I do not own Naruto.
Inspired by Bonnie Raitt's song, I Can't Make You Love Me.
Hinata Hyuuga was not one who easily voiced out her feelings, or even more so, complaints. In fact, when Naruto decided for them to be just friends and pursue his feelings for Sakura instead, the shy Hyuuga, despite the painful and broken feeling in her chest, ungrudgingly put her feelings aside and resolved to be that happy and supportive friend for him, just like she always used to be.
Maybe in time she would be able to forget that she loved him and the painful feeling of not being loved in return.
But seeing him almost every day made it impossible for the black-haired maiden. Who would've thought that Naruto would be interested in becoming a jounin sensei in the ninja academy? After the war, he had been offered numerous high-ranking positions within and beyond the boundaries of Konohagakure but only turned them down to start working alongside Hinata, Chouji, Lee, and Tenten as squad leaders. The positions were pretty much tempting, but Naruto chose the road taken by his father and great senseis. How would he be able to lead a whole nation if he didn't know how to manage a group of three genins?
At first, Hinata tried to block out her feelings so as to maintain only a professional relationship with Naruto, but the obvious blush tainting her cheeks when she accidentally bumped into him in the corridors, or the way she stammered when they were having a conversation, proved her that she wasn't doing a good job about it. How could she deliberately forget how she admired his bright personality, his kindness, and his strength? Or the way her heart skipped a beat when he showed off that warm heartfelt smile? She had loved him for years, and no amount of willpower could make her forget. So she was back to her twelve-year old self, observing the man she loved from afar, somewhere she could keep her emotions in check. She didn't want Naruto ending up confused and bothered with all her pent-up feelings. She decided to give up, and there was no turning back.
One afternoon, the meeting of all the Jounin senseis about the next chuunin exam had taken quite longer than expected, so Hinata decided to work a few extra hours to finish some documents for the Hokage. She might have been too focused that she didn't notice a pair of blue eyes in front of her. She literally squealed when Naruto blew a few strands of her hair with his breath.
"N-Naruto-kun!" Her face instantly turned beet red.
"Hey! Sorry about that. It's just, you look like Neji when you're so serious. It's scary." Naruto grinned and scratched his nose, thinking his action might have been too bold for the Hyuuga.
Hinata chuckled at his remark. "Well.. we do have a few papers to submit to Tsunade-sama tomorrow, so.. I'm working double time before I leave for a mission."
"Oh, alright." Naruto smiled only to disappear five seconds after as a sudden realization hit him. He had totally forgotten about the reports. "Oh! The reports! Oh my gosh! I've totally forgotten about them! And I have to pick up Sakura-chan at the hospital later!"
It was then that Hinata's smile slowly faded. She just noticed that Naruto was holding about a dozen red roses with his left hand. Hinata felt something pinch her heart. Have they started dating? She thought.
"W-well, I'm almost done with my report. I can help you with yours if you want." It almost sounded more like a question, like she wasn't sure herself if she wanted to help him finish on time. But whatever pain she felt, it was quickly brushed away, because she wanted to do something for Naruto.
Naruto hesitated for a moment. He wasn't oblivious to the fact that the Hyuuga had, or might still have, feelings for him, despite her futile attempts to conceal it. He was able to catch a glimpse of that momentary sadness in her eyes when he mentioned Sakura's name. "Are you sure? You really don't have to."
"No, it's really fine! I still have a few hours to kill. I'm supposed to meet my team at midnight." She waved her hands in front of her to ease Naruto of the favor he was about to ask. She honestly wanted to help him, for that also meant stealing a few minutes of Naruto for herself. She was sure enough that months and months of maintaining that "purely professional relationship" with Naruto gave her ample time to "rehabilitate". There's no way that she would mess up by kissing him or telling him again she loved him.
Naruto smiled at Hinata's kindness. He didn't want to look like he was taking advantage of her, because he was not. It was just hard to turn down a person who genuinely offered help. He also appreciated the fact that Hinata wasn't as aggressive as the other girls were. It would be really hard to continue being friends with someone who overwhelmed you with their so-called "love" and "feelings". Her silent admiration flattered Kurama's jinchuriiki.
"Thank you, Hinata-chan." Naruto sat on a chair on Hinata's left and started working on his own pile of documents.
