Just wanted to take a shot at writing short stories. First time for everything.
STORY RATING: PG-13/T For Teens. The usual.
DISCLAIMER: I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that the Touhou Project belongs to ZUN by now.
TOUHOU PROJECT
MISHAPS OF THE EASTERN WONDERLAND
1st Tale
Karma's Bad Influence
Youkai Mountain was a well known landmark. The majestic natural elevation lies in the whimsical land of Gensokyou. The mountain was home to a fraction of the land's fantastic creatures that ranged from spirits, youkai, and actual deities. The mountain was indeed a beautiful and scenic location to behold. However, it wasn't devoid of dangers. Reputedly, Youkai Mountain was as much as a dangerous place as it was fantastical. Many youkai that live there prey on humans...
And... there was a human, oddly enough, that preys on youkai.
"Heh heh heh... What do ya know? Two little monsters that are roaming carelessly in these neck of the woods this evening," a teal haired young woman said with an impish grin. "And it looks like it is your lucky night because you get to tangle with me."
"It was her idea!" A blonde youkai girl exclaimed in apprehension. She clenched her ribs in pain and her black dress has multiple tears in it. She was pointing to her partner in crime, a karakasa girl. "Honest!"
"Nah-uh!" The karakasa retorted in desperation. She had bruises on her body. "You told me that you were bored and hungry! So I thought I bring you over here because I smell someone's cooking."
"I eat humans, not mortal goddesses!" Rumia hollered with tears in her eyes. "What were you thinking, Kogasa? You brought me over to the Moriya Shrine! Really! This is the last place you've should of brought me to!"
"But the food smells so good!" Kogasa whined. "I couldn't help-"
"Silence."
The poor youkai girls dutifully shut, what they call, the fuck up. Kogasa made a zipping gesture while Rumia clamped her trap shut with both of her hands.
The curvacious wind priestess tap the gohei in her hands like a drill sergeant. "So, you cute little devils are hungry, eh? Maybe I should have you two over for dinner this evening."
Rumia looked hopeful while stars littered her eyes. "Really?"
Kogasa's flat tummy growled loudly. It almost sounded like a fart. "Ooh! What's for dinner tonight?"
There was a wicked glint in Sanae's amber eyes as she made the announcement, "Youkai stew."
The forgotten youkai and the youkai of the dark embraced one another in sheer terror. "WAAAAHH!"
Sanae grabbed Rumia by the throat with her right hand and snatched Kogasa by her hair with her left. "And you girls are the main ingredients!"
"Somebody help us!" The terrified umbrella youkai shrieked.
As if the gods themselves answered Kogasa's call, a blur of midnight blue, yellow, and white suddenly arrived on the scene. The youkai girls' savior grabbed the maniacal Sanae by two of her sensitive areas. "Ahh! I'm ticklish there, Suwa-"
In an instant, everything went pitch black along with those sounds of many lethal blows being landed on the ambushed priestess. The moment passed just as fast as it came and Sanae was lying on the ground. The wind priestess was laid out along with the swirly eyes. The savior, much smaller than Sanae, stood over the fallen miko. There was a glowing symbol that read 'Kero' on her back. Suwako Moriya, the adorable ancient little girl, regarded both Kogasa and Rumia. "It looks like my child is being quite a bother to you two."
"That tickled," Sanae moaned from the ground.
Rumia and Kogasa was still in each others arms, shiver and shaking. If Sanae was the 'child', then who's to say that the little girl that Sanae came from was just as bad? If not, worse than the demented girl? "Please don't hurt us!" Kogasa pleaded.
"We were hungry, that's all!" Rumia cried.
"Ah. Why didn't you say so?" Suwako told the frightened girls with a motherly smile on her face. "I've cooked a lot of food this evening. It wouldn't hurt if I had more guests at the shrine for dinner."
"Guests? What guests?" Sanae wondered as she pried herself off the dirt. "You didn't tell about having guests for tonight, Suwako-sama."
"I'm the adult and you're the child," Suwako retorted while lolling her tongue out like a six year old girl. "Besides, it's my cooking and I can invite people when I want to. You have no say-so what so ever. So there!"
The youkai girls stared at the bickering duo for a moment. They know of the simple fact that the little girl with the weird hat was among the oldest gods in existence. But it was very odd to see her bossing the seemingly mature Sanae like a child. If one didn't know any better, it may be assumed that it should be the other way around.
