Love Is A Chameleon

Summary: Can Naruto change the way he looks? Can a leopard change its spots? But Naruto knows sexy jutsu and one day, tired of looking like a scrawny fox, transforms himself into a girl cutie with a little help from Master Jiraiya. But unlike the other sexy jutsus of the past this effect seems permanent. And maybe the unlikeliest twist of all, will Hinata have to fight her cousin Neji for Naruto's affections?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or it's characters. Hope you enjoy the story and remember to R&R ^o^

Chapter One: How The Leopard Changed His Spots

"Do you know how funny looking you are Naruto?"

Shikamaru's face was bare inches away from Naruto's. If Shikamaru wasn't so busy making fun of him Naruto would have thought he was going to get his second kiss from another guy.

"Back off Shikamaru!" he growled.

"Hey Tenten! Come over here."

Naruto's heart was beating furiously from both anger and embarrassment.

"What do you want Shikamaru?" said Tenten frowning.

"I want you to come and take a real gook look at our friend Naruto."

Tenten made a face as if she was about to hurl.
"I really don't want too."

"I've seen enough of that face to last several lifetimes," Sakura butted in.

"What's this all about?" It was Ino who walked over.

"Take a really long look," laughed Shikamaru.

"Doesn't Naruto look like a scrawny fox a farmer would want to put out of his misery?"
"Yeah," said Ino intrigued. "What about those funny looking whisker thingies or whatever they are on your face Naruto?"

"And that poofy hair." Tenten stood alongside Ino now. The two made Naruto sweaty and nervous. He back pedaled until he hit something. It was a wall.

"You know Naruto," said Ino. "You need a serious makeover."

"How about a serious miracle," added Tenten. The two girls started laughing.

"Lay off Naruto," said a cold, edgy voice.

"Ahhh Sasuke, we're just having some harmless fun with little Naruto." Tenten rubbed Naruto's spiky hair.

"All right!" called Kakashi. "Break time is over!"

"Bye Naruto you good looking poochie."

Even though Tenten was pretty, Naruto felt close to hating her. He walked behind the others as they filed into the school, but when the next to last student entered the building Naruto turned around and left, his legs taking him to the small apartment he shared with no one. Once inside he went straight to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror he glared at his face which was still beat-red.

'I hate how I look,' he thought. 'Why do I have to be different from the others?'

If only there was a Jutsu that made him look handsome. A boy better looking than Sasuke even.

"If I could just get rid of these whisker thingies." He knew one jutsu that could change his appearance.

"Sexy Jutsu!"
Now he was a stunning blond with a full bosom.

Somebody whistled.

"If only you would stay that way."

"Pervy Sage!"

Naruto broke the sexy jutsu spell.

"How long have you been standing there gawking at me Pervert?!"

Jiraiya stood in the bathroom's doorway. The dreamy look on his face disappeared right when Naruto released his jutsu. He coughed.

"Hmm. You know Naruto I couldn't help overhearing what you said about wanting to look a little classier."

"Yeah? Is there a way to turn me into a hunk? Or at least a guy that Sakura would bother going out with?"

Jiraiya rubbed his chin. "Weeelll just maybe." Then he became silent.

"What is it then?!" Naruto burst out. "Go on and tell me!"

"Okay. Do your sexy jutsu once more."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You don't have some hidden camera on you, do you?"

"Who me?" Pervy Sage hastily put something that looked like a camera in his pouch. "Nope. No camera. Come on kid do your sexy jutsu."

With misgiving Naruto shouted "Sexy Jutsu!"

"Ahhhhh!" Jiraiya was drooling. "Breasts like melons." And he touched them.

"You Dirty Pervert!" Naruto slapped Jiraiya across the face. "Out!" he screamed in a high pitched voice.

A high pitched voice? Naruto looked into the mirror he didn't have a handsome face. He had a beautiful face. A girl's face.

"Hey!" He tried undoing the jutsu. Nothing. He tried again and again his body wriggling in effort.

"Oh yeah! Work it Baby!"

Jiraiya had his camera out talking a dozen pictures per second.

"GET OUT!" And the newest girl in Konoha slammed the door in Jiraiya's face.

She sat in her usual spot, the clump of azalea bushes that provided an excellent view of Naruto's apartment. It was hot. Cicadas droned to each other anxious to attract their perfect mate. The girl wiped the sweat from her eyes.

"Out!" She heard another girl scream. A man ran out of Naruto's apartment clutching what looked like a camera close to his chest.

"Hinata!"

The girl turned both embarrassed and frightened. Her cousin Neji hovered just beyond the flowering branches of the azaleas.

"Hinata, why are you here?"

"I….I was worried about Naruto. He wasn't at this afternoon's class."

"Why should you care where Naruto is or isn't. He is none of your concern."

"But Neji…."

"I don't want to hear it Hinata. Don't you think I already know about your foolish crush over the fox brat. What would your father think?"

Hinata's face was red and she was on the verge of tears.

"Come out of there right now Hinata and don't cause a scene with your sniveling."
Hinata crawled out. When she stood she saw something that made her heart sink. A stunning girl with reddish blond hair and wearing Naruto's clothes stormed out of the apartment. Hinata gave a mournful sob.

"I told you not to snivel." Then Neji saw the girl. His heart skipped with a joy and a pain he had never felt before.

"Who is that?" he whispered.

"Naruto's girlfriend!" Hinata cried.

