A/N: Thanks to my friend matthias4ever, who always reads these first and to my beta Artemis Leaena, who already seems pretty awesome :)
So here it is, finally, I hope you like it. And please leave a comment to let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: Yes, Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight and all the characters.
My Sweet Mistakes
"Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you.
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you"
1. Something better indeed
Edward's PoV
It all began late one night when I heard Esme and Carlisle whispering in their bedroom.
Sometimes I eavesdropped; it was fun listening to their anxious conversation. They were always so worried about me, even though sometimes I did feel sorry for them. I felt like saying, 'come on guys, relax, I'll manage. I'm not ruined, or if I am, at least I'm doing it with style.'
But then again, maybe it began a lot earlier, when I got expelled from school. I never meant those things to happen, they just did. But anyway, apparently they thought that somewhere I had crossed the line and needed a new, fresh start.
My parents believed in talking and listening to their child but there was no discussion this time. "We're moving to Forks," Carlisle told me one afternoon just as I was going up to my room. I felt a bit hungover and shitty so I wasn't really paying attention.
"We are?" I asked raising my eyebrow.
Esme, who was watching my reaction nodded. "A new start will be good for you. Aren't you excited to live closer to your cousins?"
That was probably one of the reasons they had decided on moving to Forks. They thought Emmett and Jasper, my best friends and cousins, would be better influences for me. Emmett had always been good at manipulating grownups and Jasper got straight As in almost every subject, so Esme and Carlisle thought they were good kids. Luckily they didn't know what really happened when the three of us got together.
I shrugged. I guess I was excited. "When are we moving?" I asked, even though I already knew from the conversation I overheard the other night. Next week.
"Next week," Carlisle replied.
"Okay," I said.
"Okay?" he asked. They both glanced at each other with the look. The look that said, He's planning something, so he's pretending he doesn't care.
The truth was that I really didn't care. What would I have against moving to Forks? Small town? Surely boring, if it wasn't for Emmett and Jasper. Rain every other day? Well, I didn't like sunshine anyway.
"Yeah! I guess I have to do some packing then," I said.
And just like that I left my old life behind. Now I found myself here, in the middle of a boring shithole town, in our big, but still quite empty, house. I had been here for like half an hour and I was already starting to think it was a bad idea.
Esme was helping me unpack in my new room upstairs, even though I told her not to bother. I guess she was feeling guilty about dragging me away from Phoenix. Esme always felt guilty when it came to me. Even though I guess I cared about her, I never told her she shouldn't feel guilty. She wasn't my real mom, but she was the closest to one I'd ever have again. But that was something I never let myself think about.
Even after the room had all my old furniture in it - my CDs organized on one wall, the guitar in the corner and my too-expensive computer on the desk - it still looked strange.
I sat on my bed wondering what the fuck I had gotten myself into, when my cell rang. It was Emmett.
"Hi, man," I answered.
"Hello, Eddie boy, how's it going? You're really here?" Emmett said, already sounding a little drunk, even though it was only three in the afternoon. Then again maybe it was just the excitement over not seeing each other for a while.
"Yeah, I'm sitting on my bed wondering how you've survived 17 years in this place," I said. Although I was already starting to cheer up at the thought of seeing my friends again.
"Great, get your ass over here and I'll show you how," Emmett said.
"Once again, Em, as much as I love you, I don't want to have sex with you," I grinned.
"Haha, very funny," he said dryly.
I laughed. "Seriously, though, what did you have in mind?"
"Party, tonight, of course," Emmett said. "Everyone's coming; naturally, they want to be first to get a look at the new kid, there's some pretty wild rumors going around already. From what I've heard, you're going to be very popular among the ladies, Eddie boy."
"Don't call me Eddie boy, it sounds idiotic and you know it," I pointed out.
He just laughed. "Seriously though, get your fat ass here. Jasper will be here soon and we need to get everything ready for tonight."
"See you in a bit," I said and hung up. I felt better already as I jogged downstairs.
"I'm going to Emmett's place, don't expect me back soon," I said to Esme and Carlisle who were unpacking in the kitchen.
"Okay," Esme smiled, seeming happy. "What are you guys going to do?"
"Emmett and Jasper are throwing me a party," I said. "It probably won't be anything big, just a few of their friends coming over."
"That's sounds nice, have fun," Carlisle smiled. Sometimes it amazed me how naïve they could be. If I was out of control in Phoenix, what made them think I'd suddenly turn into a good guy in Forks? Well, it certainly didn't bother me.
