Chapter One:
The bustling in the room finally had ended once the door was closed. Despite of everything, the "changes" (as the Gleeks, her oldest, dearest friends/family noted), the NY Post's and almost every tabloid cover's title of "Broadway's Ultimate Diva Darling", Rachel Berry was, for this moment, just Rachel Berry.
Rachel stood in front of the full length mirror and stared at her reflection. She forced herself to focus on whether or not her hair was perfect, or if her makeup was just right, or if her dress flowed flawlessly around her. Her future mother-in-law, Kurt and Mercedes had pre-approved everything, so of course, it was flawless. Especially after the last bridal boutique throw-down between the Mom (Mrs. Hudson) and the Mama (Mrs. Puckerman) with Kurt and the Gleek girls trying to prevent the staff from calling the police, the dress had better be flawless. In order to schedule fittings and proper adjustments, Quinn had to resort to being the Queen Ice Bitch to the boutique staff, and Mercedes had threatened all to rants that she'd "cut a bitch" and "take them to the carpet" if the dress wasn't flawless. It also helped that her best friend had personally come by to properly inform the boutique's owner of the following through with said-consequences of not helping Rachel's wedding party. Rachel had honestly wanted something simple, but, after months of searching and the fiasco between the moms, she flipped a coin and let Mrs. Hudson, Kurt and Mercedes pick one out. So, Rachel's dress was flawless.
Did the necklace she wore really match the bracelet and earrings? Santana had lovingly stated they were perfect for the former "man-hands". Rachel had wanted something simpler, like her Star of David necklace and simple studs, but she was getting to married to a Hudson. There were certain traditions in the Hudson family per her future mother-in-law, and Santana became Rachel's go-to- person for the accessories. Rachel still could not believe that the fiery Latina was not only her friend, but she was also her personal Naomi Campbell bodyguard with regards to "removing the paparazzi from overtaking her life." Rachel shook her head thinking about the hours of community service Santana had completed after Jacob Ben-Israel hadn't kept away from Rachel. It did not matter that Rachel had placed a restraining order; after she moved out of her best friend's apartment, Ben-Israel was no longer afraid of her ex-Roomie's previous threats. So, "Jew-Fro" had it coming; it being the Louis Vuitton season It bag with enough crap to give him a concussion. Of course, the hand-bag incident led to the perfect wedding jewelry, which had the approval of Rachel's future mother-in-law. So, the necklace, the bracelet and earrings were perfect.
Should she have gone with a different bouquet? Brittany did say that it was perfect to capture rainbows and bluebirds for luck. Rachel did not even bother to even ponder on what that meant during the flower-shop visits with Brittany. When they had picked the flowers, Brittany had smiled and hugged Rachel, stating that the flowers would fly like bluebirds to her true love and sing for her a duet. Her best friend had snickered when Rachel informed him during the rehearsal dinner. The Badass let her know that he didn't know about rainbows or bluebirds, but he did know that it was part of the Brittany philosophy of life to praise the rainbows. Rachel looked at her flowers, and they were vibrant and beautiful for her wedding.
Did the beading on the shoes really compliment the beading on her gown? Tina had almost cried tears of joy. After 5 hours of shoe shopping with Rachel, they had found the pair. If it was one-thing that Rachel was sure about, her shoes were comfortable.
Was her train too long? Mrs. Hudson, or as she insisted Rachel to call her, "Mom", had wanted more yardage (a la Princess Diana) for the Hudson propriety. Thank God for Quinn stating that Rachel was too short for more fabric. Mrs. Hudson had relented while Quinn, Kurt and Mercedes had high-fived each other. In all honesty, Rachel was still afraid that she would probably trip and kill herself on the way to the altar. Well, she was going to be flanked by her Dad and Daddy, and Mama Puckerman would be adjusting her train, so the train was ok.