They worked silently the first few minutes, with only Naruto occasionally asking Hinata how to do this and that with the report. Naruto thought that Hinata was like a different person when on a sensei-mode. She was definitely the strict and serious sensei he was hearing the ninja students talked about, but her kind smile and sweet voice reminded him that she was still the Hinata he had known and grown up with. There were instances that Naruto's elbow would touch Hinata's, or that he leaned so close that it brought a darker shade of red to Hinata's blush. Yes, she was still the same Hinata Hyuuga.
"Hey, Hinata-chan, are you alright? You look a bit flushed. Anyway, thanks again for helping me. It's been a while since we get to talk like this." Naruto said, choosing his words carefully. "Well, we haven't really been able to talk to each other, since, well.." Naruto scratched his head, getting a tad uncomfortable with the conversation he started. And Hinata's surprised look, with her lips slightly parted, wasn't helping very much.
"W-well, what I'm trying to say is.." It was Naruto's turn to stutter, and beads of sweat started to appear on his forehead. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.
Then suddenly, and unexpectedly, Hinata giggled.
"Not a problem, Naruto-kun. Glad I was able to help you. A-and you had Table 4 completely all wrong."
"Oh man!" Naruto slumped over his desk completely defeated, which made Hinata laugh a little bit louder.
"It's okay, Naruto-kun. You can just start all over again."
"You're evil, Hinata-chan." Naruto sulked. Watching Hinata continued her shy laughter made Naruto smile and his heart light. He propped on his elbow and continued watching her wipe the forming tears in her eyes from laughing too much. "Well, what I was saying was I wish we could do this more often."
"W-what, the reports?" Hinata said.
"Yes- hell no! I'm not talking about these stupid reports. I mean, you, me, talking normally like this. I just wish you could be less shy around me. You're a really great person. You're nice, kind, and sweet. It would be nice if we could know more of each other."
"W-why would you like to know more about me?" She asked, not sure if she would really like to know the answer.
"That's 'cause we're friends! Uh, well, we're still friends, right? Right, Hinata-chan?" He was worried that he might be sounding like an insensitive jerk. It wasn't that long ago when he rejected her, and remembering how her face had become undeniably sullen always made him feel guilty. He felt indebted to her, for always being there at the right moment, yet, that didn't make him feel more about her. But it didn't mean that he wouldn't like to know her more. He called her weird before, and weird seemed interesting.
Hinata felt her heart sunk once again. "Yes. Friends.." She faked the happiest smile she could plaster on her face that even Naruto didn't think otherwise. "We've gone on a couple of missions together before."
"Yeah, that's right, but we didn't talk much. Well, you don't talk much, especially with everyone around. It would be nice to have conversations like this sometimes." Naruto felt relieved. He decided to lighten up the mood by changing the topic to the three genins he was currently handling. He told her how one of his students from the Inuzuka clan looked and sounded exactly like Kiba that the kid could be mistaken as Kiba's son, and that how great his team had been on the last escort mission they had at the Sand Country. He also told her how he was preparing them for the chuunin exam and how all three of his students passed out from exhaustion, and that he was expecting angry sets of parents to march in to the office by next week. All these could have been funny, especially with how comical Naruto was when telling them... If only Hinata was listening.
She did, for a few seconds, but as her white eyes became glued onto his blue ones, she could hear no more. 'Friends'. How could she remain just friends with someone she loved with all her heart? She had heard him say it before-the only thing they could ever be, just friends- and she accepted it. But she didn't know that hearing it once again would bring back such incredible pain she had felt before, or maybe had feeling the whole time. How could she forget those kind eyes, those smile? Not, when all her being was screaming love and desire for the person right in front of her. Like an addict being exposed to its drugs once again, she felt a sense of longing, and all her feelings for Naruto washed over her like a tsunami. Why was it so unfair, she thought. She could give him all the love he needed. With her, he didn't have to wait nor bring flowers. She knew her emotional dam was broken when she felt a teardrop rolled down her left cheek. She glanced over to the door and planned her exit.
Naruto continued on to his stories, oblivious to Hinata's emotional turmoil. He was going on about Chouji defeating him on a game of Go and stopped in mid-sentence when Hinata slowly stood up from her chair.
And bent down to kiss him.