I had met Emmett and Jasper when I was eleven and we had been best friends ever since. Of course I wasn't their biological cousin; they were Esme's twin sisters' children. In my opinion, Emmett got the nicer twin as his mother – his parents were super rich and never home. Jasper's mom was another story. She was a single mom of three and sometimes Jasper had to make up crazy cover stories to get away from her. Luckily parents can really be quite blind when it comes to their kids.
The walk from our new house to Emmett's place was less than ten minutes, so I didn't bother to take my car.
Emmett's parents were just leaving when I got there. It was Friday and they were going on a weekend trip to some fancy spa or something. I exchanged a few polite words with them then shared a far more enthusiastic greeting with Emmett.
He practically jumped in my arms the moment I stepped into their house.
"Eddie boy!" he screamed as he tackled me against the wall.
"Gosh, Emmett, are you trying to choke me?" I asked, rolling my eyes and trying to keep my balance.
"Good to have you around, things were getting a little boring around here," Emmett said pulling me into the living room after we got rid of his parents. Unlike other adults, I think they had a fairly good idea what was going on with the teenagers around here, they just didn't care that much. That's why I always kind of liked Emmett's parents.
I grinned. "With me, things will never get boring," I winked at him. "Is Jasper here already?"
"Nope, the booze is, though," Emmett said, pulling an extra big bottle of Jack Daniel's out of the back of their living room cupboard
"Great," I said and my grin grew even wider. I already felt like I needed a big drink. "Who needs Jasper, anyway?"
"Are you talking about me?" Jasper asked stepping inside the living room.
I let out an excited cry and jumped up to greet Jasper.
So here we were finally, all three of us together. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all - actually it might be quite interesting.
xxx
Bella's PoV
I had only been home for a few hours and I was already losing my mind. Things were a little difficult around here. Actually things had been rough around here for quite a while now.
My family… yeah, you need to know a few things about us to understand – and even then, you probably couldn't. No one could.
"Bella," I heard Dad yelling from downstairs. "Get down here right now."
I sighed and got off my bed, bracing myself for whatever he needed this time.
"What now?" I asked.
Dad was swaying against the kitchen table, an almost empty bottle in his hand. "Where is your mother?" he spluttered.
"She's sleeping," I said trying to remain calm and hoping he wouldn't make yet another scene - something he usually did when he was drunk – which was most of the time now.
"I need to talk to her," he said. "Right now."
"Dad, she's sleeping and maybe it would be good for you to get some sleep too," I said taking the bottle carefully out of his hand. He was too drunk to even notice or care.
"I want to talk to her right now!" He yelled, frowning at me. "Don't you tell me what to do, when you don't know shit about anything."
"Whatever," I said turning away. Obviously it was no use trying to be sensible when he was in this kind of state.
Dad grabbed my shoulder and turned me around quickly. "Don't you dare turn your back on me, you are my daughter! You would be nothing, if it wasn't for me."
"Get your hands off me," I said stepping back. I was starting to get mad. I was tired, frustrated and so sick of this. "Can't you just, for once, try to be responsible? Is it really too much ask? I'm so sick of you acting like a child, as if Mom isn't enough to deal with."
I half ran upstairs.
"Bella!" I heard Dad calling after me. I decided it was better to ignore him.
When I got back to my room, I felt like screaming and punching the walls - anything to make me feel better. But I couldn't, it might upset Mom, who was sleeping, and would hopefully stay that way. She was on anti-depressants again and getting some sleep was apparently good for her or something. At least she wasn't crying anymore, that was even more nerve-wracking.
Sometimes I felt like I was living in a fucking madhouse.
I fell onto the bed on my stomach, closed my eyes and laid still. Sometimes I hoped that if I stayed very still and quiet, I might disappear for a while.
Just when I was starting to relax, my phone rang. I picked it up from my desk, and cheered up when I saw that it was my best friend Alice. "Hi," I said sitting up on the bed.
"Hi, Bells, what're you up to tonight?" Alice asked sounding her normal, cheerful self.
"Nothing," I answered. "Staying home, I guess."
"No way," Alice announced. "It's Friday night if you haven't noticed."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah? You have something better in mind?"
"Something better indeed," Alice said sounding even more excited than usual. "Jasper and Emmett's cousin, Edward Cullen just moved here. They're throwing a welcome party for him. The whole town is going, you can't miss it!"
