Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, I wish I did 'cause If I then I would be a VERY happy bunny :) The words in italics are lyrics from Greenday – Give Me Novocaine. Sadly I didn't write them.

Dedication and Thanks: This story is for Josefin, Alice, Elissa and Tani! 3 I love you guys :) Oh and HUGE thanks go to Andy, you're great too!


As the first tinges of dusk streaked across the Chicago skyline, it started. It was inevitable. Every night was the same; there was no escape, no way out, no remedy. Luka hated closing his eyes at night; that was when the real darkness made itself known. Not the physical darkness, but the mental darkness. It was unavoidable, inescapable, incurable. It seeped into his body as if entering through his very skin, smothering him silently in his dreams, stifling his cries for help.

It didn't make sense. He should have been comfortable in the dark, he'd had enough experience. Since that day in Croatia, darkness had incarcerated his life. Sure there had been short sparks of light, short, meaningless flames. They illumed the void of darkness in Luka's life for a moment, but eventually began to flicker, and gradually faded away taking the light with them, leaving a trail of self-destruction in their wake. There had been one exception. Abby. She hadn't been meaningless, and she hadn't faded away, no. Rather Luka had extinguished her in a moment of madness, in a moment that he would regret forever.

The 'darkness' was no darkness as such; it was more a concoction of Luka's innermost fears, feelings and memories. Memories. They were the worst aspects of the darkness. In the day he could push it aside, mask it behind a smile, cover it up. But at night there were no hiding places, there was no where to hide. Once his eyes shut there was no going back, no protection. Images, horrific terrible images emerged, encased behind his closed lids. They danced contemptuously across his mind, terrorising his subconscious, and haunting his dreams.

Take away the sensation inside,
Bitter sweet migraine in my head.

It's like a throbbing tooth-ache of the mind,
I can't take this feeling anymore.

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensation's overwhelming.

He couldn't stand it any longer. He just couldn't, he wasn't strong enough.

Luka sank onto the bed, drained of energy, hope, happiness; drained. His finger traced a pattern across the dial on the telephone as it lay on the table beside him. It was a pattern he thought of each and every time he called someone, but one which he had not built up the courage to dial for a very long time. Without noticing, Luka had unintentionally keyed in the number and a call had been made. Only it wasn't unintentional at all. Luka had meant to make the phone call, he just didn't know that he could, he didn't know that he was brave enough. A voice was heard in the receiver.

"Hello?"