Entertainment and Interruptions

Summary: It can be difficult to have a peaceful picnic when you're two of the most powerful- and as a result, two of the smelliest- demigods in the past millennium. [PercyxFem!Nico]


Disclaimer: I don't own PJO


A/N: Honestly, I've wanted to write a one shot like this for a while. I mean, I'm all for Nico being Gay in the books- that's a great message and it's just realistic, really. But in fanfiction, people have just taken it to a new- and stupid- level. My inspiration for this fic was really the fact that I remembered a couple months ago when I saw the summary for a PercyxNico fic where Percy was some kind of squid-man thing and the fic, by all indications, was graphic tentacle porn. If you want to do a good Percy and Nico fic, you need to change A) Percy's sexual preference, B) Nico's gender, C) Percy's gender and Nico's sexual preference, D) their ages, and/or E) Percy's background from before the Lightning Thief. You DO NOT need to change their species.

I didn't even open the fic but that summary kind of . . . made me lose my appetite for pretty much the rest of the day, and I just felt like I needed to put out something better. Something more tame, something more normal, and something less . . . skin-crawlingly disgusting. So when I remembered that fic last night, I just decided to write a Percy and fem Nico one shot. My decision was also compounded by the fact that I searched through more than five pages on Google and managed to find just two Percy and fem! Nico fics, one which was little more than fifteen hundred words and evidently dead at the first chapter, while the other was actually a pretty good lemon.

Anyways, in this fic, Percy's twenty one while Nico is either eighteen or nineteen. I'll leave the issue of how Annabeth's out of the picture to your imagination. I mean, there are a number of ways it could have happened. 1) Annabeth could have died, 2) the relationship might just not have worked out, 3) a straight female Nico who was logically more confident in her sexuality did her very best to keep them apart and succeeded. There are a couple other ways it could have happened too- take your pick.

In regards to Nico's character, as I mentioned, I think that with the fact that she's straight here, she'd be more self-assured in regards to her sexuality and relationships in general. I also just have this picture in my head of a confident female Nico who enjoys teasing Percy, verbally and physically. So she's completely willing to initiate something in the open, on a picnic blanket.

Sorry the Author's Notes are so long, but I just felt it was necessary to explain my motivation, reasoning, etc. for a fic type that really hasn't been done before.

This is rated M for suggestive themes, even though it doesn't go full on lemon. And well, it's probably also rated that way because of blatant monster evisceration- Mrs. O'Leary really doesn't hold back on that front. Anyways, that's all for what I have to say, so enjoy the story!


"Grrr." Mrs. O'Leary's rumbling growl was audible to anyone within one hundred feet, more akin to the sound of a race car revving its engine than a sound one would expect from a dog.

But Mrs. O'Leary wasn't just any dog, a fact one could easily deduce as they watched her rip into a cyclops. You know, if they hadn't already noticed her immense size or glowing red eyes.

And today, this particular hellhound was on guard duty.

A short ways away, on a hill, two people were having a picnic. One, an evidently athletic boy with messy black hair and sea green eyes, sported a slight tan. The other, a girl of a slightly younger age, sported shoulder length black hair that was almost as messy as her companion's and pitch black eyes that frequently held a glint of madness. No one looking would describe her as athletic, with her muscles completely hidden by her aviator jacket and her skin deathly pale.

The boy wore a faded orange t-shirt and jeans while the girl was adorned with, not including her jacket, a tight black t-shirt, black tights, and a short black skirt which wasn't really acceptable for public use. Luckily for her, she didn't plan to be in public at all that day, and her skirt was serving her purpose. Her sword- short, black, and evidently deadly- was lying a little to her left on the picnic blanket.

The girl was leaning against the boy in a way that would have left no doubt of her attraction if anyone else was watching. Given the fact that the boy didn't seem to mind at all, even running a hand through her hair- the one that he wasn't using to eat- every once in a while, when that hand wasn't wrapped around her waist, it was more than likely that he had absolutely no qualms with their position.

The sun was high in the sky, but it didn't bother the couple as they sat in the shade of a giant redwood. Nearby, a picturesque lake added to the tableau. It was practically the ideal place for any outing. Except for one small problem that really had nothing to do with the actual location.

"Well," the boy said drily as they watched Mrs. O'Leary use a harpy like a chew toy, "maybe a picnic wasn't the best idea."

"Don't be like that, Percy," the girl said, lips twitching up into a smirk. "Isn't this just fantastic entertainment?"

"Sure, Nico," Percy said. "But it's not quite the best influence on my appetite."

"You have a point," Nico mused. "You might just be on to something here."

Percy snorted. "Says the girl who hasn't stopped eating."

"Gotta eat if I want to preserve my figure." Nico purposely stretched in a way that pushed out her chest and highlighted her curves. Her jacket was open enough to give Percy a clear view of her body under the thin, form fitting, black t-shirt. "Mmmmm." She moaned in a way that she knew for a fact would get Percy excited. It helped that she was still in contact with him and he could feel her writhe against his body.

And Percy didn't disappoint, eyes riveted and mouth hanging open slightly.