"Really?" I asked, mildly interested now. "What kind of a name is Edward anyway, sounds like it's from a few hundred years back. Anything interesting about this Edward?" A new student was something that happened so rarely in Forks, it deserved some attention.
"You bet," Alice almost screamed. "I heard he got expelled after beating up a teacher. A real bad ass, they say. They don't make them like that here."
I had to agree with her on that. Most of the guys in Forks were kind of boring, not that I was particularly interested in guys. I didn't have time for that kind of teenage nonsense.
"Okay" I sighed. What time should we get to Emmett's?" I asked.
"I'll pick you up after six o'clock," Alice said and I just knew she was grinning at the other end of the line. "And if you want to impress this Edward I'd suggest you wear that new black dress you got a few weeks back."
"I don't have any intensions of impressing the new guy," I said.
"That's what they all say," Alice said and hung up before saying goodbye, as usual.
I made sure Mom and Dad were both calm and sleeping – Mom in her bed, Dad on the living room carpet – and got ready for the evening. I also made sure I did not wear the black dress. I did wear extra tight jeans and a dark blue top that was quite revealing, though.
When Alice picked me up at a quarter after six, I was ready to leave. I left a note on the kitchen table, in case one of my parents happened to miss me while I was gone, which I doubted.
Alice wore a tight, red dress that, in my opinion, was a little too short. Her short, black hair was messy as always and her black eyeliner made her eyes look dark and mysterious.
"Ready to party?" Alice asked as I hopped into her car.
"Always am," I said. I wasn't as social as Alice but I didn't mind getting out of the house and having something else to occupy my mind. After all, there wasn't that much to do in Forks. Practically the only options were partying and, well, reading. And since I found reading boring, I stuck with the partying.
I got comfortable in the passenger seat and turned the radio up. They were playing a new song from a band I liked and I sang along as we drove through the already darkening night. I rolled down the window, even though it was September and the air was chilly. I liked the way the wind felt on my face; it made me feel alive, almost happy…
We didn't speak much on the way to Emmett's place. The thing I loved about my friendship with Alice was that we never had to speak to fill the silence. Sometimes I thought she was the only person in the world I could really be myself with.
After a while Alice pulled in to Emmett's driveway. His house was big and fancy. The McCarty were one of the oldest families in Forks – and one of the richest. There was a light on in every window and we could already hear the muffled music and laughter from outside.
Alice rang the doorbell and Jasper soon opened the door. Jasper was Alice's boyfriend. I didn't know him that well, but I thought he was nice enough. He had blue eyes, light, curly hair and a friendly nature.
"Hello, gorgeous," he said and wrapped Alice in his arm and kissed her on the mouth.
"Hi Bella," he said then, smiling at me.
"Hi Jasper," I answered, stepping inside after Alice.
We walked into Emmett's living room. There was already a good crowd, even though it was early. The music was loud and everyone was laughing and seemed to be having a good time. I left Alice and Jasper alone and found my way to the large kitchen where I poured myself a drink.
"Nice to see you here, Bella," Mike Newton said stepping in front of me.
I raised my eyebrows. "Is it?"
"It is, indeed," Mike said. "Maybe you'll save me a dance or two later."
"Maybe…" I smiled. "…or, maybe not."
Mike winked at me. "Well maybe it wasn't just a dance I was after."
I rolled my eyes. Mike Newton was probably one of the worst players in Forks, and apparently he had taken it upon himself to bother me every chance he got. He knew I would never give him what he wanted, but he still enjoyed teasing me now and then. That was fine by me. It was fun messing around with him; since that was all it would ever be. I would never want anything more from him than some innocent flirting.
"I'm quite sure it wasn't," I said biting my lip. "I'm also quite sure you're never going to get what you want."
"Keep telling yourself that, darling," Mike said.
"I will. I'll also keep telling you that," I answered. "Darling."
Mike laughed softly. "In that case if you'll excuse me; I need to give some attention to the other ladies too."
"Feel free to do that," I grinned and watched him walk away as I sipped from my gin and tonic.
I spent the next fifteen minutes sipping my drink. It wasn't until I was on to my second drink that I started to feel relaxed. As I drank and felt the alcohol take effect I could almost understand why Dad thought that it was the easy option. It helped to dull everything. I wondered if he drank as a way of coping with Mom. My mother was a manic-depressive and had been on medication for about five years now. You might have thought the medication would have made things easier, but it didn't. So Dad started drinking more often and I wanted to get out of the house more often. I couldn't wait to graduate from high school and get the hell out of this shithole I had spent my whole damn life in.
