Silent moments.
The sea would just keep going, as if nothing ever happend. The same old color, the same shape of blue and the same golfs who push their way to the seaside. No, they don't seem to know what happend today. They don't know that the person who came here the most, who loved the sea, the golfs, the whole beach, who used to swim here, surf here.. well.. that he isn't here anymore. But I know.
It's early October and it's pretty cold at the beach, but I don't feel anything. I just sit here letting the tears stream down my face as if I'm completely numbed. Maybe I am, I don't know. Doesn't this always happen in films? In those sad movies where people run to the beach when they don't know what to do anymore, crying their eyes out and staring into space for hours. The only thing missing is...
'Emma..?' oh how pathetic. I keep staring into the sea watching the golfs splash towards the rocks while a brown haired boy silently sat down next to me. 10 minutes long we said nothing. The only thing what could be heared, besides the sea.. what is mentioned enough now, are my sobs which I just can't hide anymore. 'They are looking for you, you know' he finally said after a while. I could hear his voice crack. Of course it is. It was his best friend, his best friend died! 'oh' was my response after finally finding my voice back. 'They don't expect you to be fine' he continued 'and neither do I.. so don't try to hide yourself' I allowed myself to wipe away a few tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and to finally look up. This is the first time since then I actually look at him. His eyes are red and swollen but I don't think mine look any better. 'I.. I just' I kinda startle at how soft my voice sound. 'I just feel like it's my fault' There I said it. I quickly look away as the tears start to stream down my face again. 'Hey don't say that!' the tension in his voice made my head shot up just in time to look him right in the eyes, those beautiful green eyes of him.. wait what? 'And why not!?' I snapped back 'It is, Dylan! it just is! He came looking for me didn't he?' I burrowed my head in my hands and started crying again.. 'Emma..' Dylan said sympathetically his voice being softer now while he awkwardly put his arm around my shoulders. Normally I would have punched him already, but for some reason.. I kinda like it. 'It's nobody's fault, except for that stupid driver, and you know that' he finished. 'B-but if I just-' 'No' he interrupted me fearmly 'No, you couldn't have done anything, nobody could have done anything and I know that he didn't want you or.. anyone for that matter.. to feel that way' He waited for me to say something, when he realised I wasn't going to he continued. 'I know you miss him already Em, I do too.. everyone does! He was an amazing person and of course we will never forget him but blaming his dead on yourself is not a good thing.. and he would never want you to do that.' Yes of course deep inside I know he was right, he was always right.
I looked up with probably the most swollen eyes someone has ever seen as Dylan slowly turned my head to face his eyes. 'I-it's just not f-fair' I managed to crack. 'I know girl' he said while he stroke a hairstring out of my face. 'H-he was.. he was m-my brother' Yes.. he was my twin. how can I ever live without him? I let out a big sob by just realizing this again. 'He wasn't just your brother, he still is your brother.' Dylan softly replied while he pulled me in a hug. I gladly returned it as I cried out on his shoulder. 'and he always will' he finished in a whisper. I could feel his own body shake by his sobs now. Gently I pulled away and there we were, looking at eachother for an other 10 seconds. It could be just me but his face is coming really close now.. untill I felt his soft lips touching mine. It.. it feels like magic. Who would have ever thought that? My brother is probably laughing at us right now, and I wouldn't want it any other way. He gently pulled away and smiled at me while he finally helped me up and whisperd 'You are never gonna do this alone'. Again I knew he was right.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
