Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds
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'You can't be serious Garcia.' Hotch said as he looked up from her resignation letter.
'Afraid so.'
'But why?'
'Health matters.' She replied quietly. 'I can't work, I need a break.'
'Does it need to be effective immediately and permanent?'
'Yes.' She said as he looked over her, she had physically changed in the last couple of months, and she knew that he had just noticed it. She was losing weight too fast for any diet, she hardly ate, always looked flushed and worn out, and was permanently tired.
'Garcia we can help with this.' He finally said as he worried, she looked worse than ever today, like she was wilting. 'Let us look after you.'
'It's not necessary Sir.' She answered.
'Take a seat Penelope.' She nodded and complied, he used her first name this was going past professional and into the personal side of life. 'Tell me at least, let me in and then I'll file this.' He saw her gawp slightly. 'Come on Penelope, we helped you when you were shot, let us help now.'
She ran her hand over her forehead, she had to do this now, there was no getting out of it this time. 'Have you ever heard of Polycystic Kidney Disease?' She asked, and she saw him think about. 'Its a genetic disease, there's two types, there's the one that kills in infancy and the other that doesn't make an appearance until between the ages of 30 and 40, not knowing much about my family anymore, I don't know who's had it or got it. I know it affects 1 in 10,000, I'm that one in our 10,000.'
'Okay so medication can help, why do you need to quit?'
'You questioned me needing to take every other day off Hotch.' She said looking at him. 'I told you I was helping a friend out, I lied.'
'So where have you been going?' He said leaning on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.
'I've been going to the hospital to have dialysis, that's all they can do now.' She answered honestly, she saw his eyes sadden, his mouth open slightly in shock. 'I'm dying Hotch, there's nothing more than can do until a transplant becomes available by which time it could be too late.'
'Penelope!' Hotch gasped at her. 'Why wouldn't you tell us?'
'Simple, JJ has Henry to worry about, you have Jack, Emily has you and her mom, Rossi and Reid have their moms to worry about and Derek has his family and his been in that relationship that I know just ended badly, I don't need to be a burden to any of you.'
'Don't you think we should have been the ones to decide that?'
'I guess so.' She said looking down as the tears finally built and spilt. 'I've accepted it; I'm at peace with the thought of dying.'
'What about telling our family?'
'They don't need this plaguing them.'
'Maybe we want this, I'm glad you've let me in, you aren't doing this alone.' He replied kneeling down in front of her and taking her hand. 'You need to tell them, you might regret it.' He then stood. 'Don't lie to them, and don't tell me you've accepted it because I know you haven't.'
She looked at him. 'You're right I haven't, I'm petrified but its not in my hands anymore Hotch.'
'Were you going to just go on your own?'
She played with how she would answer this question for a moment. 'Since Foyet, we haven't been much of a pack anymore.' Penelope said looking down. 'I didn't know Derek was in a relationship until 2 months down the line, I didn't know you and Emily were involved until a month ago, I didn't know Reid kept meeting up with that Austin girl, we don't share these things, Derek doesn't even know I'm not with Kevin anymore... we drifted apart because of our jobs require us to be in it full headedly.'
'And you?'
'I can't do my job anymore, as much as I love it, and I love this team, I don't have the energy to keep up a job and a charade of health... I just about have the energy to get up in the morning.'
'Well then break and let's call a family meeting.' Hotch said walking to the door, opening it and looking at her. 'It's now not then Penelope.' He said using his I'm taking no bullshit excuse voice.
She stood slowly, and felt him help her and she smiled, he meant it when he said she wasn't going to be alone for this. He released her hand and allowed her to take the lead. Walking along the small landing he called them into the conference room, they complied and followed, all oblivious, all consumed with one thing or the other, not with each other though. They made their way in and stood looking as Penelope entered with Hotch.
'What's this about? I have a load more files come in today.' JJ asked tiredly, almost snappy.
'Yeah and I have loads of paperwork to get through.' Derek added grouchy.
'I second that.' Emily muttered as she looked at the others.
'Ditto.' Reid retorted.
'I can't do this.' Penelope said as they all made it clear that they had places to be, things to do, they weren't interested like they used to be and so she turned to leave, only to see Hotch blocking the door.
'You are doing it.' Hotch said forcefully.
'Doing what?' Reid asked confused. 'What's this about? We have work to do.' They all started to talk at once, all over one another and Hotch saw in that moment why Penelope felt the need to not tell them, he saw how his team was falling apart slowly. He then saw Penelope's shoulders jump slightly and he looked at her to see her crying he stepped in but not before Penelope turned to the group.
'I'm dying!' She shouted over the top of them with a frustrated voice that they were all arguing over something so petty. The room went silent as they all stared at her. 'Now you can get back to work okay? No need to try and outdo one another because to be fair I think I beat you all.' She looked at Hotch who was at her side. 'I'm going to start clear out my stuff.' She said and left not before the tears beckoned and fell in masses.
'Hotch...' Derek asked the boss as Penelope disappeared. 'Please tell me she is joking.'
'She isn't, I wish she was, the last couple of weeks she's been having dialysis, she has kidney failure.'
'How?'
'Genetic disease she had no idea ran in her family.'
'Why wouldn't she tell us?' JJ asked crying silent tears, her voice crackling.
'You demonstrated it beautifully when I pulled you away... she noticed the drift in us so didn't tell us because she didn't want to be a burden, I made her be that burden because we haven't been much of the family she loves and needs lately... and you squabbling just proved that to her and me why she never said anything to any of us.'