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I noticed that Emmett's living room and kitchen were now full of people. The music was loud and someone had moved the couches against the walls, so that there was a kind of dance floor in the middle of the room which was already full.
It looked like it was going to be a good party but I hadn't seen that Edward yet.
Of course, just as I was thinking about him I saw Edward Cullen for the first time. He had just stepped into the living room and I knew it was him.
Obviously I knew everyone my age in Forks, so it wasn't that hard to pick him out. He reminded me of Jasper and Emmett, not in looks, but they all had the same self-confidence, like the three of them belonged together or something.
I took a good look at him as he made his way past the dance floor. He had kind of brownish bronze hair and green eyes. He was average height and weight and I could just make out some muscle definition through his t-shirt. I had to admit he was a good-looking guy. The way he smiled and tucked his hands deep in pockets, it made him look just a bit dangerous, kind of rebellious, I liked it.
He passed just a little too closely to Jessica Stanley and she shot him a meaningful look. For some reason it irritated me. Jessica was a slut and I usually didn't care who she slept with but being all over the new kid was just so obvious.
Still apart from his good looks, I wasn't really interested. I just didn't care and when the novelty had worn off, none of those girls would care either.
Yes, it was that superficial; welcome to small town life.
Edward sat on one of the couches at the back of the room looking like he owned the house. He was immediately surrounded by a few girls. He seemed to quite enjoy himself as he sat there drinking his scotch.
"That's him!" Alice said excitedly as she grabbed my hand.
"I figured that out," I said.
"Isn't he sexy," Alice sighed. "And he seems really fun too."
"You have a boyfriend, his cousin, Jasper Whitlock, remember?" I said wrapping my other hand around her.
"I can still look at other boys," Alice pointed out. "Just look at those eyes. If you have a chance take a look at his—"
"Alice!" I interrupted. "That's enough."
"Okay. Now go talk to him," Alice said pushing me lightly.
"Hahaha and make a great first impression as a cheap, desperate slut like Jessica," I laughed. "No way!"
Alice looked thoughtful. "You're probably right. So keep some distance, but remember to glance over at him once in a while, he'll get curious pretty soon."
"I don't want him to get curious," I said. "This is not some big "seducing Edward Cullen" project. It's insane; everyone seems to be obsessed with him already."
Alice glared at me with her 'I don't believe you but I don't wanna fight' look and I said nothing.
After a few hours, and quite a few drinks, I was starting to get hot and my head was spinning. Somehow Alice managed to drag me to the dance floor.
I was swaying around with my hands above my head. My hair was in my face and stuck to my lip gloss. I loved the way you could lose yourself in the music and the freedom it brought.
After a few songs, I stumbled to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. Since I was hot after all the dancing I decided to cool down on the front porch. There were a few people smoking, so I walked away from them and sat in one of the corners. I rested my head against the wall and breathed in deeply.
The air was cool and a light breeze was blowing through my messy hair, I found it calming. I pressed the cold glass against my forehead.
"Looking for some fresh air?
I knew it was him even before he even sat beside me. Apparently, Alice was right, he did get curious.
Edward smiled a slightly drunken smile at me.
"Yes," I answered, not smiling back and not meeting his eye.
He lit a cigarette and we didn't say a word.
"You know smoking is bad for your health," I said when I couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit," Edward spluttered but he was grinning, clearly not offended.
I shrugged. "Well then, I won't give a shit when you die of lung cancer."
Edward laughed. "Outspoken, aren't we?"
I snorted and gulped from my glass.
We sat there silently and Edward tapped his feet against the wooden floor.
Finally he sighed. "So Edward, how do you like Forks? Welcome. Nice to meet you," he said sarcastically. "Thanks for asking I really like Forks, especially the friendly and talkative people here."
"Haha, very funny," I said. He was starting to irritate me already, which wasn't good. "Maybe not every girl is interested in you, even though you are the new guy."
"Aren't we grumpy?" Edward said calmly.
"Can you just stop speaking like that?" I snapped.
"Like what?" Edward asked innocently.
I glanced at him and he smiled back. For some reason his smile irritated me even more, and you didn't want to get me irritated, especially when I was drunk. I'd proven that before.
I stood up and was turning around to go inside when he said.
"Hey Bella! Save me a dance?"
I gave him the finger and marched inside. Only when I was back in the living room, did I wonder how he knew my name, since I'd never told him.
"By the way, Alice," I said when I passed her. "The new guy is an asshole."
