Author: Loteva

Title: The Secret Admirer

Genre: Humour/Romance

Written: 21-26.09.2012

Standard disclaimer applies.

A/N: My first fanfiction for "Fairy Tail"! Enjoy!


Lucy didn't know she had a secret admirer. If she had even the slightest inkling of such a possibility, she would have probably been scared out of her wits, thinking him to be an old lecher or another disgusting creep. The truth was, he was anything but.

They have known each other for quite a long time before he finally realized the extent of his feelings for Lucy. The epiphany wasn't spectacular. It didn't come during some unusual circumstances – far from it – he just helped her out as any good friend would do and all she did was to thank him with that bright, warm smile of hers. It brought him such a strong burst of pure, overwhelming happiness that he felt as if he was going to explode from the overabundance of it. The joy was so acute that every cell of his body was singing with it, electrified into over-awareness, making him feel more alive than ever. All of it because Lucy graced him with a smile of gratitude and it was meant only for him and him alone.

It was then the realization finally struck and the dots connected in his mind. The nervous jitters in his stomach that only appeared in her presence or the strange flutters that disturbed his normally steady heartbeat whenever she called his name with that sweet voice weren't caused by catching a cold, which sign he usually dismissed them as, but were a reaction of his body to this unknown emotion coursing through him. He couldn't believe he was stupid enough to even think it was a cold, while he'd never had one in his life. For him, it was virtually impossible, after all!

Falling in love for the first time quickly proved to be a bigger and crazier adventure he'd embarked on than anything he would have dreamed of. The emotional rollercoaster that he's experienced was downright torturous. Basking in Lucy's radiant presence, being called on, smiled or cutely pouted at by her – all of it gave him such bliss, he was floating on cloud nine for hours after that. Also, he found he was completely in tune with Lucy's own emotions – basically her happiness equalled his happiness. Unfortunately, it worked the other way round too – her upset besides causing in him the desperate urge to comfort her which would give away too much about him than he was willing to reveal, often became a main reason for his own drastic drop in mood and subsequent depression, only deepened by his inability to console her lovingly like he wanted to.

He's seen Lucy unhappy many times; when she was tired, he could easily remedy her discomfort and it gave him a chance to touch her inconspicuously. Holding her up, being leaned on or even carrying her was bringing him a sense of fulfillment and wonder, because he wanted to be needed by her. Not to mention her body fitted against his so perfectly, like they were meant for each other.

When Lucy was sad, he just tried to be there for her. He wasn't good with words, but he could take care of her during her moments of weakness and vulnerability. It had to be enough, because as a friend he was incapable of giving her any more than that.

But even sad Lucy, while being a heartbreaking sight for his eyes, wasn't enough to scare him. Only one who terrified him beyond measure was Lucy in mortal danger. Once, when he had saved her life just in the nick of time, he hadn't realized how close she had brushed with death until much later when he mused that if not for his strong feelings he probably wouldn't have gotten there as fast. This horrifying possibility of her dying made him feel hollow and cold, so he tried his best not to dwell on it.

Another emotion which was tormenting him was jealousy. He absolutely despised men who only cared about Lucy's body. The way they would stare at her lustfully made him grit his teeth and tremble with suppressed rage. He wished to punish them by plucking the eyes out from their skulls, so no lecherous gaze would rest on Lucy ever again. Concurrently, he longed to be free to display his affection for her openly, as it didn't stem from a mere physical attraction. He was drawn to Lucy by her inner beauty which shined from the core of her kind soul.

No matter how deep his feelings ran, he couldn't allow himself to act upon them. It pained him to admit it even to himself, but he wasn't cut out to be the ideal boyfriend for Lucy. For example, he lacked the sense of fashion which she valued so much. He wasn't too much into clothes to begin with, so if they ever went out on a date, he would probably embarrass her.

He would keep his distance, coming to the rescue whenever she needed him, providing his care and protection, too afraid to risk ruining the comfortable friendship they had established. There was no reason for it, as he already knew Lucy wouldn't ever reciprocate his feelings.

He would stay her secret admirer forever. After all, even the universe was against them, separating them into two different planes of existence, only briefly allowed to cross them.

Lucy's secret admirer stirred from his musings as he felt the pull of her call, which he so eagerly awaited.

'Open the gate to the clock! Horologium!'

The End