Rumia whispered in Kogasa's ear. "I know who I'm praying to later on."
"Agreed," Kogasa replied quietly. Suwako just acquired two faith points.
TWO HOURS LATER
"... and then Marisa was like 'I didn't steal a damn thing from Reimu. It's not like there's anything in that donation box in the first place. Ze'." Yukari Yakumo laughed. She was as nearly drunk as a skunk and loving every minute of it. "Then Reimu said 'That's a pretty cold thing to say'." At least her words still came out coherently.
Kanako Yasaka, ancient war goddess, and the source of Sanae's bad influence, giggled like a schoolgirl. "So it was you that stopped them from beating each other to a pulp. That's hilarious!"
"I know, right? Hahahaha!" The super youkai guffawed. That's right, ya heard it. Super youkai. The same can be said for Yuuka Kazami.
Sanae ate her meal with a look of pure dissatisfaction evident on her face. Not that Suwako's meal wasn't good, it was quite delicious actually. What bothered her were the guests of tonight's dinner: Kogasa Tatara, Rumia, Yukari Yakumo, and the haunting Koishi Komeiji. She chewed on a piece of green pepper fervently. Just what in the heck was Suwako-sama thinking when she invited them? They're youkai, for Kanako's sake.
"Would anyone like more tea?" Suwako offered as she entered the dining room with a pot of green tea.
"Yes ma'am," Kogasa replied jovially while holding out her cup.
"Thank you, Miss Suwako," Koishi giggled.
"I want more bell peppers and beef," Rumia said after devouring a mouthful of rice. That was, like, her third serving of food. Damn, that little youkai can eat!
Sanae wanted to strangle them- especially Rumia. The little freak was consuming most of the food like she had never eaten anything in her life. "That's enough. You've been through three plates. At this rate you'll be fat in no time."
Rumia gulped an entire cup of tea in one slurp. "Don't worry your crazy head. I can't get fat. I have a very high me... uh... met... meta... metamorphosis. So I'm good."
Sanae sighed. "With the way you eat, you can even give Yuyuko a run for her money. And it's metabolism, you dolt."
"Yea, that's the word I'm looking for," Rumia confirmed with a fanged grin. "Besides, if this is the kind of food you eat everyday..." she gazed down at her chest. "I'm bound to have a pair of nice knockers like you someday."
Sanae wasn't sure she heard that little twerp right. "What did you just say?"
Rumia was oblivious to the imminent danger she was in. "I mean, look at em. They're ripe as a fruit." Rumia sealed her fate when she made a grab for Sanae's boobs and squeezed them. "Honk! Honk!"
Suddenly, everything went quiet along with an awkward pause.
Yukari broke the silence. "Ooh shit..."
Sanae's face was as red as a beet. An instant later, she made a war cry and a small cloud of darkness was flying through the stratosphere like a shooting star. Suwako grew upset. "Sanae! That is no way to treat a guest! And I don't appreciate the Rumia-shaped hole on the ceiling!"
"That was hot." Yukari chuckled as she took another swig of sake. Then, imitating a male's voice, she said "Falcon Paaawnch!"
Sanae abruptly stood to on her feet in a rage. "She violated me, Suwako-sama! Didn't you just saw what happened? She got what was coming to her!"
"Meh. I guess that's the downside of having big boobs," Suwako retorted nonchalantly. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it."
Sanae's eyes were now giant white dots. "What?"
"Indeed," Yukari spoke out of the blue. "Having an ample chest are both a blessing and a burden." She glanced down at her luscious pearls. "I share your pain, Sanae-chan."
"Plus," Koishi followed, "you look magically delicious." Oh... kay...
Sucks to be her, Kogasa thought. She was sipping her tea like nothing happened.
Kanako laughed. She was just as drunk as Yukari. "Aww. You're no fun, Sanae-chan. You've could of let her gotten away with a feel."
Sanae eyed everyone in the room with disbelief. Despite her humiliation by the hands of Rumia (literally), everyone else was having a good time. With her blood boiling in anger, the godling decided to put her foot down on the matter. "Just what in the hell is wrong with you people?" She spat, glaring at Suwako. "What is the point of tonight's meal? What is the point of inviting youkai over to the shrine?"
