I do not own House, or anyone/thing related to House, I also do not own any of the songs I used in this story, the people who wrote them do, I just love them. I hope you enjoy!
The Power of Music
Cuddy stepped out of the elevator towards House's office. Her heels gave a satisfying "click" with each step. She could hear music playing and it just fueled her anger even further. As she got closer she realized she had heard the song before but couldn't place it, and right now she really didn't care. It had been one hell of a week and all she wanted to do was rip House a new one for his latest fiasco in the clinic and then go home to Rachel.
She opened the door and was hit with Alice Cooper's voice echoing through House's office
Your cruel device
Your blood, like ice
"House what the hell!" she tried yelling over the music.
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
He ignored her presence, and continued to sit back in his chair with his eyes closed mouthing the words he knew so well.
I want to love you but I better not touch (Don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains
Cuddy stood there, watching him, her blood was really starting to boil at this point. He really knew how to get to her, that was for sure. And yet, and yet, her mind started to wander as she listened to the words a little.
Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I'm caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat
That was it "House!" he finally opened his eyes looking at her with an annoyed glare. "House this is NOT what I pay you for!"
I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
House grinned slightly, "oh how true Alice, oh how true" he thought.
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in)
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
"What the hell is so dam funny? I'm pissed, you go and pull a stunt like you did and then you just sit there listening to music like an angry teenager!" House didn't bother answering he just put his head back and closed his eyes again continuing to listen.
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains…
And then nothing… Cuddy had pulled his i-pod out of its perch in House's portable speaker system. That got his attention. "Mooom, what was that for?" he wined.
"So you can get off your ass and get some work done! I'm sick of this House!"
"Wow, someone needs to get laid"
"That has nothing to do with this!"
"Oh! So I guess it's true then, Lucas did leave you didn't he?" he said as he stood up walking towards her with the shadow of an evil grin on his face. He was almost enjoying this.
She blinked and turned away from him, "That, is none of your business House, just… get to work" she said quietly as she walked out.
She had been hopping if she had yelled at him; if she had just gotten some of that anger out of her system she would feel better. She was wrong. Cuddy walked back to her office and realized she still had House's i-pod in her hand. She shrugged her shoulders and threw it in her bag and started to pack up her things to go home.
Cuddy got home and relieved the baby-sitter. Lucas hadn't been around for almost a week. He said he couldn't handle being in love with someone who clearly could never truly love him. Rachel was already in bed so Cuddy changed her closes, checked on Rachel and then went back down stairs to pour her-self a glass of wine.
Cuddy sat on her couch and began flipping through the channels. There was nothing on. She turned off the TV and tossed the remote on the coffee table knocking over her purse. Cuddy huffed and got up to clean up the mess. She picked up House's i-pod and sat back down as she started looking through his music collection. She found "The Who" and decided to listen; she didn't have anything else better to do. As she listened she continued to look through his selection, he really was an eclectic at heart, she chuckled to herself.
Then she decided to take a look at what kind of playlists he had made up for himself. She scrolled down not really paying attention to what she was reading she saw… car, cooking, Cuddy, DDX, Motorcycle, PT/Gym, Relax… wait what the hell? She scrolled back up, sure enough there it was, she hadn't imagined it, "Cuddy" he had a play list for her?
Curiosity got the best of her she hit play and she was suddenly listening to Alice Cooper for the second time that day singing "Poison". She sat there just listening until the song finished, did he really think of her like that? Poison running through his veins?
The thought didn't last long because the next song that came on was "Fat bottomed girls" by Queen. She rolled her eyes but smiled and hit "next". "Caught a Touch of Your Love" By, Grover Washington Jr. and BB King, again she couldn't help put feel a pang of guilt run through her body.
She lay back on her couch listening to the songs on "her play list" they played randomly; which didn't mater really because the songs were so random anyway. It was like he had just gone through picking our every song that ever made him think of her.
There was "Free Fallin'", "I wont Back Down" and "Depending On You" by Tom Petty, "Love In An Elevator" by: Aerosmith, "It Gets Me Through" by Ozzy Osbourne "To Know You Is To Love You" By: BB King, "Bad Medicine", and "I'd Die For You" by Bon Jovi, then it jumped to "I've got my Mojo Working" by: Muddy Waters, and "These Eyes" by the Guess Who just to name a few of the over one-hundred and twenty songs he had put on there.
More than once she had let tears fall as she listened to some and skipped others completely after only a few notes. But by the time she got to Ozzy Osbourne's "I Just Want You" she lost it completely. Her defenses had been knocked down and laid in a mess of rubble around her. She cried, cried like she hadn't cried when Lucas had left her.
Why couldn't he just tell her? Had she really put him through all that? Is that how he really felt about her? The jumble of songs, the huge array of emotions connected to them, everything from pure desire to pure hate and even the purest of love, had been conveyed through those songs. Her heart ached sending a sharp pain through her whole body and she cried harder.
Suddenly there was a nock at the door. Cuddy wiped her eyes hastily and went over to answer it.
House stood there looking at Cuddy. What he had expected was for her to be pissed off that he had suddenly decided to drop by at a quarter to twelve. What he found was a shock.
She was standing there in a pair of yoga pants and a big sweater, much like she had been after she lost Joy and she had been crying. No scratch that, she was crying. When she answered the door a new wave of tears had come over her that she just couldn't hold back and she hid her face behind her hands momentarily, she didn't want him to see her like this, not in a million years. She finally composed herself and wiped her eyes using her long sleeves. "What do you want House?" she said thickly.
