It was early in the morning, so early that the sun had not even risen yet, and I was out for a ride.
My horse slowly made his way through the quiet forest. I urged him into a slow, gentle canter, and he obeyed, quickly changing his gait. Though he was not used to such early morning rides, he was still a responsive and obedient creature.
I'd set out from Cair Paravel perhaps almost an hour ago, which meant I was nearing my destination and would arrive within the next few minutes. What was my destination? The Stone Table.
And there it was!
I was out of the forest now and in the open. Up on the nearby hill laid the Stone Table.
I pulled back on the reins, and my horse stopped. There was silence. Not a sound was heard. There was no wind, no bird songs, no movement at all. Not even my horse moved. I just sat there in the saddle, feeling unable to more or get off or do anything.
But finally, after what seemed an eternity, I slowly swung my leg over the saddle and silently dismounted, the Stone never leaving my sight. And then slowly, silently, reverently, almost timidly, I approached the Stone Table. As I walked, I recalled what Susan and Lucy had told me just a few days before:
"Ed?" Lucy said hesitantly as she and Susan came up to me.
"Yes?" I replied, wondering why they looked so nervous.
"We've…got something to tell you…" Susan said slowly, glancing at Lucy.
Before I could respond, Lucy continued quickly, "We should have told you earlier, instead of waiting this long, but we didn't know how you would take it, and Su made me promise not to tell you without her, and-"
"Whoa, Lu, slow down!" I cut in, growing all the more curious as to what they were trying to tell me. "What are you trying to tell me?" There was silence as the two looked at each other once more. "Well?"
They sat down on either side of me. I watched them as they did, wishing they would just come out with it and tell me.
"Ed," Susan began slowly, as if trying to choose the right words. "Do you remember about a year ago, when the White Witch came to Aslan's camp and what she said about the Deep Magic?"
"Yeah," I said hesitantly, not sure if I was going to like where this was going.
"And do you remember the long talk between Aslan and the White Witch, and then how she renounced her claim on you?" Lucy asked. I nodded.
"Would you like to know why she renounced it?" Susan asked.
Now this caught my attention. I had always wondered about it, but I didn't dare ask in case I wasn't supposed to know – though I never got the chance to ask anyway. "Yes, I would."
Susan took a deep breath, as if this was too hard and heavy to say. "It's because Aslan took your place."
I did not fully understand at first. Took my place? How exactly? But then something the White Witch had once said replayed in my mind:
"…for every treachery I have a right to a kill."
Kill… Did they mean that Aslan took my place by being killed? But that couldn't be true! He was there at the Battle of Beruna, and he killed the Witch. So how could this be true? I looked at my sisters. "I…how can this be true? I saw him at the battle – everyone saw – and-"
"Ed," Lucy said, cutting me off. "Aslan did take your place and was killed on the Stone Table."
"But-"
"Let us explain," Susan said, giving me that look that told me to shut up. So I did.
"As I was saying," Lucy continued, "Aslan did take your place. He went to the Stone Table, where the White Witch and her evil creatures were waiting. And what they did to him…it…it was horrible. They…they beat him and spat on him and mocked him…" Lucy stopped and looked as if she were seeing it all over again and was about to cry because of it. So Susan took over.
"And the Witch killed him," she said, her voice gentle. She paused briefly to see my reaction. I was speechless, and I'm sure it showed on my face. So she continued, though her voice now seemed lighter, almost happier, "But you know what?" Still I said nothing, just waiting for her to continue.
"He came back to life!" Lucy cried joyfully, seeming to be over what she'd said earlier. "Because of the Deeper Magic, Aslan came back to life! And he saved you and all of Narnia!"
And now they were both looking at me, waiting to see my reaction. I just sat there in silence, still trying to process all this information. Aslan did all that…for me? Me, the boy who betrayed his family for candy? Me, the boy who sided with the White Witch, the enemy of Narnia? He died for me
Those thoughts ran through my mind as I tried to find my voice to speak. "O-Oh…" I finally managed out. I swallowed, finding it difficult to speak. "I…see. Thank you for telling me this. I…think I needed to hear it." I stood a bit shakily. "Now…if you'll excuse me…I need some time alone to think."
"Edmund," Susan said, "I know it must be hard to hear, but-"
"Su, let him go," Lucy said gently. I silently thanked her with a brief smile before turning to head to my room.
I stopped when I was a few yards from the Stone Table. There it was – cracked just like Susan and Lucy later told me. That was proof enough for me. There was no other reason for it to be broken in two.
My knees suddenly turned to jelly, and I fell to my hands and knees. Tears blurred my vision, but still I stared at the outline that I could see of the Stone Table. But soon I couldn't even look at that anymore, and I let my head fall as I sat on my knees.
After a few moments, I raised my head to look up at the sky. "Aslan…" I whispered, so soft I could barely hear it myself. "Why…? Why would you die for someone like me?"
Right as I finished, a gentle breeze blew against my face, and then I could no longer hold my tears back.
The breeze had seemed warm and gentle, but in a way that seemed comforting, and it gave you a sort of warm-glow feeling inside. But even more than that was an overwhelming feeling of love. And with the wind there came a soft, gentle whisper that seemed to be a part of the wind, and yet it wasn't. And the whisper said, "Because I love you."
I don't know how long I sat there just letting the tears fall, but I smiled the whole time. The smile had started out as small and hesitant, but it grew more and more as my thoughts continued and the feeling inside me intensified.
Finally, I opened my eyes, looked at the Stone Table once more, then I slowly stood and headed back to my horse – but not before whispering two more words,
"Thank You."
