So this is how I'll start my own story not just doodles...
I bet I'm going to be one of those idiots only updating half a year but then three times a week because I appear to have some free time.
As a Naomily-Fan I'm sure we all love that they finally get back together when Naomi is delivering her heart warming speech at Freddies shed.
It always makes me think about what happened before series 3. I've read some quite good stories about that and now I'm going to write my own, even though I'm not sure how well written it will be. For those who haven't read my other story: English is not my first language.
This story won't be too long maybe 10 Chapters probably less, like seven or eight.
Enjoy and subscribe. I want to hear what's on your mind girls, or at least what you're thinking about the following chapter :)
I never had a subscription before so be my first :D
It's all going to be Naomis POV
"What the fuck kind of lame old rave is this?! I dressed up!" Katie complains with her slight lisp as I step to Freddies door. Cook answers, but he is speaking to low to understand. I can hear shit music playing and JJs muffled voice through the sheds door. They're playing ace of truth. So this is my chance I think while pushing the door open.
"I will."
Finally the words are stumbling out of my head, lining up behind my shivering lips. These injured little fellows are only waiting to fall on the floor in front of Emily, my love.
Like ghosts that have spent days, more likely weeks haunting my thoughts.
I guess they started building groups of small anxious sentences, when I set next to Cook, telling him that I love someone, after I kissed him. I felt that I needed, really craved to kiss someone else again, back then. I needed to kiss this someone that I love, who is now standing there next to her sister, staring at me like she'd never touch me again … ever.
Emilies arms are crossed. Her frown tells me "I don't know how you want to fix this, concerning the way you fucked it up!" Yes: I can literally hear the exclamation mark she makes in her thoughts shouting at me.
While my thoughts betray me when I silently answer hers : " Me nether, me nether." But my heart stays brave, which is quite rare lately. It tells me " You have to try or I'll leave with Emily. I'm tired of beading only for your pitiful self."
So I take a deep breath and start speaking:
"I loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was twelve."
Not only my lips are shaking. My voice trembles too and I try not to care, knowing I need to tell the things that build up in my mind.
"It took me three years to plug up the courage to speak to you. And I was so scared of the way I felt ...you know loving a girl … Well I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make me feel normal."
I can't help remembering how Emily stormed out of my room one day saying "You're always scared." I just try not to be now. Inhaling to go on laying my heart to the feet of the girl I love.
"I screwed guys to make it go away, but it didn't work."
She was so disappointed, when she left me that day. Not angry only tired of me.
"When we got together it scared the shit out of me because you were the one person who could ruin my life."
Saying this I can feel that my trembling voice gets high and finally breaks. I can't push away the little sob although I try. I'm not ready jet.
I pushed you away I made you think things were your fault, but really I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl Sofia to kind of spike you for having that hold on me. And I'm a total fucking coward because I got these...these tickets to Goa for us three month ago...
My voice is breaking again and I see the expression on Emilies face changing. I still fell the pressure weighing on my heart. Maybe its not enough? Maybe she doesn't love me enough. Or maybe I did hurt her to deep. And what if...
Stop! I need to keep on going.
But I couldn't stand... I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible because really I'd die for you.
It doesn't matter that I can't recognize my own voice anymore.
It doesn't matter that I make my self so vulnerable while they're all listening.
Because I can only see Emily ... her face. Emily Emily Emily.
And I can see the reflection of my pain and maybe the pain I caused her, mingling in her eyes.
I love you.
I love you so much it is killing me.
I look at her. There is nothing I can do.
Our eyes meet and I want to kiss that tears on her cheeks away, hold her.
Our gaze breaks.
And Emily takes a little breath and tightens her body in a way that I've seen a hundred times. She does that, I know, when she is being brave, braver then I'll ever be.
She is taking a step closer to me and my heart seems to burst when I can feel her near me again.
I am kissing Emily,
I think.
Like I thought when she first kissed me and made my heart feel like its growing to big for my body.
Emily Fitch did that.
