Author's Notes: Don't own Horatio nor the other characters from CSI: Miami. They are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. I just like to play with him as I wait for the next season.
Horatio Caine is…
Affectionate,
Benevolent,
Courageous,
Demanding,
Encouraging,
Faithful,
Gracious,
Honest,
Insightful,
Jaded,
Kind,
Laconic,
Menacing,
Natty,
Omnipotent,
Perplexing,
Quixotic,
Resourceful,
Sincere,
Tactful,
Unassuming,
Vulnerable,
Wicked,
Zealous…
&/&/&
He isn't an easy man to love.
I should know. I've been his partner for over ten years.
In that time, he has had several women in his life. I've watched them come and I've watched them go.
I had had great hope for the last one.
&/&/&
Marisol Delko.
She had come into our lives when his faith in himself had been at a low ebb. He had been quietly wondering if he was worth being loved and if he would ever find love again.
She had loved him like I love him; unconditionally.
She had made him happy.
When she had been around he had smiled more. He had even dared to dream for the first time in a long time. Dared to hope. Dared to believe that he could have the happily ever after.
&/&/&
One shot of a sniper's rifle and all that had come to an end.
He discovered that he was Icaris. He had flown to close to the sun and all his hopes and dreams were burned to ashes leaving him to tumble back to Earth with nothing but a hollow spot where his heart once had been.
&/&/&
And now….
He sits at his dining room table staring at me through silent tears. Tears that ran unchecked down his haggard face to drip onto his clasped hands.
They are the only evidence of his grief, of his loss.
&/&/&
I sit on a soft, yellow cloth that he had spread on the dining room table.
I sit in silent anticipation.
I wait for the emotional storm to abate.
&/&/&
He picks me up, but his tear slick hands make it difficult to hold me. He lays me back down with an uncharacteristic oath.
He tries again after wiping his hands on his jeans.
He succeeds.
&/&/&
His grip is impersonal as he dismantles me. He lays each piece of me in a specific spot, so he can reassemble me in a heartbeat.
We spend this time together once a week. It is how we reconnect as partners. It is how I have saved his life in the past and how I will save his life in the future.
&/&/&
He caresses me with his fingertips.
He thinks that maybe I'm the solution to all his problems.
I know I'm not.
All I know is that I may be in pieces on this cloth yet I am more whole than he is right now.
&/&/&
Horatio Caine isn't an easy man to love, but love him I do.