House froze, Cuddy walked away from the door leaving it open but not inviting him in ether. He slowly pushed to door open further. Cuddy had sat back down on the couch she had the i-pod in her hand and she was staring at her empty wine glass. "Lisa?"
Cuddy jumped a little, his voice was uncharacteristically soft, he had almost whispered her name, her first name. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "May I?" he asked gesturing toward the couch cushion next to her. Cuddy slowly nodded and he sat down placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him, not daring to look at her, especially after what happened the last time he had found her like this. But last time he had expected to find her in some sort of distressed state, this was out of the blue. "Lucas?" He questioned.
Cuddy let out a big puff of air that almost had a laugh on the end of it, not Lucas then he thought. "Rachel?"
"No, she's wonderful"
"What happened Lisa?"
"You"
"What? What the hell did I do? I've been good all week, well except for that thing today…"
"No, it's not anything you did… not really… More like what I did."
House was still baffled but he was starting to make a hypothesis as he eyed the i-pod in her hand as she clutched on to it. "Lisa…"
She turned to him with tears in her eyes, "I mean is this really how I make you feel? All of this?" she shook the i-pod at him.
He looked her strait in the eye, "Don't want me to answer that"
"The hell I don't House, now tell me!"
"You really want the truth?"
"Dam it House! Yes I want the DAM TRUTH!" she yelled.
He stared at her, she was finally feeling what he had felt for so long now, and he hated seeing it on her. House cupped his face in his hands. "Answer me you dam bastard! Is this what I've been putting you through, do you actually have REAL feelings for me, not just lust and playful banter"
House looked at her again it was his turn to be pissed, "What do you mean "real?" Of course their REAL! Why the hell do you think I've been trying so hard? To get you! To prove to you that maybe just maybe I can be worth something to you other than being "your hospital's greatest asset" how dare you even ask me, if you weren't avoiding me like the plague then maybe you would be able to see that." He finished calmly, and put his hands back over his eyes. He was close to the emotional edge himself now but he wasn't about to show it if it could be helped.
"So it's true, all of it?"
His mind quickly whizzed through the songs on the play list "Yes, every last one" he sat up and leaned back against the couch, completely drained. He didn't come for this, all he wanted was his i-pod, he never though she would get a hold of it, that was his job to snoop.
Cuddy studied him, the look of worry, regret, pain, longing and loss, all mixed with something else, relief maybe. It was true; he did have real feelings for her, not just superficial, which was what she had been so afraid of.
Cuddy shifted her weight on the couch; House didn't even bother opening his eyes. That is until he felt the weight of her slight form straddle his lap as she placed her knees on the couch on either side of him. He looked at her for a second before she lent in for a kiss. It was deep and passionate and he never wanted it to end, but suddenly he needed it to, he griped her shoulders and pushed her away. "Cuddy, I don't think this is a good idea, not after last time"
"Last time when you only thought I was there or last time when I was emotionally vulnerable?"
"Either"
"Greg…"
He took her mouth in his, and broke it again. "Lisa I don't know if I can…"
"Greg, look at me. I just spent the last two hours in your head, I know how you feel. I want to make things right, I want to be there for you, I want "us" that is if you still do…"
"I've never wanted it, I've needed it… I just couldn't get what I needed"
"Can you want it, if I give you what you need?"
"You're the one that said there was no "US" and never would be"
"Everybody lies"
"So how do I know your telling the truth now?"
"Do you want to know why Lucas left?"
"Does it mater?"
"Yes it does. He left because he said I was so engrossed in you, that I could never let myself love him, and you know what, Greg, he was right… because I love you"
House studied her like she was one of his critical patients, "Does that mean you want there to be an "Us"?"
"Yes, Greg I do"
"Then yes…" he said it very quietly, then even quieter, so that she might have missed it if they hadn't been so close he whispered, barely moving his lips "I love you"
Cuddy smiled and kissed him "I Love you too" she kissed him again deepening the kiss until they couldn't take it any longer and ended up making love right there on Cuddy's couch.
When all was said and done, Cuddy laid comfortably on top of House with her head on his shoulder caressing his chest as he ran his hand up and down her body. Cuddy reached up to the back of the couch where she kept a throw blanket and she situated it on them as best as she could before resuming her spot on House's chest. "I'm sorry"
"For what? The sex was great!"
"For tonight, for, all those years, every thing I've put you through. I was so blind."
"No, you were scared, and you had every reason to be, hell I wouldn't have dated me especially not with a kid. But, I'm… well, not… I don't know what I am but I'm not the same but I haven't changed either"
"Yes you have, sure you're the same ornery bastard, everybody's favorite asshole but you're also showing that you can function with out opiates, and you haven't blown anything up in months, that takes self-control and some measure of responsibility. I say it's a good sign. Now how do you feel about kids?"
"You wouldn't believe me"
"Try me Greg"
"I actually like kids, you can always tell when they are lying to you, and their just fun, you can't really call them morons because there not necessarily stupid they're just ignorant."
"So you like kids because they are ignorant"
"Just leave it at "I like kids" ok? I'm fine with Rachel"
"Good"
They laid there for a little longer as House started to dose off. "Greg?"
"Yeah"
"Why did you come over anyway?"
"Isn't that obvious? To get my i-pod, some one stole it."
