It was never meant to be like this. It was never meant to be so painful. I can't even bear to look over at her out of fear of my heart breaking again. It all started about 3 weeks ago...
I thought it would be fun to have a 'blame it on the alcohol, Rachel Berry style party' you know with the spin the bottle game, the laughs, the drunkenness – maybe not the crying part because unlike Santana I'm not the 'weepy drunk' more the 'life and soul of the party drunk', or so I like to think. Anyway the party was really hitting it off everyone was having a great time, I had invited just the Glee kids round because as cliché as it sounds we really are all best friends. Mark suggested the spin the bottle game, well naturally he would. Mark just like Puck doesn't shy away from 'affections'. So we all sat in the circle and played. I was just past the tipsy stage and I looked across at Heather to find her grinning at me, I smiled back and then she winked at me. In a crazy 10 second lapse of sober judgement I really wanted to kiss her. I tried to shake the feeling off saying to myself it was just the alcohol, but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew there was more to it. As the game continued I willed the bottle to point at Heather when it was my go but it never happened. I managed to kiss Darren, Chord, Lea, Dianna, Jenna, Harry and Kevin but not Heather much to my disappointment. The game ended abruptly when Amber threw up in the middle of the circle, classy. Chris, Jenna and Darren took her home and headed back themselves. I told the rest of them that they could crash at mine as long as someone cleaned up the sick. Lea being the leader took full responsibility and cleaned it up in no time. Everyone pretty much settled down to sleep where they were and I went to get blankets for everyone. I went to bed seen as though no one had taken it and snuggled down. I was nearly asleep when I felt Heather creep in next to me; I knew it was her straight away from her smell, her touch. Suddenly I was wide awake my hearth hammering in my chest as I turned to face her.
'Hey' she rasped
'Hi'
'Is it ok if I sleep here tonight? There are no spare blankets'
'Course' I said as calm as I could manage
'Thanks Nay' she smiled at me
'It s okay' I smiled back
She was staring at me and it was making me feel nervous but also excited.
'Quit staring at me!'
'Why?'
'It's creeping me out'
'You're the most beautiful girl ever, you know that Nay?'
'Shutup and go to sleep, you've clearly had a few too many tonight' I laughed
'I'm deadly serious though! You're stunning' she said stroking my hair. I half wished that she would stop; trying to contain my feelings was proving very difficult.
'Uhm... thanks Heather, now let's go to sleep'
Then she kissed me, completely out of the blue, I was shocked but secretly also over the moon at the same time.
'What the hell!'
'I'm sorry; I've wanted to do that all night'
'Really?'
'Yes, sorry. Let's go to sleep'
'Don't be sorry, I wanted to do the same thing' I said shyly as I could feel myself blushing
'Really?'
'Yes' I whispered in her ear
Nothing more was said and we kissed slowly to start with then gradually getting more passionate. Everything then went black.
I woke up in the morning feeling really rough. I peeled off Heathers legs and arms that were wrapped around me to run to bathroom. I threw up as quickly and as quietly as possible and felt a lot better. What had happened last night? I looked in the mirror to see makeup all down my face, my hair a mess and something that looked like a bruise on my neck. As I looked closer I realised it was a love bite. Shit, I thought of Heather in my bed. Oh shit what had we done last night? I jumped as Heather came into the bathroom.
'What happened last night?' she asked
'I was about to ask you the same thing?
'Well I woke up with no clothes on and you only have underwear and a t-shirt on which you probably just put on. And judging by that love bite I think we might of got our 'sweet lady kisses on' a bit too much last night'
'Shit'
'All you can say is shit? I have a boyfriend Naya! How could you do this?'
'Me do this? I think you were the one who started it, and if you didn't realise I'm the one with the love bite not you so I don't think you were thinking about your 'boyfriend' too much last night'
'You weren't trying to stop me, you clearly couldn't get enough'
'You're right I just couldn't help myself, but Heather it doesn't matter Taylor doesn't have to know'
'I just cheated on him! How can I lie to him?'
'We were drunk it's not that big of a deal, really. You need to calm down'
'Calm down, how dare you? What we did was wrong, Naya.'
'What because it was us? I don't think you would react this bad if you cheated on him with another man'
'You're right I wouldn't, I'm ashamed of what happened and you should be too. It was wrong because it was between us, it was disgusting can't you see that?'
'So you think that it's disgusting to be gay? To sleep with another woman?'
'Yes, wait no I didn't say that'
'Well that what it sounded like, so you mean you think I'm disgusting'
'No Nay that's not what I meant'
'Get out, now'
'Wait'
'No, out now. I don't want to disgust you anymore. Get out of my apartment'
'Please let me explain'
'No, get out'
'I'm sorry Naya' she said as the door clicked shut.
I went back to my bedroom and burst into tears.
