5 + 1

Five Times Coulson Realized that He was Seriously Flummoxed by FitzSimmons and the One time He Wasn't.

The Morning after Skye's Wedding

Phil counted arms and legs. Yes. Three ankles (two matching , one not), none of which were his and six hands, two of which were his. (Thank God that there were three matching sets though he couldn't confirm that they were in matches to any of the ankles.)

"Morning, Sir," purred a female voice to his left. Very pleasant voice (thank God!) British accent. JEMMA SIMMONS, his mind helpfully provided. (Double THANK GOD!) He turned towards her and she was rocking a serious case of bed head. As well she should, from what he remembered.

Her smile was warm and pleased. "You were amazing last night," she whispered which caused his inner teenage boy to do a proud fist pump. She leaned towards him and they exchanged a few gentle good morning kisses.

"We good?" Phil quietly asked as he assumed Leo Fitz was sleeping.

"Quite good," she purred which made his heart skip a few beats in sheer giddiness. "Though we need to get up and showered for Skye's brunch. Else we'll be noticeably late."

"I'll go first," offered Fitz. The young engineer left the bed, absolutely starkers, and headed towards the bathroom.

Phil rolled on his back, and quietly exhaled. "Is he OK?" he asked Simmons. "He seemed… a little…"

"Shy is the word you're looking for," Jemma offered. "He's had a crush on you for so terribly long."

"I was debating about using the word traumatized," Phil offered. "I tried to be … gentle…."

Fitz had been almost wild animal shy, fearful but yet, when Phil had softly asked if he should leave, Fitz had kissed him. Only after Jemma had assured him how much they both wanted Phil to stay. And he couldn't remember how Fitz had trembled beneath his touch.

Jemma's smile faded. "You were, Phil. Even when he was terribly, terribly flustered because you wanted to touch him, you pretended that you didn't notice. I can assure you that he really enjoyed kissing you."

"Did he think I would … hurt… him?" Coulson tried not to sound… upset… but he knew he failed. Early on, when he had pondered if Fitz had a crush on him, he had come to terms with the fact that FitzSimmons were matching bookends. Or so he had thought he had come to terms.

"Most Alphas aren't as considerate as you."

"He didn't touch me," Phil murmured. "Willingly."

"While you were awake," she hinted. "When you were sleeping after the second or third go round, he curled up behind you."

"He did?"

"Yes," she assured him. "You just continue being you and it will all work out."

Phil being Phil meant that he tried to sneak a Good Morning kiss with Fitz, which failed. He also made a halfhearted attempt at having FitzSimmons sit with him at the brunch. That was futile also, and it left two noticeably vacant seats near him at the head table until a seedy looking Felix Blake collapsed in the chair next to him. He had a five o'clock shadow and he appeared as though he had been ridden hard and hung up wet. Jasper Sitwell made a motion as if he was about to sit next to them but Blake deliberately put his forearm crutches in the empty chair.

"I don't want to sit with you," he informed Sitwell. "Coulson and I need to talk. ALONE. So go. Maybe someone will want to sit with you, but I rather doubt it."

The Nanny Bracelet Wearing Sitwell nodded his head and quickly made himself scarce.

Blake tilted his head and exhaled.

"Aren't they a little young for you, Coulson?" he asked. "I mean one Fitz plus one Simmons still doesn't make one Coulson. Will they be even old enough to drink at your Bonding Ceremony?"

Somehow, he should have anticipated that Eagle Eyed Alpha Felix Blake would have put two and two together and realized what Leo Fitz was an Omega. What wasn't surprising was that Felix Blake hadn't said one word even though he was a mandated reporter of unbonded Adult Omegas.

Nor had his lapse been picked up by Jeff Mace's overdependence on lie detectors. Felix's chronic pain level screwed the system so thoroughly they couldn't get a baseline to extrapolate from.

"We haven't each broached that yet, Blake. For now, it's … it is what it is…"

It was post morning jitters of an old man. It was awkwardness and hesitancy, combined with an almost bitter awareness that neither Simmons nor Fitz wished to sit with him at his daughter's wedding brunch. Yet he struggled to look on the bright side. He remembered how Jemma's skin had tasted, Leo's quiet gasps when Phil had gone down on him and the bittersweet realization that for the first time in far too long, he hadn't been alone.

God, Audrey. Their daughter was beautiful, and he missed Audrey so damn much now.

Coulson's smile was tight and then Blake leaned towards him. "Don't make the mistake I did and think you can save him. That's all I'm asking as you don't deserve that hell. Your wife, God rest her soul, was a remarkable soul. She was probably the only well-adjusted Omega I've ever known."

"You and Jasper?" Phil asked, and hated himself for doing so because Felix's countenance darkened.

"Sleeper Sitwell?" Blake's tone was flat. "I had too much to drink last night, possibly assisted by Hydra Boy. We doubled backed beasted it, though I swore never again after I found out that he was a Sleeper Agent."

"You kept him out of prison," Phil offered that hesitantly.

