Title: Giving Me A Chance
Pairing: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Rating: T
Summary: She couldn't condone the wedding because she was in love with Rachel Berry.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to RIB and FOX. I just... wanted to play.
A/N: (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS) Ok, so... I (along with the entire Faberry fandom) have a lot of feelings. And I was going to wait to post this because I wanted to write a second part ... but I needed to get this up and out. I just... I have too many feelings and with the past week (all of the blogs, videos, recognition, that damn picture) and the promo for On My Way, I needed to get this out. I know it seems without an ending and that's because ... I'm not sure if I want to end it there or not. But... alas, here it is. No beta used. All mistakes are my own. OH! Also, This fic was written with the song "Giving Me A Chance" by Gotye on repeat. Take a listen while you're reading. It's my FABERRY song. Ugh.. so many damn feelings ...
"You know I never wanna let you down
It cuts me up to see you sad
And I wish that I could undo what I've done
Get back the faith in me you had..."
Quinn walked into the bridal shop, looking around for a familiar face. She'd known that the girls were there and it was a split-second decision that she'd made to even show up. As the bell rang above the door, she timidly stepped into the shop awaiting help. When the woman walked up to her, she kindly stated that she was a part of the "Berry-Hudson" party and with a smile, she explained her tardiness. The woman smiled, shuffling her off to a dressing room and handing her a dress.
Quinn looked down at the article of clothing and smiled. "It had to be pink," she stated aloud to herself before undressing herself and dawning the pink bridesmaid dress.
After Rachel and Finn had announced their engagement in Glee Club and she'd shown her distaste for the event, Rachel had made it clear that if Quinn wasn't on board than she wasn't invited to the wedding. Firstly, Quinn rolled her eyes because, really … it didn't phase her. But as the day went on, the words continued to play in her mind like a broken record and she couldn't let that happen. She'd been very distant from both Rachel and Finn after the diva had come to her and told her of the news. She needed clarity; time to herself to think and make sense of everything she'd been feeling. And after seeing Brittany and Santana so happy, she'd come to her conclusion.
The reason she couldn't see this wedding through was not because she didn't support Rachel. It wasn't because they were young and she couldn't see them making anything of their lives afterward, though that was her main argument. It was simpler than that.
She couldn't condone the wedding because she was in love with Rachel Berry.
Quinn glanced in the mirror, smoothing out the front of her dress, before tip-toeing the hall in search of the woman who'd helped her before.
"Excuse me, Miss?" Quinn spoke.
"Oh, you look lovely!" The woman exclaimed. "Is there a problem with the dress?"
"No," Quinn looked down and smiled, "I was just wondering if you could show me where the bride's room is? I would love to see her."
"Of course!" The shorter woman shuffled down the hall, only turning around when she'd arrived toward the end of the hall. "This would be the bride's room. Shall I announce you?"
"Oh no, thank you." Quinn gave the woman a small smile and watched as she nodded and then walked away. Stilling herself, she again found her hands running the length of the dress before bringing her hand up to the door and softly knocking three times.
Rachel stood in front of the full length mirror, gazing at herself when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" She bellowed without turning around, her eyes never leaving the image of herself in a wedding dress. She'd been aware of every choice she'd ever made in her life, she'd gone over them three or four times, she'd made lists of pros and cons and she knew that she'd agreed to marry Finn. But standing there, alone, in the wedding dress was just as shocking to her as the day he'd proposed. She felt … everything.
"Hey," Quinn spoke, her eyes never leaving the girl in front of her. Rachel, truth be told, looked absolutely gorgeous in her form-fitting dress. She forced herself to stay still, by the door, because if she moved, who knew what she'd have done.
Rachel looked up at the sound of Quinn's voice. A surprised expression covered her features because, as far as she knew, Quinn wasn't supportive of her decision. Her decision.
"Quinn," the diva spoke with a breathless tone.
"I know I said that I don't …" the blonde allowed her words to trail off because what could she really say? She wasn't going to lie and say that she'd all of a sudden changed her mind. It wasn't right and she knew that lying to the brunette would only end up hurting her. She'd caused her so much pain already and she was trying to break the cycle.
"What are you doing here?" Rachel hardly even allowed her to finish her inner monologue before asking the one question they both were needing an answer to. The icy undertone didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. After all, she'd probably deserved it in some way.
"You wanted to see me in a bridesmaid dress, so..." Quinn straightened her posture as she looked up.
Rachel turned around, chocolate orbs meeting those of hazel, and exhaled. "If you supported us, Quinn. That was the stipulation and it still stands."
Well.
Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes at the diva. Rachel Berry always so straight forward and to the point. Rachel Berry, the girl who refused to see the gray matter in a black and white situation even though it was so obviously there.
