ThePepsiNinja: My first real England X Reader oneshot. hehehe. I hope this is okay. Inspired by episode of Friends. I don't know which episode it is, so...yeap.
England: At least you're not taking credit for it.
ThePepsiNinja: You're right! I love you.
England: *flushes* Well I certainly don't...
ThePepsiNinja: :D
England: *sigh* Love you too.
ThePepsiNinja: Thanks! I don't own Hetalia. *mutters* Drat! my plan for dominating Hetalia has not succeeded! I need to fire those good for nothing thieves...I mean agents. *shifty eyes* Anyway, onto the story.
You didn't really see the big deal about it. He had a tattoo so why the hell was it a problem if you got one? You had taken your anger to your best friend, Ukraine.
"Ukraine, why does England have to be so uptight?" You complained, sitting across from her, arms crossed with a cute pout on your face.
Ukraine smiled at you, laughing just a little.
"Boyfriend troubles, [Name]?" She chuckled at you, smiling in that cute way that she had.
"Yes." You groaned, irritated.
"How did you find out about his tattoo?" She asked innocently.
You blushed, scratching the back of your neck. You cleared your throat, still frowning.
"We were um…we…I just found out the fun way, okay? The point is, I thought it was sexy, so I casually brought up the notion of getting one myself and he had a bitch fit." You scoffed.
She turned red at the first thing you mentioned, looking down at her lap to hide her embarrassment. At the mention of Arthur having a "bitch fit", Katyusha had to stifle a giggle. "I'm sorry, [Name]. I shouldn't have asked." She said after the small giggle had left.
"It's fine. I'm not mad." You waved it off, glaring at the table in front of you before a smirk settled on your features. "You know what we should do?"
"Huh?" Katyusha asked, tilting her head to the side.
"We should do it. We should just go and get tattoos, the two of us."
Ukraine's face paled as she looked at you with wide eyes.
"To-to-today? Now?"
"Hell yeah. Come on, I'll pay. Let's go." You said enthusiastically, grabbing her hand gently and pulling her up, dragging her halfway across town to the only place you knew that gave them. "Here we are. Ain't it grand?" You said jokingly, looking at the different pictures of tattoos on display. Ukraine's face was still pale as she scanned the walls.
"So w-we're-we're really going to go through wi-with this?" She stuttered slightly.
"Damn straight. Oh hey, that one right there would look really pretty on your shoulder blade, Katyusha." You commented, looking at a picture of a sunflower. She nodded unsurely, biting her lip. "Hey, you'll be fine. I'll be right there when you get yours."
"Thank you [Name]. Hey, what are you getting?" She asked, curiously tilting her head to the side. You shrugged.
"I'm not getting anything huge or elaborate. I never wanted to. I just wanted to get something small, cute, something I could live with and something that was very easy to hide. So, I decided on getting a small red heart on my left hip." Ukraine smiled when you were finished.
"That sounds like a good choice. Maybe England will actually like it." She suggested. You shrugged again, a light smile playing at your lips.
"It's possible but being the prude that he is, I think it'll just piss him off, which is what I'm going for." You smirked. A woman with a series of long, sleeve tattoos on her toned arms entered the room. She had a star shaped eyebrow ring and a small stud in her nose. Her arms were crossed over her chest, glad in a tight gray tank top. Her voice was a commanding alto.
"Okay, first let's have you and then I'll take the chick with the extra boob fairy visit. Let's go." She nodded towards the next room. You sweat dropped at her commentary, but had to cheer Ukraine up. The poor girl was really sensitive sometimes.
"I say, America, have you seen [Name] lately?"
The younger nation's ears perked up at his former caregiver's voice before his usual spunky smile overtook his features.
"Nope. Not all day. Why?"
"Well that's odd. I haven't seen her since this morning when we were discussing something."
"Ooh. What was it?" Alfred asked, curiosity not able to be helped. Arthur sighed, exasperated.
"She brought up my-" He paused, knowing very well that America had no knowledge of the electric guitar tattoo on his body, and God help him if he weren't going to keep it that way. "-she brought up the idea of getting a tattoo and I voiced my disapproval of it."
America snickered, patting his hand on England's shoulder.
"Well then you know what she probably did right, knowing her?" England frowned, turning to his former charge, his voice wary.
"What are you getting at?"
"She probably went to get one anyway." England's face flared up at that.
