You know it probably says something about how used to weird shit I am that, outside of a slight widening of my eyes and raising of an eyebrow, I'm unfazed by the cartoonish text box that had been floating in the center of my vision since I woke up this morning. Sprawled out on my bed like I'd just been stabbed and left for dead I simply read it again.
YOU ARE THE GAMER
Why am I getting a sense of deja vu here?
...Meh, whatever I have more important things to think about. Like if I'm crazy or about to start a journey for PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!
…God I'm making a lot of references today.
With my thoughts as focused as borderline ADHD allows I gracefully made my way off of my comfortable mattress. *Cough* Flopped out like a lizard on LSD *Cough* Eventually finding my feet as the pop-up vanishes with my movement I mutter the word that will prove to me I will be venturing off for fame, adventure, and power. "Inventory," What getting told your so called 'Status' could just be some random as hell fluke of lucid dreaming/hallucinating that just gives you exactly whatever BS you want or expect to hear.
This is the warping of time and space allowing for storage of items in a pocket dimension where time does not flow. If that isn't proof I don't know what is!
Error: 001-B
[Instance of requested course of action by User is unavailable]
...Oh that's not good.
Wisdom and Intelligence has increased by 1
Fuck you too!
I don't swing that way.
…
Reaching over for my phone to check the time it's only 8am. And on a Sunday to boot.
"Yep it's just as I feared, too early for this crap." I say as I roll back onto my bed to try and sleep off the headache that's begun. Only for my door to be thrown open not even ten seconds later.
"Cole, wake up!" Biting back the urge to curse with a practiced ease. I crane my head from my pillow to give the brunette women that is my mother the most dead stare I can possibly manufacture. "Grblr" I grunt out.
"Come on you've been asleep since two o'clock yesterday. And you're going to eat something for skipping dinner." Rolling back over to sit on my bed I give a small 'shoo' motion with my hand and rub the bridge of my nose with the other. Luckily that's enough to convince her I'm moving and she gives, herself i assume, a nod of satisfaction before spinning on her heel and closing my door behind me.
With a sigh I stretch my arms out to get the kinks out of my shoulders before returning to what I was about to give up on as simply an illusion of wish fulfillment. May as well go through and see what fresh hell some fool is making a fanfic over.
"Status" I state allowing for the relatively expected response of two text boxes coming into existence with the first holding fairly normal page of pitifully low stats. That's depressing I mean come on I swim everyday and work my ass off for it and I get very near jackshit for it? That ain't cool.
Wait just gotta cover my last name with my thumb real quick and there! Totally fanfic proof. Absolutely no way that people can figure out who I am.
Cole
Title: Undecided
Class: Undecided
LV: 2
EXP: 450/4000
Hp: 275
Hp Regen: 4/min
Mp: 350
Mp Regen: 5/min
Str: 6
Dex: 4
Vit: 3
Int: 6
Wis: 3
Luck: 4
STAT POINTS: 0
The second page appears to be a list of skills as well as what I assume is going to be my elemental affinities since it's currently a blank stat block at the bottom of the window.
{Gamer's Mind}
The standard loadout piece of any with an ability resembling the original Korean wielder's gift from Gaia. Allows for the user to keep calm in any situation should the need arise and gives protection from mental attacks and effects.
{Gamer's Body}
The standard loadout piece of any with an ability resembling the original Korean wielder's gift from Gaia. The user's body will heal of any damage that would otherwise hinder its ability to function in any meaningful way as long as the user still has Hit Points.
{Primal Ferocity}
A characteristic shared by some of history's greatest and simultaneously most violently brutal combatants that represents their simplistic and destructive methods of fighting. Increases all gains to stats via fighting an increase of 50% and all experience to skills through fighting a 150% boost.
Affinities:{}
Alright I take back what I said those are definitely not skills. Traits or perks or something like that may be more accurate. Though I really question that last one. Contrary to popular belief I've not actually been in a fight before. Let alone any of… that.
Before I can call for a skills list or some equivalent. I hear an incredibly muffled voice through my door. Who in the world…? Oh right eat breakfast or be yelled at. I remember now. Standing myself up and walking out into the hall I take a few turns before the corridor opens to my house's living room.
