Notes:
This fic will be a reimagining of the last few episodes of Breaking Bad. It will follow canon somewhat, but will also vary. (I used an episode script website for the show's dialogue, so hopefully it is accurate when I'm quoting directly from the show!) I'm not sure if this has been done before, but hopefully my version is good enough to warrant some reads! I do have the entire fic written out already, so this won't be abandoned. I'm thinking about posting a chapter every week until it's all up.
This is written in a third person-ish style (I say "ish" because I probably broke some third person rules at some point, but whatever, haha), from the point of view of Walter or Jesse.
I was having some trouble with tenses in this fic, or at least I noticed it in the first chapter. I don't even know why! It kept ending up in the present tense, but I ultimately tried to keep it past tense-ish. Ugh, I dunno which would have been better. Sorry if you notice tense changes and whatnot. Hopefully any mistakes aren't too distracting!
I don't particularly like the title, but I was listening to Panic! At the Disco when I was trying to think of one and this is what it ended up being. Ha. Give a suggestion for a different title that I like and I will change it!
I feel like I didn't give enough like…descriptive/sensory details in this fic. I also worry about the narrative voices – hopefully Walt and Jesse are in character enough that what happens is believable. I hope, despite any mistakes or problems in the fic, that it's still engaging enough to read. I worry that this is just a boring mess too. Ah, insecurities!
Like I said, despite all the issues, I hope this is enjoyable and as always, hope that all of the characters are in character! Thanks for reading! (:
Chapter 1:
Grief hit him first.
Hank's unseeing eyes were still open, staring unblinking up into the sun. Walter closed his own eyes against the sight, tears trickling down his cheeks to hit the dirt below. His ragged breaths rattled out of his gaping mouth and he tried to forget Hanks' prone body lying so very close to him. He refused to believe Hank was truly gone. He was family godammit. This was not how it was supposed to happen.
His unwillingness to believe the bullet ended Hank's life led to denial. Walter reopened his eyes and stared hard at his brother-in-law. Any moment the DEA agent would take a breath and sit up gasping. The bullet would have missed his brain and miraculously left him alive.
But it did not happen. Hank remained deathly still, blood pooling beneath his head. Walter struggled to breathe, tried to rationalize what he was seeing. Before he could come to terms with Hank's life being so effectively snuffed out, he was being hauled to his feet. His bonds were released and Jack was speaking, warning him against taking action against him.
Walter felt numb, could barely process the words that were directed towards him. At Jack's prodding he mechanically agreed that he wouldn't come after Hank's killer. Jack was turning away, ready to leave him there as if he hasn't just turned his life upside-down.
Fury began to replace the cold refutation that was fluttering in his chest. This wasn't the first time Walter had dealt with death, and though this hurt so much worse than any other, he knew he could ultimately come to terms with it. He was Heisenberg, for God's sake. Hank's death had left him feeling emotionally drained, lost. But his anger was filling him up, numbing the hurt and masking the pain. He had to direct his hatred. It was so full to bursting that he had to lash out. Walter wanted someone else to feel the way he did, wanted someone to hurt.
Jack's men were bustling around, hauling away his barrels of money. His precious money. Walt's fury reached a crescendo, but he knew he couldn't lash out the burly men that surrounded him. Jack and his men outnumbered Walt, and frankly, he was no fighter. He stood no chance. No, now was not the time to take his revenge against the gang. But there was someone that Walter could hurt. Someone that deserved it.
"Pinkman."
His voice was methodical, as if he was discussing a potential business deal instead of a human life. He almost surprised himself with his words. They sounded so clear and unstrained to him. How did he sound so calm? Jack glanced at Walter, eyeing him with a look that Walter wasn't sure he understood.
"You still owe me," Walt reminded him, his voice a bit hoarse despite himself.
Jack smirked. "If you can find him, we'll kill him."
A moment passed before Walter looked towards the car Jesse was hiding beneath. "Found him," he breathed, a feeling close to elation filling his chest at the prospect of Jesse experiencing even an iota of the hurt Walter was harboring for Hank.
Jack's men approached the car at his words, reaching beneath to drag Jesse out. Jesse struggled, digging his fingers into the dirt like a desperate cat clinging with their claws. "No! Get off me!" he shouted, his voice frantic with desperation. "Get off! No! No!" He was too small, outnumbered. Couldn't fight off the burly men pulling at his ankles. Once he was pulled out from under the car he continued to fight until he was forced to his knees in front of Walt.
