Ok guys this is my first story and I am not really sure how good I am going to be at this, so be thorough in your reviews, and try to be as kind as you can.

Ok this story takes place 1 year after Edward leaves Bella in the woods. She is now a college student on her way to a degree in literature, maybe becoming a librarian or a teacher she isn't decided.

Also I do not own anything Twilight I just wanted to experiment with these lovely characters.

Bella POV

I looked around my new surroundings and sighed looking into the teary eyes of my father Charlie. "Dad don't worry I am an hour away from you in Forks, I will come see you all the time; remember I feel it is my duty to make sure that you eat a meal that didn't come out of a cardboard box in a plastic tray." I tried to give him my most serious look with that being said. He just laughed and choked back the tears a little more. He walked over and gave me a full on hug, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. " I love you Bella, and if you say we will see each other all the time I believe you.

I walked Charlie to his cruiser and gave him a tearful farewell. I turned to look at the large building that I now would call home while attending Washington State.

I returned to my dorm room and looked around and felt more alone than I had in almost a year, just the thought made the hole in my chest ache violently. I gripped my sides and silently told myself that I just needed time and a new life and the pain would go away. Who am I kidding the pain was never going to go away. I shook the dark thoughts from my mind and started unpacking. I was thankful my roommate hadn't checked in yet so that I could get the most comfortable bed and set up all of my things without interference.

When I checked in the RA (residence assistant) in my wing told me my roommate was going to be late so my first night would be solo. While I unpacked I came across a box I know that I didn't pack, and when I opened it felt like the world crumbled inside the box were my old collection of Jane Austen stories, my beaten copy of Wuthering Heights, and the one story I hoped to never see again Romeo and Juliet. On top of these books was a folded piece of paper, I opened it and read "Bella honey I know that you have a hard time with these, but I know that deep down they mean a lot to you and I hope someday you won't hold what happened against these helpless classic stories, sorry if I mad you sad. Love Dad" I sighed and let the tears flow silently while I thought about the words written on the paper. He was right it wasn't their fault it was his fault, I still couldn't bring myself to say that name that would send me into hysterics. I sobbed as I flipped open Wuthering Heights, and there it was just where I had hidden it, like I knew what was coming. In front of my eyes was the photo I had taken of Edward on my birhtday, ouch I thought his name now here comes the pain, the photo he didn't know that I had hidden in my book, it was the duplicate of the one he took so that it would be as if he never existed. As I looked at this for the first time since he left, I could see how flawed my memory was, and here in front of me was the picture of perfection, of the love I never really had, and there it echoed in my mind again "your no good for me" I flinched again. I quickly placed the photo back in the book and tried desperately to think of anything else. Then I felt the strangest vibration, oh crap my phone.

Charlie had insisted along with self-defense classes that I carry a cell phone at all times, being a cop makes him a little overprotective. "hello" I said trying desperately to hide the sadness in my voice. "Hey Bells, did you get moved in ok?" Just hearing the husky familiar voice lightened my mood. "yeah Jake I got moved in and unpacked. What's up?" This time I didn't need to try to sound happy I really was, Jake always lifted my spirits. How is he so good at being there right when I am sinking? "I just wanted to make sure that you and Charlie got everything taken care of, I am really sorry I couldn't help you, but Sam had me running double patrols for the past week to make sure everything was safe before we go back to school." I could hear the annoyance in his voice about having to go back to school. "So did your dad finally tell you that you had to finish high school now and not later?" I gave him my most supportive voice. "No, would you believe that it was Sam he used his alpha order on me, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared. The younger guys wanted to go back to school but not us. I was so pissed. But whatcha gonna do?" I could hear Jake roll his eyes as he said this. "oh well Jake it will give you time to rest you know sleep in class and all." I laughed while I said this know full well that if he fell asleep in class everybody would know his snores would be heard throughout the small school he went to. "HA HA very funny Bella" He laughed as he said this so I knew he wasn't really mad. "I am really sorry to cut you off Jake but I really need a shower after all the moving and I am beat so I am off to bed after that" I knew that if sleep did come for me tonight so would the pain and nightmares I brought on myself by looking at that damed photo. "Sure, sure Bella, have a good night. Oh yeah will it be ok if I come to see you in you big bad college this weekend Same said he would have my patrols assigned to the young guys?" His voice was mixed with excitement, and doubt when he asked this. "of course Jake that would be great, I really miss you." I wanted him to know that I loved being around him, then I felt sad because I knew I didn't want him the way he wanted me. "unless that would be weird for you because....you know" Jacob sighed heavily "No Bella it isn't weird it is still hard but I haven't given up yet." I felt like the room was spinning "I really wish you would Jake, and fine a girl that will appreciate you the right way." When he spoke after several long minutes I could hear the tears he was trying to hide " you know Bella I might actually do that someday, and I don't think you will like it as much as you think. I will be there Friday at 6 p.m. email me directions. I gotta go now have a good first week of college." He was quiet and I heard a whisper and I am pretty sure I wasn't meant to hear the words "you are killing me Bella, why do I love you anyway?" Then in a tone I was meant to hear he quickly said goodbye. Damn it why do I keep hurting him, and why did his whispered words feel like I had gotten hit with a branding iron.

I had about enough of my depressing day, so I grabbed my shower caddy, towel, robe and shower shoes and flounced angrily to the shower. The hot shower helped relax my muscles and relieve the pain that moving had put in them, but it didn't take the pain away from my constant ache and the slight burn from Jacob's words. I got back to my room, and decided to give into my exhaustion. I was now glad after the evening I had that I wouldn't have a roommate for the night to intrude upon what I knew was going to be a bad night of sleep, and I also knew at the end the screaming would come.