Did the hairstyle really work with the veil and tiara? Yes, there really was a tiara, despite all the cracks Noah, her best friend, had made and her insistence that said alleged tiara didn't exist. Noah Puckerman, her constant, her protector, her rock, her ex-Roomie. When the wedding details, her Broadway schedule, Finn, or her bridal party were getting too much for her to handle, there was her Noah with a grape slushie for her to drink (not for a facial) and "West Side Story", kidnapping her to his apartment (formerly their apartment) to relax, unwind and vent. Even though he teased her and didn't really help with anything for the wedding, Rachel thanked God for her best friend.
Concentrating on the nitpicky details of her appearance and the related memories distracted her, albeit only superficially, from the real worries crossing her mind: Was Finn really the right guy for her? Did she really love him? Did she really want to spend the rest of her life with him? How did she get here?
She let out a labored sigh as she stepped away from the mirror and looked around the room. She'd finally managed to usher out her Dad, her Daddy, "Mama" Deborah Puckerman, Kurt, Tina, Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Quinn (amazingly, they'd become great friends since Quinn and Noah had broken up after the great "Babygate" and Quinn's miscarriage), "Mom" Carol Hudson (her soon-to-be mother-in-law), the rest of her Julliard bridesmaids, the hair-stylist who kept insisting on 'just one last touch-up' (Thank God for Kurt and his threats of "Touch her one more time, so help me Gucci, and you'll be seeing the end of my…"), the make-up artist who seemed to think Rachel was his very own life-size Barbie (although Rachel had to begrudgingly agree as she took one last look at her appearance that the man was a genius as well as a great boyfriend for Kurt), and everyone else who had poked and prodded and pinned things to her and adjusted a hem or had just generally nagged her (although they probably preferred the term 'offered pearls of wisdom') the last five hours.
She realized that now, essentially at the eleventh hour, standing in the dressing room of the elaborately decorated Cathedral, was probably not the best time to be wondering of the rightness (a Noah "term") of her decision to marry Finn. Especially since she'd now had twelve months to ponder that decision and the ceremony was scheduled to begin in half an hour. She had agreed to Mrs. Hudson's demands, despite the uproar of her Jewish and Glee family (particularly a Noah Puckerman) to a Christian service. Her fathers and the other Gleeks weren't as upset as her best friend. It had been one of the "changes" that her friends and family had privately discussed among themselves, never to her or Finn. Granted, she also had been letting others decide for her in order to make everyone happy, especially the Hudsons. Looking around her dressing room, her thoughts were rushing in and she felt like the high school Rachel and not the Broadway Diva. Was this right? It's just a service, right? I can still be Jewish. It's not a big deal. Right?
The funny thing was, until just a few days ago, she'd never once second-guessed any of her decisions. She'd expected some kind of "cold-feet", but she'd assumed it would have come months ago. Weeks ago even. But not like this. Not so out of left-field. Some doubt, some panic. She'd been prepared for. But not this. Not this sense of…sadness? Dread? Discontentment? Was that what she felt? Anxiety, she was prepared to deal with. But even to her, these feelings she was having seemed odd and out of place. She's freaking Rachel Berry. The most wanted female lead of Broadway and soon to be Mrs. Finn Hudson, the new quarterback for the NY Giants! They were about to become NY royalty. America's Sweethearts! The new Camelot! Come On!
She walked over to her bouquet and let her finger trace one of the perfect, silky, white, rose buds. I'm not going to be able to capture anything with this bouquet. And she felt her heart drop. This just isn't right, she thought to herself. And I have exactly thirty minutes to figure it out before I'm expected to march down that aisle and get married.
She let out another frustrated sigh and walked over to the window. Discreetly moving aside the curtain and peeking out at the people milling into the church. They were smiling and obviously excited. And the thing is, they're excited FOR ME, Rachel thought peevishly. Fine, I understand that a little nervousness is to be expected, but for crying out loud, I'm supposed to be happy. God, I need a grape slushie and Noah. Shit, do I always depend on Noah? I should be depending on Finn. I should feel ready. I should feel like I'm coming home. I should be happy. Right?
