Love, Marriage, and Babies

"A journey into the more... humorous, facets of pairings."

Disclaimer: Do you honestly believe that I own Naruto? ... I didn't think so.

Introduction:

Hello, and welcome to my idea of what could happen if any fan-pairings happened. Some fics might explore the positive sides of pairings, but I am going to rip into any possible relationship problems, and use them to entertain myself and the depraved masses. Now, prepare yourself for stupid jokes, possible character bashing, and things that would make almost any Naruto fan vomit in their sleep, yah, I dunno what that means either. (Shrugs)

Now, to kick off this story, and the inevitable flames from furious readers, I shall do:

NaruSasu: The Last Straw!

Love

Now First of all, if this were to happen the confession would be something like this...

Sasuke (Standing in the forest): Naruto! I love you!

Naruto (Standing in a meadow of flowers): Sasuke! I love you too!

Sasuke and Naruto (With their respective backdrops): Really? ... Yes, I do!

Sasuke and Naruto ran in slow motion to one another, and met in a massive hug, complete with crying and an ocean sunset, in a blatant ripoff of Gai and Lee, so blatant in fact, that one person points out that I merely ripped the footage from episode 22 and pasted Naruto and Sasuke's heads onto the bodies of Gai and Lee.

Sasuke: Oh Naruto!

Naruto: Oh Sasuke!

Sasuke: Naruto!

Naruto: Sasuke!

Itachi (Watching all this from behind a conveniently placed rose garden): Twitch. Twitch. 'Don't worry Itachi, I'm sure it's just a phase.'

Marriage

Now it has been a whole two days since their cheesy love-fest, and Naruto and Sasuke have decided to get married.

Pastor: Sigh. 'Go to technical school, get a diploma, Mom said. I just had to become a scientology pastor. God, I hate my life.' Do you, Sasuke Uchiha, take Naruto Uzumaki, to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Sasuke: ... I do.

Pastor (Putting on a fake smile): 'Great.' Now, do you, Naruto Uzumaki, take Sasuke Uchiha, to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Naruto: I do!

Pastor: Then, by the power vested in me, by the church of Tom Cruise, I pronounce you, 'A sin against all that is good and pure,' husband and husband. You may now kiss whoever the heck you want. 'Gawd, I need a drink... or a length of rope...'

And Naruto and Sasuke proceeded to tear into each other in a display so ecchi that would cause any yaoi fan-girl to die of a nosebleed.

Itachi (Sweating and twitching): 'It's not that bad, I mean they can always get divorced... right?'

Babies

About two months after the wedding, Naruto had brought Sasuke to the park. When they got there, Naruto pulled Sasuke aside to have a little talk. Now after their talk, Naruto was feeling penchant, and decided to ask Sasuke a question.

Naruto: Sasuke... we have been together for a while... and I've been thinking... I WANT KIDS!

Sasuke (Looking uncomfortable): Umm uh... that isn't really possible for us...

Naruto (Confused): Why not? I've got the adoption forms right here.

Sasuke (Embarrassed): Uhhh... never mind...

Naruto: Okay!

Later, at the adoption agency...

Adoption person (Looking frustrated): Here is the boy.

They took one look at the adorable, red-headed chibi, and they were like 'KAWAII!'.

Naruto: We'll adopt him!

Adoption person: What would you like to name him?

Sasuke: Hmmmm... Aha! I will name him... Fred Uchiha!

Now, Itachi was watching from the shadows, and when he heard the name of 'Uchiha' given to a 'commoner', he snapped. He killed Sasuke and then took advantage of Naruto's shock by knocking him out. Itachi brought Naruto back to the Akatsuki, and they were able too extract Kyuubi, however Kyuubi was too strong, it destroyed Akatsuki, and then attacked Konoha, finishing what it had started.

Now, thus came the annihalation of Konoha, and the collapse of the world's economy. All because Naruto and Sasuke got hitched.

line

EF9: Yeah, you have probably figured out by now, that I despise yaoi.

Kyuubi: Yeah... they probably figured that out when they learned that you are the founder of the AYP. (Anti-Yaoi Patrol for you uneducated peons)

DEF666: If you are interested, we also oppose : Yuri, Incest, and Mary-Sues. If you wish to join, go to his profile and read for directions on how to join. (Gives nice-guy pose)

EF9: But most importantly, remember...

All: R&R!-!-!

TTFN!