Jesse didn't beg him. The look he shot at the older man echoed the disbelief that Walt himself had felt about Hank's death just moments before. Walter could sense what his former partner was thinking. He couldn't believe it was the end, couldn't fathom how his teacher had won yet again. Jesse probably regretted putting his faith in Hank. Was probably looking back on his decisions over the past year and trying to pinpoint the exact moment he had so thoroughly ruined his life.
Jesse's crystal clear blue eyes blinked rapidly up at Walt, his mouth turning down into a stubborn frown. At one time that small display of defiance would have enraged Walter, would have set him off. Jesse's refusal to ever listen to him, to understand, to obey, repeatedly caused a reaction in Walt that reminded him of the chemistry he loved so much. Jesse was like hydrogen sulfide and he was nitric acid. Like chromic acid and acetic acid. Explosive, fiery, destructive. But beautiful in their reaction, a chemical combination that was just meant to be despite the vicious properties.
Now though, Walt stared back at the blue eyes and felt nothing but his anger over Hank's death. It appeared that Jesse no longer affected him the way he once did. All he wanted now was for Jesse to feel the impact of a bullet ripping through his skull. Like Hank had felt.
"Good to go?" Jack asked, casually aiming his gun at the back of Jesse's head.
Just as he nodded imperceptivity, was braced for Jesse to drop lifeless to the dirt, Todd stepped in. His dull eyes, like an animal that didn't truly comprehend what was going on around them, were fixed on Jesse. There was a possessive air around him, and the way he licked his chapped lips was definitely not only to moisten his lips. There was desire on Todd's face, and Walter wasn't sure if it was a desire to keep Jesse alive long enough to pay him back for previous humiliation or for something… more. A burning jealousy filled Walt's belly and his protective instincts for his partner roared back to life despite himself.
Ex-partner.
Just as quickly as his volatile feelings for Jesse sprouted back to life, so quickly did they wither again at the thought. Jack asked him if he agreed to Todd's plan, and Walt nodded, sealing Jesse's fate with the gang.
The men started to drag Jesse away, and he began to fight again, kicking against his captors. "No!" he screamed, his voice as hoarse as Walt's.
"Wait," Walter ordered, approaching the struggling Jesse.
His former partner didn't dare to hope. Wasn't stupid enough for that. Probably thought Walt intended to return the spit to the face from earlier in the day.
"I watched Jane die. I was there. And I watched her die. I watched her overdose and choke to death. I could have saved her. But I didn't."
It was obvious Jesse hadn't been ready for Walt's cruelty, for the harsh truth he delivered him. He sagged at Walt's words, forcing the men that were restraining him to keep him upright. It wasn't with disbelief that Jesse lost the strength in his legs. Walt knew it was due to the utter betrayal. Walt felt a sick satisfaction at the destruction of Jesse's spirit. He patted himself on the back for the words that had cut so deep to Jesse's emotional jugular. Now the kid knew what pain truly was. Jane and Hank, a life for a life.
And then, as Jesse was being dragged away, Walt felt a creeping dissatisfaction begin to take root. Jesse looked so broken, had given in completely. His beautiful eyes were downcast, turned away from everyone. He no longer struggled against the men that roughly handled him, and his body lay limp between them. The submission Walt had desired from Jesse had finally happened, but Walt felt… decimated by it.
He was monumentally frustrated by his thoughts. That was not the emotion he had thought he would feel. Just seconds ago he had yearned for Jesse's death, had come to terms with the end of Jesse Pinkman. He had wanted it. Desired it. He had craved Jesse dead more than he had anticipated Gus's life to end in that moment. And now… Now it pained him to see Jesse looking so shattered. This wasn't the young man he had grown to care so deeply for.
Staring after Jesse, Walter's fists clenched. It took mere moments for him to process the situation, but he was suddenly aware that despite his anger with Jesse confessing to Hank, betraying him, and despite his belief that moments before he had wanted the younger man dead… he still cared about his partner. He realized that if Jack had begun to pull on the trigger moments ago he would have stopped him even then, would have made a fool of himself in front of the vicious gang. He could not let Jesse die, even in the grips of his fury. He was certain that this wasn't the finale. He and Jesse weren't meant to conclude like this. Whatever finish marked the end of their ride was not to be this day.
Desperation gripped him when he realized the car door was opening and the men were about to throw Jesse inside. Striding forward quickly, Walt shouted out, "Hold it!" He used his Heisenberg voice, demanding respect and attention. No room for argument.
