moment even Cerberus had to be an ally against the Reapers; when all the lives in the galaxy were at stake she couldn't afford to sit on her hands. She wanted the Alliance's help. She wanted Ashley's help. But Chief Williams had turned her back on her, and walked away - and Shepard realized that along with Ashley went the support of the Alliance.

Now she stood in her quarters, staring at a monitor that displayed her armor and its coloring. The majority of her wanted to don the navy blue and white again, and not just symbolically. It had been who she was for so long, her identity felt wrapped up in her image as a N7 marine. Yet, the sting of Ashley's words were still fresh in her mind. Her friend thought that she was a traitor. Her talks with Anderson seemed to confirm that the rest of the Alliance felt the same. They certainly didn't have plans to help her.

Traitors didn't get to wear the blue and white.

Her hands hovered over the controls as she struggled with her new identity. She was no longer part of the Alliance. She refused to be a part of Cerberus. What was her place in all of this? Was she simply alone?

Trembling slightly as she made the adjustments to her armor, Shepard's violet eyes gazed at the all black armor that stared back at her. Sadly, she logged off the terminal and closed her eyes, sighing. She was still coming to terms with the knowledge of all the things she had lost. She wondered if there was any kind of absolution in store for her in the future or if she was destined to lose everything in time.

It occurred to her then what she should have said to Ashley on Horizon. It seemed the only appropriate way for them to part.

Forgive me forgive me for here where I stand

There is no friend beside me no lover at hand

No footstep but mine in my desert of sand.