It had been a good day. It really had. Noire had actually completed enough work earlier in the week to finally get a little time for her...other activities. But of course, a certain CPU of a neighboring nation seemed to have something to say about that. Seriously, Neptune always picked the most inopportune times to crash into her office.

So now, here she was. Arms crossed and red eyes glaring at the pink haired girl who was sitting in her work chair. Despite this being somewhat normal circumstances between the two, there was something weird about how all of this was set up. She could practically feel a joke incoming but she wasn't one to expose a writer's plans. She left the massacre of the fourth wall to the girl in front of her.

"Well...you've been busy." Neptune said, pink eyes returning her stare and her elbows on the table.

Yep. Something was definitely wrong here. Neptune was rarely serious unless she was in her HDD form. And what was with the fact that the CPU's look was making her feel like something was crawling up her back?

Neptune continued her stare as she seem to relax back into her chair, "So, I've got a question for ya. Do you think you'll ever have any friends?" She asked ever so casually.

Noire could feel her eyes beginning to twitch. It was way too early to deal with Neptune's normal trolling. Though to be honest, ever since K-sha, Neptune should've at least had gotten some new material to tease her on. She had friends! (Well...one official...who was in love with her to an – almost – obsessive degree.)

Nevertheless, she wasn't going to let Neptune get the best of her. Not today! "Sorry Neptune but I'm afraid I've got no time to play with you today. And why are you ever here?" She asked, though it came out as less of a question and more of notice to leave.

Neptune got up from the chair and stuffed her hands in her hoodie's pockets, "Fine, fine. But one more question…"

"Against my better judgement, what is it?" Noire asked. Seriously, what was with this weird atmosphere in this scene? It was almost like someone was trying to blatantly rip-off some kind of script.

Neptune smirked and jumped on the desk, scattering the various important documents to the floor –– and crumpling others under her shoes. Noire could almost feel something snap inside of her. She was going to kill her for that.

"Do you wanna get nep'd? Cause I guarantee if you take one step forward, you will NOT like what happens next." Neptune declared, a proud smile on her face.

"Neptune…" Noire hissed. It was times like these when she wondered if it would just be better if Nepgear took over for Planeptune officially. Then she wouldn't have to worry about the off chance of an international scene, "You have about two seconds before I make you get off my desk!"

Neptune didn't move from her spot. Was she trying to taunt her? Noire took a step forward, reaching to drag Neptune off the table and – possibly – teach her a lesson.

Neptune ducked out of the way and sighed, "Well...I tried."

And just as things couldn't get any weirder, the whole place turned black and white. How was it even possible to lose a color budget in a Fanfiction? It didn't even have visuals...or a budget for that matter.

"It's a beautiful day outside. Dogoos are doing their thing. Horsebirds are trying to fly. And people like you…" A bright light surrounds the area. As it dissipates, Purple Heart is left in the place of Neptune, "Are going to get nep'd."


"Nepgear, what exactly has been going on? You've been acting weird ever since you dragged me out here this morning." Uni sighed, finally in a position to corner her friend into talking.

At first, she had actually been happy to take Nepgear to some of the new sites. However, that attitude changed when she noticed that the pink haired girl had been sorta...nervous? It wasn't like they were on a date? ...Right?

"Nothing's wrong, Uni! I promise!" Nepgear said...while flailing her hands in front of her haphazardly.

Yeah...like anyone would believe that. Uni gave Nepgear an even glare. If she held it for long enough, she would cave and tell her everything.

Nepgear tried to turn away obviously trying to avoid the wilting under her glare. However, Uni had her cornered pretty well. As a result, the pink haired girl shut her eyes tightly, trying to avoid any possible chance of breaking.

Well, there was more than one was to get a gear to turn...

*Poke*

"Eep!" Nepgear squeaked as she flinched away from the other girl's touch.

*Poke* *Poke*

"Uni, stop!" Nepgear said, attempting to plead.

Uni kept her stare up. It would help if Nepgear ever opened her eyes again, "Sure, just tell me what's going on." She said as she continued poking. The black haired girl quickly glanced around. Luckily, it seemed that no one was particularly paying attention to them.

Well...almost….

"Holy crap! They're so cute! I told you UniGear was real!" A random bystander yelled. Which drew the attention of a lot more people than Uni thought would even be paying attention.

Nepgear opened her eyes as the two were suddenly being stared at by quite a few citizens of Lastation, "Uni...Gear?" The pink candidate asked.

"Yeah! It's your couple name! Oh, did Uni get you that red scarf? It looks very nice Lady Nepgear!" One of the female bystanders said.

It took a few seconds for that to sink in.

"EEHHHHH?"


Neptune dusted off her hands as she left the Basilicom. On her face, a pretty proud smirk. It wasn't every day she got the chance to do a no damage run fighting Noire. She'd have to thank Nepgear again for giving her the opening by distracting Uni.

She turned back into the dark room containing the defeated Lastation CPU, "Get dunked on, Noire."


Thank you if you made it to the end of my Undertale/Neptunia scene cringe. This is why I shouldn't talk Neptunia with my friends while Megalovania is playing.

I think it's obvious but just in case, this was just a joke I did. Made me laugh a bit writing it and hope it did for you all too.

Ghost 501 logging out!

Edit (9/24/16): Corrected some POV issues pointed out by DracoSlayer95.