"Like what you see?" Nico grinned, appreciating Percy's attention. After having gone years with an unrequited crush of epic proportions, it was more than gratifying to have Percy visibly acknowledging her as a woman. She had no qualms with showing off, as long as it was for him and only him.

She wasn't a fan of crowds, and considering that she was of the opinion that three was a crowd . . . she just wasn't a social person, at all. But with Percy, she could just open up, be herself- no. With him, she could be better than herself, more open, more chatty, just more.

"Uh-huh," Percy said, nodding absentmindedly. He shook his head to clear it. "Too much."

"Too much?" Nico asked, pouting. Percy's eyes were drawn to her lips, which were a natural shade of red that perfectly contrasted her snow white skin. Nico liked to call her skin deathly pale- because she was way too into those kind of puns- but Percy honestly found it attractive; her skin, on Nico specifically- not her bad puns.

"Too much, considering we're not exactly close to a bed right now," Percy elaborated.

"You know," Nico said, sitting up a little and turning her torso to look down at Percy, giving him a coy smile. "We could always just do it right here."

Percy choked on a drumstick.

"No, you're right," Nico continued, as if Percy had answered. "It would be a pain to clean off all the dirt afterwards. Then again, we could always just take a shower together and have sex. So, on second thought- mmph."

Nico didn't even have time to gasp as Percy pulled her down and used his most tried and true method of shutting her up- making sure her lips were occupied with something other than talking. She'd gotten him worked up and she was going to reap the consequences. Not that she was at all resisting.

On the contrary, Nico was more than willing to press herself against him, leaning down to kiss Percy while sitting in just the right position to grind against him. She was doing her level best to get him to just abandon all propriety and take her there. She'd only been half joking about just doing it on the picnic blanket.

But still, a bed would probably be better. And she just happened to have a method of near instantaneous transportation.

"Percy," Nico whispered in between heated kisses, hands running over his body as his did the same to hers. "I'll . . . take . . . us . . . t-"

She was interrupted before she could reach the end of her sentence by a loud roar. They both both rolled in different directions, jumping to their feet instantly. It wasn't as if they generally needed to fight monsters up close anymore, considering how powerful they were compared to the average monster, especially together. It was mainly their long ingrained instincts that had caused them to jump into a ready position. After another second, they both relaxed their stances, Nico releasing the hilt of her Stygian Iron sword and Percy sticking Riptide back in his pocket.

"A drakon?" Percy asked rhetorically, rolling his eyes. "I know our combined demigod smell's got to be pretty strong, but this is getting ridiculous." He observed it critically, deciding that it was just a little to big to leave to Mrs. O'Leary. While she'd certainly gotten better at gutting monsters over the years, the size difference was probably just a little too much for her to handle. He whistled and she backed away from the drakon, moving away as quickly as she could without letting it out of her sight.

Nico glared at the interruption. "Do you want to take it or should I?"

"I've got it," Percy said, waving his hand lazily. A thick stream of water shot out of the nearby lake and into the drakon's open mouth, interrupting it just before it could . . . do whatever it was gonna do- some drakons could breathe fire while others could spit acid; it was a tossup, really.

A second later, the drakon exploded. Luckily, it was almost one hundred feet away, and so despite the fact that bits of it went flying in all directions, none of its pieces landed particularly near the picnicking couple. Mrs. O'Leary, on the other hand, was delighted and went chasing after one of the biggest pieces.

"Okay, that's enough," Nico said, pouting again, though this time as a true sign of dissatisfaction rather than a ploy to get Percy excited. "We're going back to New Rome, right now."

Percy shrugged. "Fine by me."

"Good," Nico said, gesturing to their rumpled clothing. "You need to finish what you started."

"What I started? You were the one teasing me!"

Nico waved a hand. "Semantics, Percy."

"We seem to have very different definitions of semantics," Percy said, rolling his shoulders to remove any lingering stiffness from sitting down for half an hour.

"Also semantics," Nico said. "Right now, there's only one thing that matters."

"Let me guess," Percy said. "Would this happen to have anything to do with sex?"

"Why on earth would you think that?" Nico asked in an innocent tone that didn't fool Percy in the slightest. Nico's tone might not have given her away, but even if the context or just Percy's intimate understanding of Nico hadn't, her face would have. Nico could hold a frown indefinitely so long as they were around other people, but when they were alone, her poker face was nigh on nonexistent.

"I'm not complaining," Percy said, holding his hands up in surrender. As if she hadn't known that he was anticipating it as much as she was.

"Good," Nico said. "I would have just ignored it. Because I want you . . . in me . . . right now."

"Again, I'm not complaining."

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace," Nico said. When no answer was forthcoming, she stepped forward, pressing up against Percy as she leaned up and kissed him again. It was softer and less heated than what they'd been doing before the drakon, but they both knew that they'd be going at it with wild abandon as soon as they were back in the bedroom.

A second later, Nico had one hand on Percy's shoulder and one hand on her objective- something else of his- and they faded into the shadows of the giant redwood.