Choices

Another prompt from Dante101, and I thank you again for the idea. You've got some good ones. This one is another AU on Rogue, which explores the possibility of two ways Rogue could have ended.

In any story, one of the variables that can have an effect, be it major or minor, of the way things end is often dependant on the choices of the character. And Shay's is undoubtedly no exception. So, here's the question?

What if something could have happened that could have potentially changed his mind?

Shay sat on a log, on the outskirts of the Homestead, staring deep into the fire he had built up. His hands formed an arch like shape, which he rested his chin upon.

"Liam is a fool if he thinks I'll let this be," Shay though. "Achilles-"

"Shay?" A voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see Hope moving through the snow toward him. She stopped short of him and looked down at him.

"What do you want Hope?" Shay said in a slightly irritated voice.

"I… wanted to see how you were doing," she answered lamely.

Shay didn't respond. He just resumed staring down into the fire. Hope went and sat down on another log opposite him.

"Shay," she said slowly, in a slightly pained voice.

"What," Shay snapped at her, shooting her an angry glare as he did so. Hope actually looked slightly shocked at him. Shay was not one to snap at people, nor show such disrespect to his superiors.

"Shay, I can understand your upset about what happened, but do not show such disrespect-" Hope was cut off by Shay.

"You're thinking about my disrespect," Shay snarled. "After all that's happened?"

Hope was silent, thinking about how to respond. On the one hand, she knew she ought to berate him for his disrespect, but on the other, she recognised he had a point.

"Im sorry, Shay," she said to him. Shay shot her another filthy look before once more returning his gaze to the flames.

The pair remained silent, Shay just staring angrily into the fire, Hope watching Shay closely.

"I've ruined so many lives," Shay said quietly after a while.

"What do you mean?" Hope asked softly, looking over at him.

"If I hadn't tried retrieving that damned artefact," Shay began. "All those people would be alive," he said sadly. Shay buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes as though exhausted. Hope steeled herself for a moment, before walking around the fire and sitting next to Shay. She hesitated for a moment before then placing her arm around him, hoping to bring some level of comfort to the man.

Hope thought for a moment, thinking about all that Shay had been through. He had watched an entire city fall, likely witnessed the deaths of hundreds in his own bid to escape. Hope looked at Shay, who hadn't moved since she placed her arm around him, rubbing his shoulder in an attempt to make him feel calm. He seemed to sink lower where he sat.

"I can't imagine how tough that must have been for you Shay," she whispered to him.

"Tough doesn't begin to describe it," Shay said in a low voice, face still hidden in his hands. "All because of me, so many souls have been lost."

"You shouldn't blame yourself Shay," Hope told him.

"And why not," he argued. "It's my fault."

"No its not," Hope said firmly to him. "However much it may seem like it, it isn't."

"If I hadn't gone in there and interacted with that artefact-"Shay began in a loud voice, taking his hands away from his face.

"Shay!" Hope snapped at him. "You couldn't have known what would happen. None of us knew what could have happened. So stop blaming yourself. I know how horrible it was. But please, please don't blame yourself or make yourself feel worse about it. That won't solve anything,"

Hope told him. She took a deep breath and steadied herself, trying to think of a ways to make Shay feel better. Hope couldn't quite figure out why, but she realised she hated seeing Shay like this. She pushed this curious feeling aside for the moment and began thinking.

Shay was now staring at the ground, as though hoping it would open up and swallow him into the depths of the earth. A single tear fell from his eye before he closed them. He didn't want to cry. He knew it would solve nothing. Another fell from behind his closed eyelids. Hope didn't seem to have noticed this. He prayed she wouldn't. He didn't want another person to think less of him.

"Shay?" Hope asked.

"What," he muttered in a low whisper.

Hope was trying to think of something to say to him. To get him to look up. To smile. Something. Anything.

"Please don't do anything stupid," was all she could say. She mentally smacked herself. What good would saying something like that do? Now she worried he thought she hated him, or thought he was stupid. Shay didn't respond. He was still thinking.

"Seems like I've already done that," he whispered.

"That wasn't your fault Shay," Hope told him. "Don't ever think it was."

"I just can't help it," Shay told her sadly. "All I can think about is the damage that was done, all the lives lost."

"I understand," Hope said. "I can't say I blame you. But don't lose faith Shay. Things can get better. Things can be fixed."

"Things can get better," Shay repeated. "I doubt it."

"Terrible things have happened in the past Shay," Hope told him. "It's sad but true. But people have found, and will find a way to continue."

"I doubt those people witnessed an earthquake," Shay said. "Whats there to keep me going?"

"You have the brotherhood," Hope told him. "You have best friend Liam." Hope neglected adding in the words, you have me. It just didn't seem like the right thing to say at that moment.

"Perhaps you're right," Shay said, looking up. "But I can't help but wonder if it's enough."

"It will be," Hope told him. "Just have faith," she instructed him.

"Faith," Shay repeated. He was looking up toward the dark night sky. Hope actually thought he had a look of hope for the future on his face. She prayed she had managed to shake him out of his depression.

"I'm going to go back to the homestead now, OK Shay?" Hope informed him, standing up. "You want to come back with me?" she asked him, a hopeful look on her face. She gave him a small smile, hoping it would convince him to return with her.

"I think I'll stay out here just a little bit longer Hope," Shay said, looking up at her.

"OK, I'll see you later," she said. She bade him a goodnight and set off back toward the homestead. She couldn't help but look over her shoulder more times than perhaps necessary, wishing each time she looked to see him following her back to the homestead. Each time however, she just saw him staring into the fire. Contemplating.

Hope rounded a corner of the mansion and went to the front door. She opened it and entered.

Shay meanwhile remained sitting on the log beside the fire. Warming his hands. He was still debating what to do in his head. He remained siting for a few more minutes, thinking about what Hope had said. He also continued thinking about what he should do. He had to confess to himself that he felt lost.

Shay made up his mind. He stood up abruptly from the log, kicked a few handfuls worth of snow over the fire to smother and extinguish it. He then turned and set off toward the Homestead. A look of steely determination donned his face as he had made up his mind, and realised what he had to do to set things right.

Cliffhanger. Unlike my other stories this one will actually have multiple endings as suggested by Dante. Thanks again for the prompt Dante. This one is a particular favourite because of the cleverness behind it.

Apologies to everyone for not uploading in the last couple of weeks. I've been a tad busy and haven't had as much time for my writings as I'd like. I already have the second chapter for this story written out and will upload it at the same time as this one. I also intend to have the third chapter to this story out as soon as possible, preferably by the end of tomorrow if possible.

In the meantime I hope you all enjoyed this story, and if you did, please drop a review and give me your thoughts. Feedback is critical to me. I like to ensure that my writing is good, and so helpful criticism and so on is very important.

Other than that, all I have to say is stay awesome everyone!