Light da Vampire

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!!

This is yet another request for cracky stuff. My friend wanted Light turning into a vampire. LOL! I actually thought it would be quite feasible and all! Anywho, without further ado, Light da Vampire.

If you wake up in the middle of the night, there's usually something wrong. If you wake up in the middle of the night and there's someone standing over your bed, it's time to be scared. But if you wake up in the middle of the night and there's a ruddy vampire standing over your bed, start bloody screaming.

Unfortunately, Light Yagami didn't quite get this philosophy.

Light sat up with a jolt, only to find a guy about six feet tall leering down at him as he stared up at him, shivering in his Superman pyjamas. The guy had shoulder length untidy hair, and he could see gasses reflecting the moonlight, hiding crimson eyes.

"Mikami?" whispered Light.

"Yes Lord!" boomed Mikami, "I am here to make you IMMORTAL!"

"Ummm....good for you. I need some shut eye, so can you keep it down?"

"Yes Lord. Sorry Lord."

"Oh no, it's cool, I just have a show down with L planned for tomorrow, y'know, gotta look my best."

"Of course Lord. Good luck!"

"Thanks buddy!"

And with that, Light returned to his slumbers.

"Awww, fuck! Mah neck is freakin' killing!" moaned Light as he trudged to the bathroom. Alas, it was occupied.

"OI! SAYU! HURRY IT UP IN THERE YOU WHORE!"

"Light, it's your father."

Shit.

Light couldn't concentrate during the meeting. He found his eyes being constantly drawn towards L. More importantly, towards his throbbing artery. He couldn't keep his gaze away. There was something about L that was so....

"Delicious...."

"Excuse me?"

L looked shocked. He was staring at his nemesis as if he had fallen off his rocker.

"Um.... YOUR CAKE! It looks delicious!"

".......yeah......."

Phew. That was close.

"Hey Matsuda, watcher doing?"

Matsuda turned slightly.

"Oh, L sent me to the store cupboard to get him some spoons so he can eat three different ice creams at once."

"Ya want some help in there?"

"Sure, I can't quite reach the cutlery!"

Light slid through the door into the dark cramped storage cupboard. Slowly, he slipped his arms around Matsuda's waist, leaning his head over his shoulder, so that he could see that main artery pumping blood.

"PERVERT!!!!" screamed Matsuda.

All of a sudden, L and Aisawa burst through the door, to find Light running his tongue along Matsuda's neck.

L smacked him over the head with a wok.

"Owwwwwwwwwww!"