It was a long passionate kiss, that even after their lips parted, Naruto forgot for a moment how to open his eyes. Hearing Hinata's pained sobbing woke him up from his dreamlike state.
"H-hinata-chan..." He still blinked repeatedly to make sure he's awake. He somehow knew how much she felt for him, but a kiss from Hinata wasn't something he's ready for.
She sat back down on her chair, her head low to hide her face. "I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun. Guess I'm so madly in love with you, I can't just settle with us being just friends." Hinata said with a soft voice, trying hard to say the words clearly in between uncontrollable tears. "I tried to forget my feelings, Naruto-kun, but everytime I see you, hear your voice, I know I can't do it. I'm sorry."
Naruto remained silent. His expression equally pained as Hinata's. Perhaps he could never understand how she came to love him this much, and how stupid he was for not being able to love her back. Why the hell can't he love her? All this time, he was hurting Hinata.
Naruto did what he thought could ease Hinata's pain even just a little. He gently lifted her chin with his finger, so sad teary eyes were looking directly at him. He brushed away several strands that covered her beautiful face, then leaned over and pressed his lip against hers.
Hinata welcomed the kiss without any hint of shock nor surprise. She returned his kiss even more passionately than their first one, both her hands cupping Naruto's cheeks. In between the tender kisses, Hinata whispered. "I love you, Naruto-kun."
He didn't answer back, instead, he softly placed his hand on her arm and guided her to sit on his lap. They continued kissing, even as Naruto gently pulled her jacket off her shoulder.
He didn't see her, but smelled her, rather, at the far end of the bar counter. He wasn't supposed to be there. He only went out to pick a package for Hana, but he overheard two men walking past him, talking about how unlikely it was to see the Hyuuga maiden in the bar and their dirty plan to pick her up later when she's too drunk to walk herself home. He "accidentally" knocked those guys unconscious.
So, he went there to see it himself, or smell, rather. He was sure that she was already with someone else, because when he smelled her, she didn't smell alone1. But when he entered the bar deeper and saw her slumped over the counter, with her forehead resting on the cold marble table, and that she was completely alone, he had a gut feeling that something awful had happened, and he sure prayed that he was wrong. He sat on the empty stool beside her, and covered her with his jacket. She remained still, while the dog-user silently watched her fingers play with her half-emptied bottle of sake. He raised his hand to signal Akamaru to go get Ko-san.
"You reek of Naruto." He started as he gulped down his bottle of soda. No alcohol for him tonight. Not if he had to walk a wasted Hyuuga home.
He watched her from the corner of his eyes, waiting for her response. He was expecting her face to flush and shout 'Kiba-kun!' or simply hit him blindly with her Gentle Fist. For now, any reaction would do, but he didn't get any. His eyes widen at his realization.
The people inside the bar turned their heads upon hearing the sound of a bottle crashing on marble. Her continued silence just proved his intuition right. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to.
"What the hell did you do, HInata?" He rubbed his face in frustration.
This time, she slowly turned her head to face him. Her face calm, yet flushed with alcohol. "Kiba-kun…"
Despite the anger swelling up inside him, Kiba's eyes softened as he looked down at her disheveled face. Traces of dry tears trailed down her cheeks, and her heavy lids just showed how hard she must have cried for the past hours.
"I wonder what Neji-niisan would tell me, if he were to see me like this." She continued on, her voice soft.
"He probably won't say anything. He'll just run berserk and kill every blonde-haired guy he sees."
She let out a chuckle, then, there was a pause, until she spoke again. "I'm sorry, Kiba-kun."
Kiba focused on his drink, unable to face her. He just couldn't stand seeing her so broken. She was one of his best friends, and he cared for her more like a sister. Anyone who dared her hurt would face the wrath of the Inuzuka. But this person wasn't just anyone. The person involved was also one of his friends, and Hinata's true love. He knew Hinata wouldn't forgive him if he did something extreme.
"Why can't Naruto love me?"
The question caught him off-guard. It was direct, straight-to-the-point, something that the Hinata he knew wouldn't be able to utter even when drunk. He gritted his teeth to refrain from saying anything further. Tonight, he would just listen. But Hinata didn't say anything more. They just sat there quietly until Akamaru arrived with Ko behind him.
1 In reference to the song Plush by Stone Templed Pilots