Phil had witnessed the hysterical Jasper Sitwell pleading with the wheelchair confined Felix to believe him; that their Bond hadn't been a lie; that he had been coerced into working with HYDRA. A stone-faced Blake had emotionlessly informed Jasper that he had viewed Jasper's memories and it had confirmed only one thing. Jasper Sitwell was a natural born liar.

"I needed a nurse," Felix tersely explained. "Someone to do my prep for me. Least I didn't have to pay Sitwell and I don't have to pretend to be a happy person with him."

Phil let Felix's claim pass uncontested but he couldn't prevent himself from mourning memories of the past.

Audrey, hosting Christmas Eve, while the newly bonded Felix and Jasper had sat together on the couch. Blake had just come off some god forsaken cluster fuck and he had been battered and exhausted. Jasper had tenderly cossetted the irascible Blake the entire evening, and Audrey had heartedly approve of their bonding.

"Felix needs someone to take care of him," Audrey had whispered to Phil while they had clandestinely watched from the kitchen. "And Jasper needs to be a caretaker for someone."

"Why?" Phil had asked, because that seemed like complete role reversal.

"Somebody really hurt Jasper so he can't help but fear how quickly affection can turn into darkness," Audrey had whispered. "He hides it very well, but sometimes the fear comes through. Felix understands that, so he lets Jasper do whatever he needs to feel safe. They're a good bond."

"Almost as good as us?"

"Nobody's as good as us. I was so lucky that I met you," she murmured.

"Just be careful, Phil," Felix insisted. "Don't be stupid like me. Ok?"

"Felix, if anything happens to me, you'll keep an eye out on them?" Phil asked.

"Yes. Would you willing to be do the same for Jasper?" Felix asked. He paused and grimaced, "It's a lot to ask, I know. I don't know even know why… I should care. Our relationship was a HYDRA construct, after all."

Phil remembered Jasper's desperate appeals, the ring of sincerity in his tone, Blake's dead eyes, Audrey's soft assessment, 'Somebody really hurt Jasper so he can't help but fear how quickly affection can turn into darkness'.

And he remembered all too well Jasper's panicked phone calls after Blake's near death stomping.

"Yes," Phil easily agreed.

The two men sat in silence until Skye, the blushing bride, came up to them. There was a rather confused appearing maître d' trailing behind her. "Uncle Felix! I'm glad you're sitting at the head table as I was worried that I'd have to make a scene so you and Auntie Jasper would sit here on my big day. Now, I'll need two more place settings by my father. I'll be back with FitzSimmons! HOWEVER, Uncle Felix needs coffee, desperately. Please hurry. It's a matter of national security that Uncle Felix gets his coffee."

Skye then happily went on her way, leaving Felix and Phil both dazed and confused by her easy victory. The maître d' appeared much the same way, but fortunately he began to quickly order his staff.

A very subdued Sitwell shortly appeared, carrying two plates. The heavily loaded one was hesitantly placed in front of Blake and then he continued to hold the other. Warily, as though he feared Blake would throw the plate at him.

"I thought you'd prefer not to wait in the buffet line. Got your favorites?" Sitwell hesitantly offered.

Blake nodded.

In a quieter voice, Sitwell added, "Skye wants me to sit next to you… wants a family picture…"

Blake stared at something only he could see and when he finally spoke his voice was ice, "Sit on my right. That way the people that want can easily crop us."

A cowed Sitwell nodded his head and then spoke to Phil. "FitzSimmons promised to grab you breakfast."

Well, his favorite set of sassy scientists were taking their own sweet time to get him fed, so Phil decided he'd grab a muffin. Because he was paying for the brunch, not because he wanted to escape from Blake and Sitwell. Ok, he did, but he was hungry, ok?

"Come on, he wants us to sit with him," Jemma insisted while she balanced two plates. "He'll be so terribly disappointed if we don't sit with him."

"It's for family, Jem," protested Fitz.

"Family doesn't have to be blood. I mean, Blake and Sitwell aren't related to him and May isn't."

Fitz took a quick glance at the head table, where Jasper Sitwell was sitting next to Felix Blake.

"Blake looks pretty rough," Jemma offered.

"Hung over, you mean," Fitz retorted.

"Then you better come with me when I sit with Coulson," Jemma stated as she tossed her hair back in the way that Fitz knew meant that he'd follow her to the ends of the Earth. Sometimes, he wondered why she put up with such a sad sack such as himself when she could have anyone.

Anyone at all.

Like Coulson, his inner Omega reminded him.

She squeezed his hand and whispered, "Unless you regret last night?"

Fitz melted.

"No," he whispered his protest. "It's j-j-just…"

Sometimes, when he was nervous, the old stammer from his brain injury flared anew and made him mute.

All of my life, I've been terrified of Alphas… how as an Omega, I'd have to submit… no matter what… and… last night… he… he…didn't…. he wasn't…. he… I…. he was … I…. and I shouldn't… be… because I remember how he…. Sat next to me… after I got hurt. And last night… he… he… repeated the Full Sacrament to me.

When Fitz had been in a coma, Coulson had sat next to his bedside after he ordered Simmons to get some sleep. He had snuck him Irn Bru and Fitz's personal favorite sweet - taiblet. Only later on did Fitz find out that Coulson had made the complicated sweet himself.