"I won't lie to you, Rachel. I don't support this, but we both already know that." She could see that the diva was dying to interject so she threw up a hand. "No. This is my time to talk." Running a hand through her blonde hair, Quinn chanced a step forward before continuing. "I don't support you marrying Finn, but we've … I don't know, something happened between us and we're kind of friends. You came to me when he proposed and I told you about Yale and we had...a moment. So I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I support this because I don't. You know where I stand. But I do support you. I always have. So, that's why I'm here."
Rachel pursed her lips together before nodding slowly. "I understand that you want to be supportive seeing as we've sort of built this weird and complicated friendship, Quinn, but to support me would be to support Finn as well and if you can't do that..."
"No, it's not. It's really not the same thing. I support you, Rachel. I've always supported you. Even when I was being a complete bitch and trying to break you, I supported you. Finn is, he's a boy. He doesn't know right from wrong and half the time he can barely make a decision without giving himself an aneurysm. You are a decision maker. You've had your entire life planned out since you could make plans. And you've wanted nothing more than to make those plans happen. Because I'm your friend... I support you. But only you."
"Quinn..." Rachel exhaled again. This was not the way her day was supposed to be going. In any moment, the rest of the girls would be making their way out to the front where she would meet them and they would talk about their dresses and maybe even have a night out at Breadstix in celebration. Rubbing at her temples, Rachel finally brought her gaze up to meet Quinn's. "Although I support disagreements for the sake of a good argument, I must inform you that you aren't going to win this one. I love Finn, okay? And he loves me. And I've chosen to marry him because I truly believe that he's the one for me. Now, I understand that you feel, as a friend, you need to make me see both sides and I assure you that I have many a PowerPoint presentation on this very subject, but the good always outweighs the bad. I know that I'm doing the right thing. I just wish that you could support me in this."
Quinn could feel herself beginning to overhead. This is exactly why Rachel infuriated her so much. To the point where she couldn't control her temper. The girl just would not listen to reason. It was one of her many faults and Quinn loved her for it, but it could be so frustrating.
"Rachel." She'd brought back that token Fabray attitude because it was the only way she knew to get through to the diva.
"Quinn, listen," Rachel began but was abruptly cut off.
"Rachel. Stop." Quinn spoke through almost gritted teeth. "Just stop...talking." Hazel eyes wandered over every surface of the room before she squared her shoulders and prepared herself. Obviously this gray matter wasn't going to be seen so she needed to make it as black and white as possible. "Do you really think I'm going to stand around and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson?"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Rachel. Do you really think I'm going to idly sit by and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life? Because you're wrong." The two girls stood staring at one another. It was a battle of wills, a battle of emotions and a battle of smoldering feelings that had always lay just beneath the surface of every encounter they'd ever shared. Widened brown eyes looked on as hazel ones bore into her. "I don't care what you do with your life, Rachel, but I will not let you sit by and marry some boy because he thinks he has nothing left in his life to live for. I can't sit by and watch you give up your dreams, because in the end that's exactly what you'll be doing. Finn will whine and complain about how he can't do this or he's not good enough for that and you'll feel sorry for him and you'll do anything to make him feel better because that's who you are. No matter what people do to you, you're always willing to forgive and to help them. I'm a living testament of that."
"I...I..." Rachel stuttered. It wasn't that she couldn't defend herself or her love for Finn, but the look in Quinn's eyes, it was something different; something she'd never quite seen before from the blonde and it stunned her into silence.
"I can't explain everything to you right now. I don't have the time. But know that there's a reason for everything, Rachel. Know that I am not standing here because I want Finn or because I'm just being a bitch. There is a reason for this. Do you understand?"
Rachel stood, hands at her side with lips slightly parted as she shook her head. She didn't understand. She didn't understand why Quinn was here or why she was so adamant on stopping her from marrying Finn. She didn't understand the look in her eyes or the slight hint of pleading in her voice. She didn't understand why this meant so much to the blonde and she wanted to ask. Really, she wanted to, but the words? The words were lodged in her throat. They were fighting to stay locked away just as hard as she was fighting to get them out. The only means of expressing herself were now gathering in her chocolate eyes. Tears were forming, out of nowhere, and she couldn't even fight to stop them.
Quinn looked on and watched the emotions play behind brown orbs. Confusion. Sadness. Fear. Everything that she was trying so hard to shy away from was staring her back in the face. And when the tears began to fall, she had to fight every part of her being to stay standing; to keep her distance. She wasn't in the clear yet and the last thing she'd wanted to do was heighten the fear she'd witnessed in Rachel's eyes.