"Don't be stupid Hinata. Naruto could never have a girlfriend like that. She must be a relative or something."

Hinata felt her spirit rise once more. "Do you…do you think so Neji?"
Neji kept his eyes on the girl as she walked down the street. She had a stride that seemed like living poetry. Neji's throat went dry. He was crestfallen when the girl vanished inside a ramen shop.

Hinata repeated her question.

"What's that? Yes Hinata Naruto is far too repulsive to be going out with someone that lovely."

"Give me a bowl of your best ramen Old Man! I'm having a bad day."

"Sure thing Sweetie."

"Sweetie?" No one has ever called Naruto 'sweet.'

"Say Honey," The old man said as he prepared Naruto's ramen. "Your clothes remind me of a certain disreputable young ruffian who comes into my shop. Of course that would be an insult to such a pretty thing as yourself but take my advice. If you want to live in this village do not go around dressing in the same clothes as Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto gritted his teeth as he fingered the blade of his kunai knife. "If your ramen wasn't so good I'd…."

"Hey beautiful." A tall, dark-haired chunin that Naruto did not recognize straddled the stool beside him at the same time the old man placed a bowl of steaming ramen on the table.

"Don't worry about paying for the meal gorgeous." The chunin winked at Naruto. "I got you taken care of."

"Then take care of this!" Naruto shoved the hot ramen in the chunin's face.

"Auughh! You worthless….."
Naruto slammed the chunin's head against the bar causing the type of sound a walnut makes when it is cracked open by a hammer. As the young man slumped to the floor unconscious Naruto calmly ordered another bowl of ramen.

"You have a temper on you," the old man said putting a fresh bowl of ramen in front of Naruto. "Kind of reminds me of our new Hokage." The old man shook his head. "Princess Tsunade. Now there's a woman with a short fuse.

"Hello Ichiraku. Could I have your special of the day!"

Naruto's face turned red in embarrassment. Iruka had just taken the stool on his right. 'Just don't look at him,' Naruto said to himself. He buried his face in his ramen bowl.

"Do you know you have an unconscious chunin lying on your floor?" Iruka said to the ramen shop owner.

"Ah, yes," The old man replied. "Just another young fool struck down by love."

"Well," said Iruka. "I guess it's best he just stays down there for awhile then."

"You want some more sweetie?"
Naruto raised his head quickly. "You bet!"

"Naruto?"

Iruka was staring at him.

"Who? What! No, I'm not. Who is this Naruto you speak of?"
Iruka's eyes narrowed. "Look Naruto, it's not my business to judge but if you were going to get a sex change you should have at least warned everyone."

Naruto began to choke. He had to swallow a large glass of water placed in front of him by the old man.

"I (cough) I'm not Naruto!"

"Then what is your name?"

"It's …..um…hmm."
"Listen Naruto,' Iruka replied. "If you need to talk about anything my door is always open."

Iruka got up to leave. "But take my advice that everyone wishes they were someone else until they become someone else."

"Do you know this girl?" asked Tsunade. She held up a photograph of Naruto assaulting the young chunin in the ramen shop.

Jiraiya chortled in response. He sat in an overstuffed chair in Lady Tsunade's office.

"Are you listening Jiraiya?"
Jiraiya looked up. He had something in his hand which he quickly hid inside a pocket.

"Sorry Tsunade, what are you going on about?"
Tsunade tossed the photo to Jiraiya. "I said do you know who this red-haired vixen is?"

Jiraiya caught the picture and turned it around. He whistled. "Now isn't she a doll."

"You pervert. She's young enough to be your granddaughter."

"And your point?"

"My point is if I hear about you laying a hand on a girl that young I'll re-break every bone in your body."

"Hmmm point taken. Now do you want me to be honest?"
"There's a first for everything Jiraiya."

"Well I am glad you're sitting down. The girl in the photo is Naruto."

"WHAT?" Tsunade rose quickly upsetting her chair.

"Now calm down Tsunade. I'm nearly positive the transformation isn't permanent."

"Transformation nearly permanent? Are you telling me you had something to do with this?!"
"Oh well the kid was feeling a little down."

"So, what does that have to do with Naruto being now a young woman?"
"You see Tsunade, I felt that Naruto could benefit in seeing the world from a different perspective. Make him appreciate his own dopey-looking self better."

"Naruto is not dopey-looking. When he grows up he will be as handsome as his father the Fourth Hokage. Now what gives you the right to change one of my ninjas without consulting me first?"

"It was one of those spur-of-the-moment kind of things."

"Oh. Something like this!" Without warning Tsunade leapt on Jiraiya. As he fell backward overturning the chair, the contents of this pockets spilled out onto the floor.

"Ts…Tsunade….you…..you're choking me."

"No Jiraiya. I'm just making you appreciate how pleasant breathing air is. What is this?!"

Tsunade stopped choking Jiraiya long enough to scoop up several photos that had fallen out of Jiraiya's pockets. They were all photos that Jiraiya had taken of the new Naruto. Some were extremely revealing.

Tsunade's face turned red than a deep purple.

"Now Tsunade, I can explain."

Tsunade cracked her knuckles.

"Those photos…I don't know where the heck they came from! Someone must have slipped them into my pockets without my ….." Jiraiya gulped. "Oh, no, here comes the pain."

Over the course of an hour Lady Tsunade succeeded in re-breaking every bone in Jiraiya's body.