Title: All Those Pretty Lights
Author: y0ungalaska
Summary: The immediate reaction of one could cause your entire world to flip upside down.
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to RIB, I just like to play with the characters a little ;)
Rating: T (It may change... .)
A/N: So, here's the first chapter. I should probably warn you that a) there will be a lot of angst because I was feeling all ... emotional while writing this and B.) I'm not sure how fast the updates will come as I am being swamped with work, but I do hope that you guys enjoy this ride with me. I intend to make it as... well, as great as I possibly can without knowing where it's going.
The day in Lima, Ohio was dreary and wet. The winds whipped harshly and the skies had opened up, allowing a wave of thunder and what seemed to be the equivalent of a million buckets of raindrops to fall. Quinn sat in the corner of the choir room, silent and dazed. Ever since the news had broken about the car accident, the entire Glee Club had been solemn. Mr. Shue had given them all an assignment, which was to find a song, any song that would explain the way they were feeling. He, too, felt the sudden emptiness without one Miss Rachel Berry.
In a matter of days, he'd come to miss her beaming smile and her incessant rambling; the way she'd take charge of almost every meeting. He tried to offer a smile to the kids sitting before him, hoping that it would, somehow, convey that he was there for them, but he'd learned that every single one of these kids were different and they all dealt with things in their own way. Looking up, he noticed Quinn holed up in the corner and away from the rest of the group. She seemed to be taking it the worst and though he couldn't understand why, he made the decision not to push the subject. At least, not now.
The members looked to one another as Mr. Schue asked if anyone wanted to sing a song. He then went on to ask if they maybe wanted to sing, not only what they were feeling, but a sort of dedication to the bouncy brunette who was now laying in a hospital bed. Moments of silence passed between seeking pairs of eyes before Mercedes timidly rose from her seat. "I-I'd like to sing something."
Schuester patted her on the shoulder, giving the girl a small smile, before occupying her seat.
"I, um," Mercedes took a deep breath as her eyes fluttered shut, "I know that we had our bad times, but Rachel and I, we were friends. She pushed me to be a better person all-around and I know that-well, this is for her. And for you guys."
As Brad began moving his fingers over the keys, a melody played out and before long, Mercedes voice was wafting through the confinements of their small choir room.
"I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening, but there's no sound
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Can't somebody come and take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I
I'm with you..."
Quinn, at the sound of Mercedes' voice, immediately curled into herself as much as the plastic orange chair would let her. Her shoulders shook, her tears streaming down her face were coming at a rapid pace. She couldn't. She couldn't sit here and listen to everyone dedicating songs to Rachel as though she were... no. It wasn't true and she wouldn't believe such. The girl was in the hospital, for goodness sakes, she wasn't... Even in her thoughts, she couldn't bring herself to say the word. Not that it mattered, because Rachel was still alive. She was just... hooked up to a lot of tubes and unmoving and in a coma and …
"Oh, God," Quinn muttered before throwing a hand over her mouth. She wasn't sure whether it was to stop from screaming to vomiting, but she knew that she needed to get out of there and fast. Shooting up from her chair, she could hear the faint sound of Mercedes' voice and Mr. Shue calling out to her as she ran past them and out into the empty hallway. She looked left and then right before choosing a direction and taking off. She had no idea where she was headed, but the only thing she knew was that she needed to get out of there, away from those people, away from the emptiness the room now held without Rachel Berry.
Heads turned to and fro, everyone peering at one another. The abrupt exit from the blonde had caused Mercedes to stop singing and now, they were all sitting in this odd and looming silence.
"Uh," Will Shuester tried to speak, but words had failed him horribly.
"I got this." Santana stood up and looked over to her blonde girlfriend. "Britts, I'll be back." With a nod from the blonde, Santana took off out of the classroom in search of her friend.
Quinn pushed her way through the door of the girls' bathroom on the third floor of McKinley High. She knew, from her many make out days with boys, that this bathroom was rarely ever used and the one thing she needed right now was to be alone. But the silence...it was deafening. The sound of the smaller brunette's voice played over and over again in her mind like a broken record. 'Whenever you're ready, okay?'
She shook her blonde hair furiously, attempting to rid her mind of the voice that was haunting her very existence. Everything about her was hurting and what hurt the most is that her heart was completely shattered and no one even knew why. No one understood. How could they? She'd been such a coward, she'd taken time for granted. She'd always put it off one more day because she couldn't allow herself to be...what? To be in love with a girl who'd only showed her nothing but compassion and love, even though she'd treated her as though she was the scum of the earth?
"Damnit!" She screamed into emptiness as she flailed her arms out, swinging at anything and nothing all at the same time. Her tears were falling harder now, her breath was shallow and she was angry. She was angry at herself, angry at whomever had taken away her chance to tell Rachel how she really felt. She was just angry. And hurting. She hurt so bad, it almost felt as though her heart was literally going to break into two pieces as her chest began to tighten up.
'You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. Prettiest girl I've ever met but you're a lot more than that' she heard throughout the silence. "No. No. No." Grabbing on to her hair, she slid herself down the opposite wall across from the door and let out a gutwrenching scream. It didn't matter who could hear her anymore, she felt more alone than she'd ever felt and that only brought on the thought that the only person who ever cared to be there for her, to care, was now lying in a hospital bed... "Please, please, please," she begged to anyone who was listening, "Please let her be okay..."
The door to the bathroom swung open and immediately, Quinn jumped to her feet before her hazel eyes met with those of Santana's.
"Quinn..." Santana's voice was soft. Softer than she'd ever heard it before and for a moment, she contemplated rushing across the empty space and letting her friend hold her while she cried her eyes out. But almost immediately, the anger returned and Quinn was set on the fact that she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to have someone hold her, care for her, while she cried over Rachel. She barely even believed that she deserved to shed a tear for the girl. She'd been nothing but horrible to her for three years, constantly making her life a living hell and Rachel had always been so... so...forgiving. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve any of it.
Santana stood silently and watched the emotions play behind those hazel eyes. She'd known for a while now what Quinn had truly felt for Rachel, but she wasn't going to push her. She didn't want Quinn to have to come out the way that she had, by being forced.
"Hey," the Latina spoke again in a soft voice. Her heart broke for the blonde standing before her and believe it or not, Santana had a heart. She felt terrible about what had happened to Rachel. It was...unfair, to say the least.
"Get out," Quinn growled, her body stiffened as the words left her mouth.
"Q.," Santana tried again only to be cut off, "GET OUT!" Quinn screamed so loud that it caused Santana to take a step back. She'd never heard Quinn so angry and so broken. All she wanted to do was help the girl, to be there for her, but the look in Quinn's eyes told her that it wasn't what she needed right now.
Santana threw her hands up and slowly backed up. Before she made her way out of the bathroom, she turned around and looked into broken, hazel orbs, "You're hurting, Q. I can see it and I know you want to be alone, but I'm here, okay? We're all here." And with that, she let the door close behind her and made her way back through the now crowded halls.
