Immortal
RG: Well, I decided to try something semi-angsty. Considering the fact that I can't write angst, you'll have to bear with me. This is a songfic. DEAL WITH IT.
Rating: PG for themes.
Genre(s): Romance/Angst
Original Characters: None, this is a one-shot
Out Of Characterness: sigh …
Pairings: Just one. Greed/Lust
The song is Evanescence's "My Immortal." Get ready for the angstiness! Oh yeah, forgot to mention, this could really be in either the animeverse or the mangaverse. Based on Greed's death in the mangaverse, but hey, doesn't matter which one you choose. (Though, technically, Greed didn't know who Lust was in the anime… Oh well.)
Summary: …Dude, it's a songfic. How much summary do you need? Hey, I even gave you the pairing! That's a first for me! Well, it's from Lust's POV. Happy?
I'm so tired of being here…
Father had given her a mission. That was the only thing that mattered now. She owed it to him, and herself to complete it. It didn't matter who or what got in the way; that's what she had been told. Now, looking back, she could see that her father was wrong.
Suppressed by all my childish fears,
If there had been anything that had scared her, it was the strange feelings she began to develop around him. Greed. If it had been anyone else, she could have accepted the feeling as what she assumed it was. Love. But it was him. It was Greed.
And if you have to leave
She heard the news from Envy. His paradise, the Devil's Nest, had been raided. Pride had captured him. He was had been in the same room as her, if only for a moment.
I wish that you would just leave,
The feelings overpowered her. She couldn't stand it. She had to leave, she needed him to go back to where he came from; so things could be the way they once were. But he wouldn't go back; he would allow himself to die rather than submit to Father.
'Cuz your presence still lingers here,
Every time she entered that room, she could feel his eyes staring at her. Those violet eyes; laughing even as he died. He was gone.
And it won't leave me alone…
It didn't matter what happened to her now. There was only one place to go. To whatever lay beyond this material world. With him.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
She couldn't help but miss him. Everything she knew pointed that it shouldn't be this way. He was dead; she was alive. Her feelings for him were wrong, he was her fellow Homunculi. He wasn't, and never could have been, right for her. But reason never stopped pain before. Why should it start now?
This pain is just too real.
Without him, she came to a realization. She had loved him. She did love him. And she never got to tell him. That's what hurt most; the fact that he would never know how much she cared. How much his last act on Earth had affected her. Now, her mission seemed pointless. Father would be displeased.
There's just too much that time cannot erase...
One hundred years. One thousand years. It wouldn't matter. She couldn't stand it. Now that her feelings had been revealed, she wanted nothing more than to act on them. She couldn't.
When you cried I'd
She remembered that one time she entered Devil's Nest, far before Pride attacked. He had been surprised, seeing her on his own turf. Usually, she called him to her. If what had happened between them was love, then Lust had been wrong all her life. She knew his feelings couldn't have been the same as hers. But he could confide in her. That was all she needed to know she was important in his life.
Wipe away all of your tears;
He might have always seemed happy, but he wasn't. The pressures of running the bar were getting to him. He'd do anything to escape the responsibility. Even fall to Lust's seductions.
When you scream I'd
They had only been together for less than a week. She wasn't excluded from the group he lead. What had happened between them remained a secret. No one even bothered wondering what happened between them. But even so, there was something he was still hiding.
Fight away all of your fears;
One day, he didn't come for her. She didn't want to believe what she knew was truth. She stayed for a few weeks after, continuing to listen to all he had to say. She was there for him, even when he wasn't there for her.
And I held your hand through all of these years,
For hundreds of years she had been near her fellow Homunculi. Greed had not been one she stayed with. At least, that's what she thought. But when he told her that she was the only one that he could confide in, she felt as though she was in the heaven she had heard mentioned so often.
But you still held
She stood before his gravestone. A small thing, with a charcoal marking of the Homunculi tattoo. She crouched to the ground and placed the white roses on the ground. His body wasn't in there; she knew that. But this was the only way she could feel as though she was getting some closure.
