Okay this is my new fic set just after Wednesday 13th Septemeber episode. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed my other one. I will be continuing with it but i don't know when i'll be able to post up my next chapter. Anywayz hope you like this chapter. Please R&R even if you don't like.
Thanks,
xXx Leanne xXx All that I need, All that I don't.
Chapter One
The doorbell rang. Sam buried her face in her pillow as she continued to cry silently. She wasn't sure she'd done the right thing in breaking up with Stuart but she was just trying her best to be happy.
The only thing she did know was that they had no future together. Their relationship wasn't working - if Sam was totally honest it hadn't been for a while now - but she'd been trying to ignore it.
She and Stuart both wanted different things and deep down she'd known he wasn't ready to settle down yet... or to become a dad.
Sam had seen his reaction when she broke the news about her pregnancy; she'd also noted the obvious relief on his face when he'd heard about the miscarriage, and she couldn't accept that.
At 43, she needed some sense of stability in her life. She needed a man who would stick by her, a man who loved her for who she was...'someone that Stuart couldn't be...' she concluded sadly...'someone like Phil...'
She hadn't realised it until it was too late but Phil was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with...to wake up with each day. He was smart, funny, good looking...and he had something that Stuart didn't.
A sharp pain shot through her stomach and her eyes filled with fresh tears as she thought of the baby that never was. True, having a baby wasn't exactly top of her wishlist but the more she thought about it the more she realised she wanted to keep it.
The bell sounded more insistently. Sam sighed, standing up and feeling another twinge.
She pulled open the door, "Phil!" she choked out... "What are you doing here?" She wiped away her tears...she didn't want Phil to see her crying.
"I'm worried about you..." Phil answered, concerned.
Sam broke down a third time, turning away from him. He sounded so warm, so genuine - she wanted to let him in - but she was scared. Scared of how she felt, scared of being hurt again.
"Oh Sam..." For a moment words failed Phil. He was seeing a different side to Samantha Nixon thatn the one he usually saw. She looked so vulnerable...needy.
"Come here..." He pulled Sam towards him and wrapped her in his arms.
She buried her head in his shirt. "I've messed everything up...things weren't supposed to be like this...Stuart... the baby...i've done it all wrong..." She sobbed, releasing everything she was feeling.
"Ssshh...Sam it's okay... none of this is you're fault... i'm here for you... i'll always be here." Phil held her tightly.
Sam broke out of the hug..."Come in" she said, for they were standing in her doorway being gawped at by curious neighbours.
Phil stepped inside, closing the door behind them. "Where's Stuart?" He asked, thinking what sort of guy left their girlfriend when she was in this state.
"He's gone" Sam answered, offering him a seat beside her on the couch. "I asked him to leave..." A lone tear slipped down her cheek.
Phil brushed it away with his thumb, "Oh right...but why? I thought you loved him." He said shaking his head slightly. He would never understand this woman. Just when he thought he knew her she turned round and surprised him.
"So did I" Sam admitted.
"Well what happened then?" He asked, wrapping an arm around her and holding her close.
Sam shrugged, "He didn't want the baby, i did... he said he'd support me whatever i chose to do..." She paused, reaching for a tissue. "But you could tell the thought of becoming a dad scared him...and the look on his face when i told him i'd lost the... our baby, it told me everything i needed to know... everything i already knew..."She finished, watery eyes spilling over once more.
"Okay and this might be a stupid question but how do you feel now?" Phil asked, gently.
"About the baby?" Sam checked.
"The baby...Stuart... everything..." Phil replied, gently massaging her shoulders.
"I will miss Stuart." She admitted finally... after a few moments of silence had passed between them. "But only because i'm so used to him being around..."
"And the baby?" Phil prompted her.
Sam's face crumpled, "I wanted to keep it so much." She whispered, but she didn't start crying again. "I wanted our child more than anything." She blinked back the tears that were threatening to overspill.
Phil rested a hand on Sam's shoulder. She turned to face him. Their eyes locked and Phil didn't know what made him do it but he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips.
Realising what he was doing, he pulled away. "Sam i am so sorry... we can just forget that ever happened... it doesn't have to change anything between us, does it?" he said anxiously.
"Phil..." Sam stopped. She didn't even know what she had been about to say. Instead she silenced him with another kiss.
Phil couldn't believe it. "are you sure this is what you want?" He didn't want to ask the question but felt he had to before they did something they might later regret.
Sam nodded, "Yes" she replied, "I'm sure." She leaned in to capture his lips.
Smiling, Phil found himself kissing her back. Still unable to believe that what was happening here was real; that this incredible woman whom he'd loved for years actually liked him back.
His hands slid down from where he'd been stroking her hair, down to her chest. He began to unbutton her blouse but stopped sensing her reluctance. "It's okay Sam, we can take it slow if you want to..you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." Phil tried to reassure her.
Sam turned away from him, "It's not that i don't want to... i do...i love you Phil" she said. "It's just that it's too soon after Stuart..." She tried to explain... "I'm sorry..."
Phil pulled her towards him, she rested her head on his chest. "It's okay Sam...you take as long as you need...i'll still be here if you want me to." He said.
Feeling like someone had left a tap running Sam reached across him for a box of tissues. "Oh Phil... i do want you here" she answered, honestly settling back into the embrace they'd created.
"Then i will be!" Phil but his arms around her and held her...
...Then the doorbell rang. Sam sighed and made a move to get up. "You stay where you are... i'll get it." offered Phil.
Sam smiled, settling back into the sofa cushions. "Thank you" she replied, kissing him.
Phil stood up and walked out into the hall, he opened the door to find Stuart standing there,
Stuart's mouth dropped open in shock, "What are you doing here?"