And last night, Phil had spoken the Sacrament. The full version.

As an Alpha, I will not coerce or force from you what only should be willingly given. For under God, we are equals. I understand that what is about to occur between us is sacred and I am deeply honored.

Fitz waved his hands as even his thoughts were stammering, and Simmons' eyes softened.

"Oh, I understand," she assured him. "When you've wanted something for so long when you finally have it… you need to permit yourself to enjoy it. You need to trust..."

"I do trust him."

Simmons leaned towards him and whispered, "Trust yourself."

"He'll make a good father for your babies," whispered Fitz which caused Simmons to pinken.

There was the sound of a plate being dropped. FitzSimmons turned in the direction of the noise and they realized that a startled Phil Coulson had dropped his plate, leaving a lone, shattered blueberry muffin in his wake.

His jaw was in dire threat of being dislocated and he was incapable of speech.

-=- 2 -=-

"AC, you look a little shellshocked," Skye murmured as she rescued him from the dropped blueberry muffin and FitzSimmons who apparently desired his fresh DNA for their own nefarious purposes. "Did you and FitzSimmons …"

She made a rather rude gesture with her hands and Coulson glared at his problem child. "Your mother wouldn't appreciate that gesture, young lady."

The look she bestowed on him was one of amused pity.

"No, she did not teach you that," he vainly protested though he could hear Audrey laughing.

Loudly.

His daughter took pity on him, and pulled him to the side.

"What's bothering you? Is it Uncle Felix and Auntie Jasper? I insisted that Jasper come, as he was worried that his presence would be a problem. I'll go pretend to cry and Uncle Felix will behave."

Her eyes filled with mock tears.

"Jemma wants a baby," he explained which caused the fake tears to stop.

"Yes, she has had baby fever for the last few years. I know she and Fitz were trying every chance that they could. They hadn't been successful which Jemma informed me was not that unusual as they are both Betas and that she'd have better luck if Fitz was a male Alpha…." Fortunately, Skye ceased talking then and her eyes grew wide as she looked upon her favorite Alpha (So sorry, don't tell her new husband that). "Am I gonna be a big sister?"

"I took precautions," was his prim admission.

Though he couldn't really be sure that the ScienceTwins hadn't science up something when he was asleep. (And well, they would have asked him right? If they were taking a deposit? Or should that be … making a withdrawal?)

Then again, he had been rather… virile.

Multiple mind blowing orgasms (A rather surprising amount for a man of his age… who had been by himself for the last few years)

"Besides, she and Fitz are a couple," he added. A Beta and an Omega who was impersonating a Beta. And if anyone found out… that Fitz was Alpha-less (MACE) there would be a firestorm.

He was too old for them, but … if anything happened to him, say…. Death by Sexual Exhaustion (Simmons), Fitz could claim Phil as his Alpha.

"AC, they've been hot for your frame for a while," his daughter informed him. "It's not usual for two Betas to pick up an Alpha for the 3 fs. Fun, Festivities and …. ."

"Skye!"

"Fertility…" which was not the word Skye was about to utilize.

Phil shook his head.

"Especially Fitz," admitted Skye. "He's been crushing on you for so long."

"I have to disagree," vainly protested Phil.

"He's very shy," offered Skye.

Phil remembered all the arguments about the monkeys (with their cute little hands) and Fitz's budget so he couldn't help his snort of disbelief.

"Ok, he's very shy when he deals with Alphas in social settings. When he's arguing tech, it's completely different. Go. Have fun. It's ok if you give them what she really wants," Skye assured him.

It wasn't that simple. It never was.

"It has to be what they both want."

"Fitz wants Simmons to be happy," was all his daughter said.

"But…" Phil protested. It was the truth, but did Fitz really want a broken down, balding, one armed Phil Coulson for him? Or just because Jemma wanted his DNA?

"Mom won't be angry," Skye assured him. "I think she'd like them."

Yes, Audrey would have.

"I'll have to be part of everything," he paused as he realized what he just said.

"Dad, that's a given. Now, go, kiss and make up. Jemma looks worried and Fitz is having several litters of kittens."

A quick glance proved her point. FitzSimmons were watching him. They were terrified, and yes, they were standing next to each other. So close that they were touching, and both of them had two plates in their hands.

"I brought you a new muffin," Jemma offered.

Warily, as though she feared that Phil would throw the plate at them.

He thought of Blake and Jasper, what they once had, and whatever they had now… and he thought of Audrey.

Oh, Aud….forgive me. I'm just so lonely.

"We need to talk later." He smiled then, to let them know that he wasn't angry. "If you want my help… I'll help…we'll just need to talk first. To make sure all three of us are ok with everything."

Jemma's smile was like the sunrise. And yes, Fitz smiled also.

"Get rid of the sausage," she informed Fitz.

Phil shook his head in confusion.

"You're eating healthy from now on," she explained.

"What about my muffin?" Phil asked as he had been looking forward to a fresh blueberry muffin chock full of fresh Maine blueberries. "I get my muffin, at least, don't I?"