On me…
She turned her face upwards into the rain. He was gone. He was gone. He was gone. She had to keep her cool. She would never dream of letting anyone know what was going on inside her head. She couldn't keep control. She dropped her head and hid her eyes behind her hair.
You used to captivate me
Years ago, so long she couldn't clearly remember, he had been with her. It had been brief. It didn't matter that they didn't love each other back then. Both had gotten what they wanted from that relationship. After all, she wasn't called Lust for nothing.
By your resonating lie.
He had told her that he loved her. He had told countless women that. She believed it. She believed him. She hated it. She hated him.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Those years were gone. Her animosity towards him was long gone. She now felt nothing more than an engrossing love. She missed him terribly. If only she had told him… revealed everything that she knew…
Your face it haunts
Even now she could feel him watching her. And she knew he was laughing at her. He was always happy around others. Happy and self-absorbed. In private, he was anxious. Anxious and self-absorbed. And part of her missed his abrupt and to-the-point statements. She missed everything about him; the way he laughed when she said something he found stupid, the way he held her, the way he smiled at her from across the bar reassuringly.
My once pleasant dreams.
A Homunculus should not have those feelings for anyone, much less another soulless being. She was plagued at first, she felt nothing but hatred towards Father, she wanted to be allowed to be with Greed. Now, she knew it could never have been. Perhaps it was best.
Your voice it chased away
Eternally without him. She was eternally without him. Alone. It didn't matter if Father decided to create a new sin. She would never be able to replace him.
All the sanity in me.
Without him, she felt herself falling into the chasm of depression. She put on a brave front, pretending to be indifferent to him. But inside, every day was torture. She tried to escape, heading as far away to wherever she could go.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
The white roses were the very first gift she had ever been given. He had appeared one day with the roses, as well as a jacket similar to his, the fluffy fur surrounding her neck reminded her of his arms around her neck. Those white roses brought her back to that time so long ago.
This pain is just too real
That time when she had hated him was short-lived. He appeared one day with the roses and the coat. She didn't want them, she wouldn't take them. He shrugged and left, seemingly indifferent. But she knew better. And she always would be able to read him, just like that day so long ago.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
Just how long had it been? Several hundred years, that much she knew. And how long had he been dead? A week? Only a week?
When you cried I'd
And now she cried. She had never shed a tear over him before. Now she did. It was too late for everything she wished to say to him. It was too late for her to thank him for all he had given her, and all he had taught her.
Wipe away all of your tears;
If she could have one thing now, it was to join him. Not to bring him back, for even she knew that there was no way Father would revive him. He couldn't anyway. Death was irreversible. And that was why she couldn't let herself die. She had to live on for him. For Greed.
When you scream I'd
And one day, when Alchemy was capable of reviving people, she would have him brought back to her. He would be with her for the eternity she so desired. He wouldn't ever leave her again. Never.
Fight away all of your fears;
That's what she needed. She needed him to reassure her, like he had years ago. He had been her conscious, her soul, in a body incapable of feeling the deep emotions said to be only belonging to full humans. It didn't matter that she wasn't human, to him, she was everything he needed; and he was all she needed.
And I held your hand through all of these years,
Now that he was gone, she could only think about everything she had done wrong. She tried to scavenge the emotions and feelings and memories that they had shared; the happy times. They wouldn't come. Footsteps alerted her to someone approaching. Her heart soared, maybe her eyes had played a trick on her. Maybe he wasn't dead.
But you still held
Envy approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder supportively. He said nothing, but held out a solitary white rose, with a piece of paper wrapped around it, tied with a red ribbon. She took it, wincing as a thorn drew blood.
On me…
The blood dripped onto his grave, slowly sinking into the earth. She untied the red ribbon and slowly undid the paper and read it. The tears that she had shed began again.
Me…
"I won't leave you, Lust. I may be gone, but you'll always be there for me. I'll always be here for you." The note was signed Greed. Of course. She clutched the rose to herself and fell to her knees.
Me…
Even years from that day, the white rose Greed gave her in death continued to flower. She planted it on his grave and it flowered into a white rose bush. Everywhere she went, a white rose followed her. And that white rose would remain with her until the bitter end; just as her memories of Greed.