I live in a fairly small one story building with the dining room, kitchen, and living room all semi sectioned off by the island/bar/countertop that we never use except when somebody is cooking everything that is stored in our fridge. In other words Thanksgiving.
Strolling over to the kitchen I pass by both my mom and dad on the couch watching the news. My mom is a somewhat overweight, white woman with shoulder length brown hair in her 40s that's currently wearing an old grey nightgown. My father was once a decently built, athletic asian man. Now nearing his mid-50s he's put on a few pounds but has still kept the relatively lean build of a 5' 5" football wide receiver. Who's currently wearing a dull yellow-gold shirt with navy blue shorts and crocs.
Quickly looting the fridge I find a plastic bag filled with a handful of pigs-in-a-blanket from a few days ago. Popping them onto a plate from the cupboards and I reheat them only to retrace my steps back to my room to eat as well as experiment. Luckily neither of them stop me that would've been annoying.
"Brush your teeth when you finish!" Resisting the urge to make a comment on not being three I, instead, just nod my head. Easier to just agree and not argue or I'm not gonna get anyw-
"And shave that scruff off your face!" That time I don't stop the groan that makes it's way past my lips as I turn the corner. I admit I've gotten a bit lax on that but it's barely anything. As I finally make it to my room I quietly nudge the door closed as I slip through the doorway.
My room's fairly basic, a bed on the same wall as the door, with the closet on the other side of my doorway, a semi-clustered desk with my computer on it, a window opposite my door with my dresser under it, and two shelves on either side of it with random toys/books from when I was younger on them.
Finding a spot to settle my plate on my desk I continue to occasionally pop one in my mouth as I attempt to figure out this possible power. Though I'm still like 35% sure I'm hallucinating this entire thing.
Alright so things that can be easily figured out and really need explaining and/or testing is finding a skills list without any knowledge outside of my stats and these traits I'll be going nowhere fast. Then quests, more specifically where are mine? Since I'm bound to have created at least one or would have begun with a tutorial quest yet I've been given no notifications outside of stat increases. And on the topic of stats why are my starting stats so abysmally low? Commonly human average is depicted as a 10 in any given stat. Though it's possible that isn't true for my system so I'll need to find some way of figuring that out. What? I like to believe I'm at least average.
May as well start at the top and see if I can mentally call up these windows while I'm at it. Thinking 'Skills' thankfully has the intended result. Creating a singular pop-up listing out a multitude of skills in the classic style.
{Stealth}LV:2
Large men in black plate mail with red cloaks and plumes don't sneak worth a damn. Unluckily for others you don't have that problem and can sneak marginally better than what most people expect out of a 5' 9" high schooler.
-Decreases chance of being spotted while not under direct observation by 2%
-Increases chance to be lost/unidentified in a crowd of at least 20 individuals by 2%
{Physical Endurance}LV:5
I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because YOU SAID I COULDN'T.
-Decrease damage of physical attacks by 2.5%
{Crafting}LV:5
{Carpenting}LV:2
Woodworking-NOT THAT KIND YOU SICK BASTARD!
-Allows for the creation of simple, crude, and usually non-aesthetically pleasing basic tools and furniture made wood.
{DIY}LV:3
We'll have you known as the second coming of Macgyver. No refunds though, just in case :)
-Allows for the creation of simple and crude tools for slightly more advanced tasks made of seemingly random pieces of junk and a shit-load of duct tape.
{Expeditious Retreat}LV:6
Run, motherfucker! Run!
-Increases movement speed by 31%
-Decreases penalties to movement due to terrain by 3%
That's actually not all that bad. Would've thought I'd have more but it's certainly better than nothing. Kinda wonder how it determined what skills I got though. Random picks? Some of the highest level ones? The lowest level? God damnit, even more questions and no answers!
Ruffling my hands through my hair I let out a growl of frustration. Only to jump as the air a couple feet in front of my face, opens up (for lack of a better term). The air expanding out in a black spherical form that has blue lightning crackling along its surface. In the second it took to form it was equally swift to turn itself inside out in a flash of that same pale blue coloration.
Leaving a square slip of paper slowly fluttering to the floor.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING!?
A/N: Can we all just agree not to talk about how long I took to get back in to this? Cause that'd be great.
...No?
Well shit...