"I just wanted some company, that's all." Suwako replied simply. "And what better youkai to invite than the high caliber ones like the ladies here this evening?"
"What?" Sanae scoffed. "You're gonna invite Yuuka over for movie night this weekend?"
"Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea." Suwako considered.
"You're serious aren't you?" Sanae blanched. Yukari being present in the Moriya household was bad enough, but getting Yuuka to come over is like allowing hell on earth. "Of all the different creatures that lives in Gensokyou, why did you have to invite youkai?"
"Well aren't you the specist?" Yukari chimed in a mock hurt tone of voice. "Gods don't discriminate. Where's the love?"
"You just shut your drunk ass up already," Sanae retorted to the being that can very well reduce her to dust on a whim.
Luckily, Yukari pouted, her lips mimicking the bill of a duck. "Specist. You're such a meanie." She muttered.
"Whatever. I can't take any more of this," Sanae announced. "I'm going to my room." She promptly dismissed herself from the group and stomped out of the dining room. "Good night, ya freaks."
Once Sanae was gone, Suwako shouted, "That's it! Go to your room, young lady!"
"Uh, don't ya think that it's kinda late to say that now that she's gone?" Koishi wondered.
"Who cares..." Suwako remarked as she filled another cup of tea. "So she's a little angry. She'll sleep it off."
SANAE'S ROOM
AN HOUR LATER
The young Moriya priestess was sitting near her bed while typing on her laptop furiously. Tonight was very uneventful. The most powerful youkai in existence and a mighty satori from hell was right in her abode, eating and chattering with the gods. How could Suwako allow such a thing? Sure, the youkai in Gensokyou supplied a massive amount of faith to the gods, but being buddy-buddy with two high level youkai was unacceptable. What's worse, Kanako trained her in the art of youkai extermination and it seemed that she didn't mind the company of those... creatures.
Sanae's amber eyes glinted in anger as she typed a post on her Fiddle page. My no nonsense grandmother invited some unsavory guests over for dinner tonight. Worst night ever!
Mere moments ago, laughter can be heard coming from the dining room but now it was oddly quiet. Maybe Yukari and the other youkai left already? If so, then good riddance! She thought about posting on Headnotes and checking out the latest info on Culturepokes but decided otherwise. It was getting late. She logged off her Fiddle page and changed clothes. She donned on a white T-shirt and a pair of red bloomers. "Well, there's no use complaining about it." Sanae said to herself. "What's done is done."
She turned off the room light and hopped on her bed. Goodnight to me. I have a long day tomorrow. I'm going to have to be extra tough on youkai from now on.
As she snuggled beneath the comforter, she felt something soft- incredibly soft. She was pretty sure it wasn't a pillow nor a animal plushie. Sanae groped at whatever the heck it was behind her for a moment. What in the world?
"Ara..." a woman's voice cooed. "Earlier you made it clear that you hated youkai during the meal. But here you are, feeling on my chest. And you call yourself a good girl."
Sanae shrieked in alarm and uncovered the intruder in her bed. "Yukari!"
"In the flesh, sweetheart." Yukari relayed seductively. She had on a purple neglige and nothing else. "Your bed is mighty comfortable, too. I like it."
"Yukari, what are you doing here in my room?" Sanae demanded, her heart racing. For all she know the boogeyman was right there in her bed.
There was a lustful smirk on Yukari's full lips. "Ya know, what you said earlier hurt me, Sanae-chan. You weren't behaving goddess-like this evening."
"Does it matter?" Sanae retorted in apprehension. "You're smashed. You need to leave. Now."
"Heh heh heh..." Yukari chuckled darkly. "You're being mean once again. Don't be like that."
"Leave now, Yukari," Sanae warned the super youkai with growing fear. "Leave before I grab my gohei and vanquish you." That is, if I could...
"Fufufu... you have such remarkable legs," Yukari commented while trying to touch Sanae. "Especially your thighs. Suwako-chan created a legacy of beautiful children." She makes a grab for Sanae's bloomers and caught a hold of the waistband. Sanae slapped the youkai's offending hand and backed away in horror. "Wow, they're black. Nice."
"Yukari, please... just leave..." Sanae pleaded as she snatched her gohei from a nearby desk. "I don't want to do this..."
