Fruit From A Sour Grapevine
a collaboration between ajksmusic & TappinCastlefan
Disclaimer: We like to pretend.
Summary: "But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication." -Abraham Maslow
Sometimes it takes an accidental chain of conversation to bring necessary change.
Alexis watches from the other side of the table as Lanie – Dr. Parish – carefully removes and weighs the patient's organs before placing them all back in the body cavity. It's almost like a dance, she thinks, as the medical examiner works with smooth transitions from table to scale and back again, reciting the proper information for Alexis to record between her explanations of the process and other important details.
But Alexis' mind is only half really concentrating, her hand mechanically writing down the numbers for the file. She can't help it, but she keeps thinking back to that crime scene, how she watched as her dad and Detective Beckett worked through the details and came up with theory. She couldn't lie; it was sort of fascinating to watch.
It was obvious that they worked well together.
But if they worked so well together, why did she constantly have this sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach every time her dad answered the Detective's calls or left at odd hours?
"Hey, Dr. Parish?"
She looks over, across the y-cut after replacing the patient's liver, meeting Alexis' eyes with an amused look. "Girl, what did I tell you? It's no big deal, you can use my first name."
"Right. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just used to school and all that." The girl fidgets where she stands, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, her face the picture of nervous contemplation.
"What's on your mind?"
"Um, I'm not really sure. I think."
Lanie strips off the gloves she wore for her internal exam to take a swab of the inside of the patient's mouth and moves over to the microscope. Alexis follows like a good intern, taking a mental note of everything the medical examiner does, but her mind is still on her dad and Detective Beckett.
Her mentor's eyes are in the scope when she finally finds her words. "Are my dad and Detective Beckett always like that? At a crime scene?"
A laugh breaks through Lanie's silence. "Like what?"
"Like…a unit. Like they each know exactly what the other's going to say before they say it? It's…creepy."
"It's effective. And yes, they're almost always like that. The way they work? Baby, you're never going to find another pair of partners that fit they way they do."
Alexis can only nod, as they move into Lanie's office. She's still unsure about exactly how she felt knowing that the two were pretty much a perfect team. They had just looked so casual outside the building, but still so critical? She's never seen her dad look that focused, or think that…professionally, if he wasn't writing.
Almost like he's a totally different person when he's with her.
The gentle slap of Lanie's hand against the desk breaks her reverie.
"I wasn't born yesterday Lexi, I know that's not it. What else are you thinking about?"
Alexis sighs and drops into the rolling chair Lanie waves her to. "I guess it's just weird for me. Like, I'm stepping in on something that's just theirs."
"Well, to be fair to you, there isn't a 'them'."
Lanie speaks to her like she's an adult, but with just a hint of a loving tone that she doesn't get to hear to often.
Alexis stretches out in the chair, drops her head back to stare at her favorite spot on the ceiling. She was alone in the office one afternoon when she looked up and found the little spot that looked like a sort of abstract cursive 'A', and now it's 'her spot'. She just stares at the little etching in the ceiling tile before whispering, "My dad wants there to be a 'them'."
"I know."
"I think everyone knows. Everyone but her."
Only silence comes and her head pops up. Alexis looks over the desk to find Lanie fiddling her thumbs, lips pinched together.
"Don't you think it should be obvious? I mean, he does...everything for her. You've read the books, right?"
Lanie swivels back and forth in her desk chair. "Mhmm."
"So you know. He runs around the city playing cops and robbers for a woman who can't see that he's in love with her."
"I wouldn't be so sure." It's barely audible. Just a stroke of pure luck that Alexis doesn't so much as swallow at that exact moment and can hear the statement.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," Lanie stutters, practically jumping up from her seat with the file in her hands again. "It was nothing. Now, we need to get the toxicology results from the-"
"No, that's not nothing." Alexis can't help it. Her voice cracks, with what? Anger? Sadness? Regret? It's an odd cocktail that she can't figure out in the split second, but she knows that this is important, and she needs to know the truth. Because watching her dad follow the detective around like a puppy is driving her crazy. "Lanie? What's going on?"
Lanie's foot taps against the tile, staccato strikes that further prove to Alexis that what she said most certainly was not 'nothing'.
"Come on, Lanie. I'm not a child. I'm not stupid." Alexis feels that telltale bubble in the back of her throat and fights like hell to swallow it back. She's not a child. She's not a baby and she's not going to cry like one, over her daddy's love problems.
Lanie just looks at her, thinking for what feels like hours. She opens her mouth, but no words come out. It closes again, and opens, and closes once more before Lanie's guiding Alexis to the couch, wagging a finger in the girls face.
"If I trust you with this. I'm trusting you with this. It's…a big deal Alexis. The biggest. And…I'll probably get my ass kicked for telling you."
Alexis can't find her voice, too intimidated, and anxious and nervous, so she just nods.
"Your dad…" she sighs, "he told Detective Beckett – Kate, that he loves her. When she was shot. And she knows."
Alexis's mouth opens, random syllables tumbling out.
"But! But your dad doesn't. Kate's still…not a hundred percent yet. So she's waiting. Until things are right. You understand that, right? That this isn't some silly crush, it's a big issue between two adults, and there's…a lot more in their way than a bunch of states."
"Lanie," Alexis whispers, "I know that my dad and, and Kate are different than me and Ashley. I really do. This is…more important than me and Ashley. Which, is why it's so hard to watch. It shouldn't be this hard."
Lanie's hand comes up, gently smoothing down Alexis's hair – like an older sister would. "You're right, it shouldn't. But adults are…stupid, and-" She looks away for a moment and pinches her lips together again. "You just have to give them time, okay?"
Alexis nods.
"And this was just between us, got it?"
This time Alexis smiles, faintly and thin, "Got it."
