This takes place after the whole Lord of the Rings series and is a bit AU.

As I endured the insults, hoping that Legolas would keep control beside me, I heard something behind us that sent my anger level through the roof. As if going into this 'enemy land' wasn't stressful enough and hoping that Legolas wouldn't say anything incriminating or really anything at all. It would be best if nothing was said. Let them get out all their insults and then we can go. I was actually quite surprised and satisfied he hadn't said anything yet. I kept expecting him to shove their words in their face or jump into more physical means, not just for their current words but for the past sins.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. After all I am the one lacking in impulse control, well most of the time in any case. He knows the risk, the danger we are in and the stupidity of openly fighting them. We just have to get in, find my little brother, and get back out. Challenging enough in normal circumstances, that is, on my own. With another golden head the odds of avoiding a major fight were near impossible; unless we ran into my elder brother. But something like that was always a gamble. My older brother is very busy and always here or there, what with his duties as the heir.

However, a non elf accompanying us, well.. that is pure suicidal. My rangers know better than such pure idiocy. I distinctly recall telling him to remain in the village where it would be safe. I remember us all agreeing to it. I remember laying out the reasons he could absolutely NOT come with Legolas and me. I remember a ridiculous argument where I thought we finally got out into the open and all understood each other why he could not come. Apparently I was mistaken. So much for him being the most mature of us all. He is a king for valars sake, he is supposed to have a bit of common sense. What horrible timing for him to have an immature moment. Damn mortal. How am I going to get us out of this alive?

Hmm, he is hidden for the moment. They are so wrapped up in their insults they seem to have forgotten they are on watch. If I wasn't so relieved at him not being noticed yet I would rub it in their faces, but no, I need a plan quickly for he will not remain hidden forever.

Before I could come up with a plan he comes strolling up, greeting the watch in the lost tongue. I could only stare, horrified. Legolas was equally surprised, not at his presence for he knew the mortal was there the moment I did. No, Legolas was surprised at his strolling up and speaking in that tongue. After all we had discussed it was hard to believe this was the same human I left back at the inn.

Luckily the watch seemed equally bewildered. It was unheard of for any mortal to enter these woods without an escort. He clearly had no escort. Even if he had entered with me, well I don't count as an 'escort' either. This is not my home. Not anymore.

Should I pretend that I don't know him? No, that won't work. He knows too much and everything coming out of his mouth would just make things worse. No. I need him gone or unconscious. Maybe I should knock him out while they are still frozen in shock, before he can say anything else. But they will want to take him for questioning and there he will give everything away. Damn idiot mortal. What possessed him to follow us? I have half a mind to just thrash him right here. That should keep the watch shocked enough and probably amused that they might let it pass without faulting us.

Oh no, their shock is wearing off and anger is taking over. I have to act now or I lose complete control. We could all be killed actually. Realizing this I could feel pure rage taking over. Far outdoing both of the watch put together. As the 'human' looked over at me, he actually took a step back. Surprised by the rage in my eyes no doubt. He looks a bit nervous now. Good, maybe he is finally realizing the severity of the situation. Damn reckless mortal. Even I wouldn't do something so suicidal when it endangered others.

As the taller of the watch opened his mouth I stepped over to 'the idiot human', for that is all I could think of him at the moment. Grabbing his arms in my hands I shook him hard saying, "What in valars name is wrong with you? Are you completely without brain?"

The watch, taken aback by my response, were stunned into silence and could only watch as I continued reigning such lecturing wrath down upon him. I was beyond furious at the mess he had made and glad at the measure of unease I was starting to see in his eyes.

I was also thankful Legolas hadn't intervened. I had forgotten his presence there for a moment, so wrapped up in the human's idiocy and keeping track of the watch's reaction. Thankfully the watch seemed to be enjoying the show, finding the situation amusing enough that I thought we might be able to make it out of this without a big mess.

"Now it seems your brain is too small to understand and follow simple directions so I am going to escort you back and find you a sitter until I can deal with you, idiot human. And you are not going to move until I return. IS. THAT. CLEAR?" I practically yelled in his face.

He was too stunned to respond anything but, "Yes ma'm." For which I was thankful. His idiot stunt was still likely to have repercussions, however maybe I could play this to just use as additional insults against myself and not be faulted for it beyond that. I could only hope.

I let go of him and turned to the watch replaying in common tongue so all could understand. I knew it was important that he was ridiculed and they knew he could understand it. "I am sorry for the idiot human. He is a bit slow you understand. But he will be soundly thrashed I can assure you."

I grabbed his arm and started dragging him out of the woods, not waiting for Legolas but no matter as he followed.

I could hear the watch laughing at our exit. Jeering and hurling insults about the 'idiot human' and how I couldn't control my mortals. 'My mortal' indeed. 'My' mortals know better than such idiocy. They would never have even so much considered doing what this one had done. This one is Legolas', not mine.

I looked over at Legolas, trying to gage his response as we exit the forest and mount the horses but his expression is unreadable. I gather he is thinking the situation over, waiting until we are out of hearing and sight of the forest.

As we get to the horses I lift the idiot human up onto the horse and climb up in front of him. All the while continuing the insults and cursing under my breath. Trying to figure out how to salvage the situation when I return. Maybe I could enter the forest through a different side where word has not yet reached of this incident.

My thoughts were interrupted as events finally caught up with the human. I cut off all his protests with a low cool, "One word and I shall pull you off this horse and thrash you right in the middle of this meadow. You almost got us killed and I will not speak to you at the moment."

I heard his mouth slam shut and felt him look over at Legolas, but he got no response. Legolas was looking straight ahead, lost in his own thoughts. I imagine they were both quite thrown with my current authority as I was still in my final growth usually at the bottom of any line of authority, following whatever they said, well more or less in any case.

I heard the sound of many hooves off to the left and turned towards them. I heard Legolas look up in surprise but turn with me. This was perfect. Finally a bit of luck. I could find out current news and find a sitter for this idiot human. I did not relish entering the wood but knew it could not be avoided, and it was best to just get it over with before they all caught wind of the incident and brought me up on it. Best get him out and stay away for a couple centuries, until this dies down a bit more. Of course they would never forget this. Damn immortals that they are. But at least tempers could die down so it would be no more than a humiliation for me.

I wonder if it is obvious who the mortal is or if I should have been more clear about it. Constructive reviews appreciated, flames will be ignored.