Noticing the look of fear mixed with determination in her eyes, Yukari clicked her tongue. "Tch. Oh please..." She suddenly vanished for a instant and reappeared right behind Sanae. "Like you can really do such a thing to me. Let alone besting me in a non danmaku battle. Even Reimu knows not to try me like that."
"Yu... Yukari..." Sanae uttered as she tried to raise her weapon. Yukari seized Sanae's hand that was holding the gohei. "You're scaring me."
The great gap youkai wrapped her arms around the miko's waist and sniffed her hair. "You smell good, child. You smell like strawberries."
"Leave... before I summon Suwako-sama," came another of her ultimatums. Her eyes widened when she felt a warm hand on her derriere. "IIIY-"
Yukari clamped a hand over the helpless miko's mouth. "Shh. No need for screaming. Besides, no one will hear you scream. I configured the border between sound and silence so no one would hear us." She hauled the frightened girl onto the bed. "Now... let's begin shall we?"
"I am a girl, Yukari!" Sanae exclaimed desperately. Was that reference really necessary? "You're not getting away with this!"
"I don't care," Yukari grinned sinisterly. "Heh heh heh... after what goes down tonight, you are going to love youkai for now on. That's karma for you." The youkai sage slithered on top of the frightened miko. "It's showtime, baby. Open up for Mama Yukari."
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Outside the Moriya Shrine, Suwako, Kogasa, and Koishi heard Sanae's scream. Kanako was unconscious, whether it was all the alcohol she drank or that huge knot on her head. It appears that Yukari was only joking about the 'sound configuration' part. Because they can hear the wind miko's cry for help.
Kogasa voiced her concerns. "Isn't she going to be okay? That is Yukari Yakumo in there with your child, remember?"
"Yea, don't you think Sanae-chan learned her lesson by now?" Koishi wondered. "I mean, judging by the sounds of her screams she sounds pretty good and scared."
Suwako chuckled mysteriously as she propped on the large Kero Hammer she was holding on to. "Don't worry, children. I will allow this facade to play out a little while longer. Besides, it sounds like they're having fun in there."
From Sanae's room, they gang heard a cry of "Give me back my panties!" Followed by a naughty chuckle. "Oh ho ho! I wonder how much Rinnosuke would pay for these wonderful lacy black undergarments?"
"Ya see," Suwako announced to the youkai girls. "She'll be fine. Ol Gappo is just giving my baby a good scare. That will teach her not to bully youkai anymore. From now on, if she's going to harm youkai, it better be a good reason." She pointed towards the sleeping Kanako. "That grape haired hag was a bad influence to my Sanae-chan. Thanks to her, my baby has become a youkai hunting lunatic."
The ancient girl's words were mighty noble, but subjugating her very own grandchild to the whims and lust to Yukari Yakumo didn't seem right. "If you say so." Kogasa mentioned. "At the very least, Rumia would be glad to hear about this."
Koishi nodded her head. "Karma is definitely not to be trifled with."
END OF TALE
Well, there goes the first chapter in the collection. Hopefully I will be able to finish the update to my main story shortly after posting this fic. Til then.
Oh! That's write. I've already started on the second tale. Here's a sneak peek:
"What is your name?" The dungeon keeper demanded.
Inside the murky dungeon, there was a young girl who was chained to the wall. She has multiple wounds across her arms and legs and her sundress was drenched in blood. Her once lilac hair was soaked in such much blood that is was now black. The girl grunted as a rat scurried towards an open wound on her foot to lick blood from it. She didn't care. She didn't care about the men that captured her.
All she cared about were her mother and sister. Her mother was dead. Her younger sister was missing.
"What is your name?" The vampire hunter repeated in a harsh tone.
"Re... Rem... Ghk!" She suddenly gasped when the rat began nibbling on her toes. In annoyance, her toenails transformed into razor sharp claws. One of the claws impaled the rodent, sending it to the hereafter.
"I said... what is your name?"
The girl finally raised her head, revealing her face that was devoid of emotions to the hunter. Licking the dry blood off her lips, the girl spoke. In was a raspy reply, but the vampire hunter heard the girl clearly.
"Remilia... Remilia Monreau...
NEXT TALE
Scarlet Fate
A/N: Perverted Yukari... had to bring this tale to an end before things got too kinky and R-rated. Don't worry, Sanae's okay.