Expelling a heavy breath, Quinn looked up to the ceiling and blinked a few times before bringing her eyes back down to Rachel.
"I can't let you marry him, Rach. I can't. And I know it sounds like I'm speaking in circles and maybe I am, but you don't belong with him." Pleading. Quinn was very near pleading with Rachel to understand before she'd have to lay it all out on the line. "I can't sit by and watch you marry him."
Shaking her head furiously, Rachel wiped at the tears that were falling freely. "Why?"
"Because I …" Quinn's speech halted; words stuck and unwilling to be said.
"Because what, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she stepped up to the blonde. Her voice was so soft. It was breaking Quinn's heart because Rachel was always the one to wear her heart on her sleeve. She cared. She cared so damn much and that voice, that tone of voice was the one that always got to Quinn. It penetrated every wall, every door and every chain she'd ever had around her heart as though they never existed. It was that same voice that pushed Quinn to tell her every secret to the brunette.
That voice.
Looking up again, this time to try to fight the tears that were sitting just at the rim, she exhaled.
"I can't watch you marry him because I'm in love with you." The last five words were coupled with such a penetrating glance that Rachel had to step back. Her eyes widened even more. She didn't, she couldn't have heard her correctly, right? She didn't just hear Quinn Fabray state that she was in love with her. Rachel Barbara Berry.
"Wha- I mean, you didn't-" Panic set in as the brunette tried her best to speak, but could only conjure up fragmented sentences.
"That is why I can't sit around and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson. Because you're better than that. And I'm not saying that I deserve you, we both know I've done some horrible things to you, but I know that I couldn't just let you do this without you knowing. You needed to know that you have options. That there are other people in this world who love you just as much as you believe only he loves you. I love you just as much."
Rachel whirled around, back to the blonde and shut her eyes so tight she was sure she'd give herself a headache. This was not happening. Was it? She was about to get married to the love of her life only to be told that someone else, someone whom she'd always sought out, someone whom she'd always had this insane connection to, loved her. Loved her. She shook her head violently as the tears continued to cascade down her face.
No. This was not going to happen. This was not going to ruin her chances at a happy and loving marriage. Finn loved her. He loved her. He may not be the college type, but he loved her and that was all that mattered. It was all that needed to matter because in the end, when she was famous and on Broadway, he would still look at her with that goofy grin and she would still know that his love for her never changed. If anything, it would only grow. She'd made decisions with him. She'd given herself to him fully and ..
She turned back around to see Quinn watching her intently. Exhaling, she wiped away a few stray tears before speaking, "Quinn, I am sure that it took a lot for you to come here and tell me.. that, but I need you to understand that I am in love with Finn. I love him and I know that he's it for me. So, I will tell you that I am extremely flattered by your words, but I am still going to marry Finn..." She had started off strong; her voice laced with courage and confidence but by the time she'd gotten half way through her voice was betraying her. It was showing the parts of her that she was trying to push deep down inside; the part of her that wasn't sure, the part of her that thrived on the idea of someone else loving her so completely, the part of her that had wished, time and time again, that Quinn would love her the way she had so secretly loved the blonde.
"You don't mean that." The blonde spoke, her voice raspy and thick.
"I...I do mean it." Rachel stuttered out as she looked around the room. Anywhere was better than in those eyes. Those hazel eyes that captivated her, moved her.
"No. You don't." Confidence. Quinn Fabray was confidence and she could see it, in those deep brown eyes, that Rachel was doubting herself. She was finally privy to the grey matter of it all. She stepped closer, her hand reaching out to brush those tan fingers and the electricity could have powered Lima for a year. Their connection was present and it was powerful as hell.
"Quinn, please..." Rachel pleaded.
"Please what?"
"Please," Rachel instinctively wrapped her arms around herself, "don't do this."
Hazel eyes softened at the sight of the girl before her. That voice. It was that voice and the look in her eyes. Those tears. She nodded and took a step back because if she wanted to ever have even the slightest chance, she needed to keep some semblance of control.
"I know that this is confusing for you. Trust me," a small laugh escaped her lips as she wiped at her eyes, "I think I'd know better than anyone. But I needed you to know. And I know that the timing sucks, but better late than never right?" She nodded again. "I'm going to go and give that nice lady back her dress and then I'm going to walk out of this store... and I'll wait for you, Rachel. Whatever you decide, I'll wait for you."
Rachel could feel something inside her breaking. The words were spoken with such sincerity and care that she could almost feel them running through her. Her resolve was breaking and she couldn't allow it to happen, not here. So with a nod of her head she turned away, closed her eyes tightly, refusing to watch the blonde leave.
TBC?
