Hephaistion's Perfect World

December 2016 by Lysis

This is a fantasy spoof that Hephaistion occasionally engages in while dealing with a particular Persian youth who has joined Alexander's circle. Diplomacy may be his middle name, but being human at times he must retain his sanity, and so, Hephaistion allows his darker side to entertain certain whimsies when his frustration becomes more than he can bear politely.

(A very naughty elf wrote this.)


Chapter 1

His eyes narrowed, and he could swear his hair bristled on his scalp, fists clenching as of the own accord he muttered in barrack's Macedonian under his breath as he entered the small carpeted chamber. Alexander was in his bath, eyes closed, luxuriating in the scented steam rising in the air as though to tempt him on. Damp golden curls hung caressingly about his handsome face, and joy glowed brightly as he opened his eyes as Hephaistion came near. A wide smile spread across his full lips and he gave a soft sigh reaching out his hand. "Tion!"

Hephaistion stiffened, his gaze immediately fastened on the black eyed youth standing behind the king. "Bagoas, Baa…Ba…go..ass." He just barely kept from sneering, as it was he drew out the the last syllable into one long hiss. Oh, for an adder's long tongue to flick at the youth and send him screeching like some silly girl from the room. The graceful youth smiled at him and bowed, as was appropriate for his station. Exquisitely epicene, Bagoas' long wavy black hair swung tantilizing about his slender shoulders and gleamed with a very dark bluish cast. It complimented his ivory skin perfectly. How nice it would look dripping with stinking, slimy mud. Oh, Hades! Hephaistion muttered not just the hair, but all of him. He'd love to drop in him some greasy, foul pit somewhere.

"Truly, Hephaistion, what is the matter with you? Be civil!" Hephaistion treated Alexander to his most sought after smile, as he envisioned dropping a large boulder on Bagoas' head. He was just another of Alexander's little pets, Hephaistion coddled himself with the thought. He could bear it he told himself if it didn't go on for much longer.

Patroklos' place, a uniquely private one, which he had called his own for so long had been usurped by the interloper, again. The pages he had never minded, he knew Alexander's weakness for beautiful boys, and it was their duty as he and Alexander came of age to mentor them, but this was becoming different. The boy was becoming a fixture! Hephaistion cleared his throat and relaxed his balled up fists, which he had been keeping hidden close in his mantle. The deep rich, honeyed attar that smelt of blue lotus delighted his senses until Hephaistion found himself studying Alexander and Bagoas curiously. His eyes became heavy for a moment and he drifted off, his thoughts forming into fantasy:

"Alexander, my Lord…Great King," Hephaistion near bowed himself in half as he approached slowly allowing a certain note to linger in his voice. Alexander's dreamy blue gaze met his longingly and he answered it, but a bit more slowly than usual. Make him wait, Hephaistion told himself as he watched Alexander moan softly as the….the, that boy massaged his sore shoulders.

Alexander turned slightly in his hip bath, splashing the scented water on Hephaistion's feet. Hephaistion backed up quickly, and felt his back collide with the slender form of Bagoas who wiggled like a snake away from him. "Don't look so ominous Tion, Bagoas doesn't bite." Alexander grinned at both men and winked at Hephaistion. Hephaistion bite his tongue to prevent it from presenting him with a smart argument. It was Alexander who bit, hard too. Suddenly Hephaistion couldn't prevent his eyes from roaming the boy's slender neck. Hmm, nothing, good. It had better stay that way too if Al….

"Oh, arguing with Parmenion and Philotas makes me so tense. You know how I seem to hold it all in my shoulders." Alexander gabbled on, his eyes seeking his companion's agreement. Hephaistion watched him with a bemused smiled on his face. "Bagoas is learning, but he hasn't got your touch." His blue gaze entreated. Hephaistion responded with a slight grin.

And he never will, you dolt! He isn't me. He allowed the thought to bloom in his head, but left it unspoken as he turned toward the pathetic creature. "I doubt you are putting enough pressure on those muscles, Bagoas, press harder, much harder, just ignore him if he cries out. Alexander won't mind, we know how he can stand pain like no other. Non, non, here…let me show you." His face a stern mask of irritation Hephaistion "politely" shoved the long haired youth away so roughly he lost his balance and rolled head first into a nearby clothing chest with a resounding and pleasing thump. A small half open ivory casket sitting atop the chest bounced off Bagoas' bent head and spilled open releasing a cascade of small mummified mice Alexander had been experimenting with. Where he found the time, Hephaistion would never know, but it was pure Alexander. He always had to have something bubbling away in those little glass beakers Aristotle had given him. At least this time it was not some obnoxious medication he would insist Hephaistion try out. Ah, nai, the Hideous Boy would do beautifully for those times, a new guinea pig! Hephaistion made a mental note to mention this to Alexander. Truss him up like a chicken the way Alexander had done with him when experimenting on wrapping broken bones and such. Bagoas would no doubt adore it! Bagoas squealed as the desiccated, musty creatures fell on his silken garments and scented hair.

"Alright there, Bagoas?" Casually, removing his cloak, and sandals, he ignored the boy who was moaning and wiping blood and mice parts from his perfect face. Clucking at Alexander's cries of concern for Bagoas, Hephaistion knelt down behind the hip bath and placed his finger tenderly on Alexander's shoulders.

"Oh just relax, Xandros. Bagoas is fine, it's just a little blood. Nothing to worry about. Now close your eyes and lean back, let me make you feel better."

"Nai, nai, oh that's so much better." Alexander moaned sensually as he eyed his Persian boy who was making little noises of distress and disgust as he gingerly picked up each bit of mummified rodent with trembling hands and placed it back in the casket. "Be careful of those mice Bagoas!" Alexander's voice rose with concern, and his brow frowned gloweringly. Place them gently back in the box. I've spent hours experimenting on the mummification process." Hephaistion's smile widened as he watched Bagoas long fingers tremble each time he plucked up another dried, crumbling mouse body. He cleared his throat as he immediately wiped a blooming smile off his face. Alexander was making the oddest little guttural sounding noises. Hmmm…

"Agggh, I, ah…Tion softer! Tion, that's too hard! Phaistion! That hurts!" Alexander gurgled as he struggled under the unyielding grip clenching into his skin and muscles.

"Really, oh, oh, do forgive me! I must have gotten lost in my endeavor to please you." A slender grin lifted his beautiful lips as Alexander continued to squirm for release and Bagoas skittered away to a protective corner.

"Tion, Tion…ah, Hephaistion!" Hephaiston shook his head, widened his distracted gaze, allowing the fantasy to vanish as Alexander's voice plowed through his fantasy. He sighed and pulled his mouth into a sour moue as he met Bagoas' darkly curious gaze.

"Nai, I am here." He pulled up a clothing stool and nodded at Bagoas who handled his a cup of wine.

"You went away." Alexander's voice was light and full of teasing. "Was it anywhere nice?" Hephaistion's gaze met his and then flowed over to Bagoas.

"Very pleasant, nai."

To be continued...