The muscled men stopped their actions just as they were pushing their prisoner through the door of the car. They looked towards Jack, seeking direction. Todd and Jack turned towards Walter. The gang leader's hand inched towards the gun that was strapped to his hip as the chemistry teacher approached.
"I've changed my mind. Pinkman is mine."
Jack's eyes widened and his eyebrows arched at that. Todd scowled at Walter, obviously unhappy with the development. Yes, it was apparent now. Walter recognized the animal lust in Todd's gaze when he looked quickly at Jesse and then back at Walt. And he saw when Todd realized that Walter too wanted to possess Jesse, wanted to own the scrawny man. They narrowed their eyes at one another, the competitive drive in both of them snarling internally at each other.
"Uncle Jack, I think it's best if we take care of Jesse. We need to question him."
Walter's lip curled in a snarl, Heisenberg begging for Todd's blood. He glanced at Jack, seeing that his hand hadn't moved closer to the gun. A good sign.
"You owe me. Hank is dead. Pinkman is mine," Walter repeated, staring at Jack and ignoring his nephew. "A life for a life," he uttered, using a thought that he had just had when thinking about Hank and Jane.
Jack spared a look at Jesse, who was still not struggling. The kid didn't even seem to be paying attention to the exchange. "Todd has a point, Walter. That little fuck squealed to the DEA. Can't let that go unpunished." Jack shifted and leaned against the car, relaxed in his posture despite the tense situation. "Besides, do you really have it in you to kill the slimy rat?"
"You forget who killed Gus Fring." Walt wasn't sure if that meant much to the group, but Gustavo was sure to be known to the gang. Besides, the murder had been on the news for some time now. "Hank would have left all evidence at his home. I'll text you the address…for Jesse."
Lighting a cigarette and taking a puff, Jack continued to stare at Walter without saying anything. Todd was beginning to grow visibly panicked when his uncle didn't immediately argue with Walt. He began to shift nervously, edging closer to the car Jesse was going to be put in.
A low growl threatened to rumble from Walt's throat. He felt like a territorial dog defending its bone from would-be thieves. Sweat from the heat, and his own nervous anxiety over the situation, caused Walt to wipe his brow. When his hand uncovered his eyes from the wipe, he saw that Todd was still edging towards Jesse. What he aimed to do if he reached the prisoner, Walt didn't know. But he did not like it.
"Jack," Walter snarled, though he kept his glare on Todd.
"Fine," Jack finally answered, relenting. He threw up his hands in a placating gesture, the burning cigarette dangling between his lips.
"Uncle Jack!" Todd complained, his voice almost a groan.
"Toddy, stop. We'll find you another rat to play with."
Todd said no more, but Walter could tell he was fuming. No longer did the younger man remember the respect he had for Mr. White. Instead, there was now simmering hate. Walt had swooped in and latched onto Todd's prey right from under his nose. And not only did Todd's pride sting, but he had lost the precious prisoner he had so carefully pleaded for.
Jack snapped his fingers and Jesse was roughly pulled back toward Walt's car. He still didn't struggle, kept his eyes downcast as he was pulled past his partner. Walt nodded once at Jack before turning to follow Jesse and the men that were pulling him along.
He realized that Jack would change his mind if he figured that Walter had no real intention of killing Jesse. They would kill the younger man themselves if they thought it wasn't in him. Knowing he had to continue the cruel Heisenberg charade in order to save Jesse's life, he clicked the button on his key ring that would pop open the back end of his car. "Put him in the trunk," he ordered.
"Make sure to tie up the squealer," Jack hollered, laughing at himself and causing the other members of the gang to chuckle. One of the men produced zip ties and bound Jesse's wrists and ankles together before viciously shoving him into the trunk. Jesse hissed as he tumbled inside, but made no other noise as the lid was slammed shut.
Turning back to Jack one last time, Walter raised his hand and gave a half wave to the gang leader. Jack returned the gesture with a lazy salute before calling to his boys to get in the cars. Todd was the last to obey the command, staring hard at Walter from afar. But he too responded eventually, jumping into the truck before he could be reprimanded for any lollygagging. They moved quickly, and soon Jack and his gang were disappearing into the desert.
End Notes:
So I looked on Google for chemicals that when mixed together cause an explosion, and after looking at like ten webpages I realized that these searches may look suspicious. Ha.
Anyway, hope the chemicals I used in that "Jesse and Walter as chemicals" section were okay. They were the best I could find!
As always, hope everyone is realistic and all that, and hope this is entertaining! Thanks for any advice or comments!