"She would not!"
"Think about it dude, she totally would." America laughed as England became more flustered. At that, Alfred took his leave and went away to do God knows what while Arthur was left to his thoughts…and irritability.
"She wouldn't-oh bloody hell, who am I kidding? She's getting one as we speak! Well, rest assured, she'll be getting a stern talking to when she gets back." He said with dignity before walking back to his mansion, ruminating on the different ways he would approach this.
"I'm still disappointed that you wussed out." You teased Ukraine lightly, walking home. You had actually gotten your small heart tattoo while when the needle touched Katyusha's skin for the sunflower petals, she screamed, and ran off faster than anyone you'd ever seen run, and that included Veneziano when he was retreating.
"Well think of it this way, it's what a sunflower field looks like really, really far away." She reasoned. You stopped and faced her, a deadpanned expression.
"Really, Ukraine?"
"Well, it hurt. You know they use needles?"
You shot her a look before your sarcastic reply came.
"You don't say. Because, you know, mine happened to be licked on by kittens." She looked down at her feet, ashamed and began twiddling her thumbs.
"I'm sorry, [Name]. Forgive me. I don't mean to be this way- I just got so scared when that needle touched my shoulder, I should have just gotten the tattoo anyway-" You stopped her by putting your hands on her shoulder lightly, smiling apologetically.
"No need to be sorry, hon. It's me that should be sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I also shouldn't have dragged you with me. Forgive me?" You asked, making sure she made eye contact with you. She nodded, her eyes still a little wet with beginning tears. She wiped them hastily.
"You're forgiven."
"Well, I better get home. My old lady's probably waiting for me." You joked, giving Ukraine a hug before you departed, her walking back home, the signature BROING sound emanating from her person because of her enormous bazoobs. You started walking to England's house. Thankfully he had no idea you got this little mark. Now with any luck, you could hide it until the next time something-ahem-physical, happened.
When you walked in the door however, you were greeted with a glowering, pissed off Arthur.
"Hey honey. Have you missed me?" You put on an innocent look.
"Don't give me that. Did you go out and get a tattoo anyway?" Your face paled. How the hell did he find out? Even his spying abilities weren't that good, right?…right?
"Well, you didn't have to be such a hard-ass about it. You have one too, may I remind you?"
"I have my reasons. Why did you do it anyway?"
"Hey, I only got a small one. Ukraine got an entire sunflower field." If this were any other situation, you would have dropped to the floor laughing at the expression his face made. Went from being serious and angry to being utterly confused. He knew Ukraine and thought it very, very uncharacteristic to do such a thing. However, his face only remained like this for a moment before reverting back to his pissed off face.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because it's my body and dammit all to hell if I'm going to have my boyfriend try to dictate what I can and cannot do with it!" You said defiantly, crossing your arms. You stared each other down for a moment before England caved and sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"[Name], don't worry about it. You're right. I'm sorry." He said in a tired voice. You shifted uncomfortably.
"It's fine, babe, just…be more-I don't know-flexible? In the future?" You said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He smiled at you, opening his eyes before a small smirk appeared on his face.
"So, let's see it."
"I beg your pardon?" You asked, a small smirk of your own appearing.
"Your tattoo. I want to see it."
"Really?"
"Well you made such a big deal of getting it, I think I should get to see it." He reasoned, chuckling lightly at the beginning.
You smiled, hooking your finger in the waistline of your pants tugging them down slightly to reveal the small red heart situated on your hip. His eyebrows raised slightly. "You like it?" You asked, watching his face for some kind of obvious giveaway of his opinion.
"I do."
"Really?"
"Yes. It's actually…kind of sexy." His voice lowered, seeming to be right next to your ear. You gasped lightly. He chuckled, putting his hands on your hips possessively and kissing the curve of your neck. He whispered something to you that made a wicked grin appear on your features before you nodded. He smirked back, picking you up and leading you to the nearest bedroom.
Extended o0o Ending
"Well, did she get it, dude?" Alfred asked loudly, barging into England's mansion uninvited…again. Hearing nothing, he rubbed the back of his head, confused. "Huh. Maybe he's not here-"
He was cut off when he heard a string of moans and thudding noises from a room not far away. He blushed lightly before grinning and leaving. He closed the door behind him, walking away with that happy-go-lucky grin still plastered on his face.
"She totally got one. The Hero is right again."
