Love Through Pain
Pairings: Hibari x Haruka, Yagyuu x Mirai
Genre: Romance & Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: I do not own Senran Kagura or any of its characters.
Author's Note: Hello, everyone! My name is Yuri and oh, my goodness! My first Senran Kagura fan fiction! Hooray! (jumps in the air with fist pumped). To be honest, I wasn't really aware that this was dubbed in English until now and a very good friend of mine, Major Mike Powell III, recommended it to me. So, now I'm writing a sequel to his story from about a year ago, "Change of Heart", where we get to see how Yagyuu is doing after Hibari's confession to Haruka. So, I hope you all enjoy. (giggles)
Her heart beats fast in distress. Her hand clenches and loosens.
Yagyuu is distraught.
The girl she wanted to protect. The girl that resembles her little sister. The girl she adores…the image of Hibari's distraught, tear-stained face is still fresh in her mind…her friends and Hanzo Academy shinobi are urging her to speak, tell them how she feels, if she is alright…
A smoke bomb later, Yagyuu is moving as fast as her body toned after years of ninja training can take her, following Hibari's scent.
The dormitory is simple, a far cry from the fortress that Hebijo Academy used to be before it went down in flames, but still, Yagyuu pays this no heed. She leaps onto a tree, whose leafy branch overlooks the mad scientist/puppeteer shinobi's room, the room where Hibari…just confessed her love to Haruka.
"…" Yagyuu's stoic face betrays no emotion. Yet rebellious tears slip from her eye…as well as under her eyepatch. The weight of defeat and heartbreak makes Yagyuu's shoulders tremble.
Hibari was in love with Haruka. That was why the pinkette looked in so much distress when she tried to confess to Yagyuu earlier. Hibari was trying to confess…to a woman she no longer loved. A change of heart, that is what Haruka had just said to Hibari.
Yagyuu knows she has to leave when she hears Hibari's voice…
"Oh, no! I left Yagyuu-chan back at Hanzo Academy and the others, too!"
As quick as a flash, as a ninja should be, Yagyuu vanishes without a trace before Hibari even steps out the door of Haruka's room.
Meanwhile, the new lovers exit the dorms, when Hibari gets distracted by a tiny glimpse of silver tresses and the glimmer of tears…suddenly trips on an uneven surface, causing her to fall…only to end up in her beloved's embrace.
"My, my~! Please be careful, cutie," Haruka purrs. "I can't have your adorable face get ruined from the dirty pavement, you little klutz~"
"Ahaha! S-Sorry, Haruka-san!" Hibari laughs nervously. The honey-blonde smiles tenderly at her and gently takes Hibari's hand in her own.
"Now then, let's continue, shall we?"
"Right!"
The lovely couple eventually arrive at Hibari's home, Hanzo Academy. Standing outside the gates of her own dormitory, Hibari feels nervous about revealing her new relationship to the other girls. However, Haruka puts her hands on the pink-haired girl's shoulders. The kiss to the back of Hibari's neck assures her that the older woman will be right there by her side. Hibari gives her new lover a nod and slides the door open.
"Hey, girls! I'm back!" she says happily.
"Oh, Hibari-chan!" Asuka is the first to step into the entrance hall, followed by Ikaruga and Katsuragi. "We were so worried about you!"
"Oh, there's no need," Haruka says as she steps beside Hibari, smiling. "She's doing just fine~" She puts her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "So…do you want to do the honors, sweetie?"
"Ah, okay!" Gathering all her courage, she cups Haruka's hand on her shoulder with both of her own and then, faces her friends. "Haruka-san and I…you see…we are together now. We're in love!"
There is but just a tiny moment of silence, before Asuka takes the lead, gently patting Hibari's soft head of pink hair. The granddaughter of the legendary Hanzo smiles and her eyes sooth Hibari's worries.
"That's amazing, Hibari-chan!" She approves. The energetic Katsuragi gives Hibari a toothy grin and a thumbs up, leaning in to give the pinkette's girlfriend a very appreciative look.
"Way to go, girl! I knew you'd the first to hook up~!" The grope-happy blonde giggles. "And hey, what a buxom lover you bagged, eh~?" As expected, that last bit gets a cute little blush from Hibari and an intentionally-haughty laugh from Haruka. The honey-blonde had never been shy nor troubled by her really generous curves.
"Well, I guess I can't argue with that. After all, Haruka-san and company are not our enemies anymore." Ikaruga adds, crossing her arms while giving an encouraging smile.
The mood changes awkwardly, however, when Hibari turns to see Yagyuu standing at the door to the dining room, looking at the women gathered in the entrance hall…yet not so much looking at them as simply facing that direction. Hibari gives her friends a concerned look, yet she gathers her courage. She has to do this. Hibari approaches the silver-haired shinobi, her oldest friends, her long-time protector.
"U-Um, Yagyuu-chan, hey," Hibari begins, nervously fiddling with her thumbs. "Are you feeling okay? You…um…you didn't say a word just now..."
All Yagyuu can do is stare at Hibari, not showing any sign of anger nor frustration. "I'm fine." She pushes herself off of the door frame and heads for the door; her fellow Hanzo Academy shinobi move aside to make a path for Yagyuu. "Excuse me. I need to go out…I need some air."
"O-Okay…" Hibari struggles with her desire to rush out after her best friend…but Haruka's hand taking hers and giving it a gentle squeeze tells her to stay where she is.
The silver-haired girl slides the door open and walks outside. Asuka and the others just stare at the door. Concern is evident on their faces.
"I've never see Yagyuu-chan act like that before," Asuka breaks the uncomfortable silence. "I hope she's Ok…"
"Is there something wrong?" Ikaruga asks, turning to face Hibari and Haruka. The older woman sighs softly and closes her eyes, releasing Hibari's hand to cross her arms under her generous chest.
"Well…in a way, yes." She begins.
"What is it?" Asuka asks.
"Yagyuu-san heard us talking, Hibari and I, back at our dorm." Haruka explains, her girlfriend gasping and turning to look at her in shock. "Sorry, darling. You see, Yagyuu-san thought she was hiding her presence…but she wasn't even close. I felt her presence as clear as day while we shared our first kiss. I just didn't want to ruin the moment." She smiles in regret, turning to look back at the door.
Hibari brings her clenched hand to her chest, her lovely face marred with concern. She makes for the door. "I've got to look for Yagyuu-chan, then!"
However, before she makes a run for it, Haruka quickly, gently, takes her hand.
"Hibari-chan, I think it would be best we leave Yagyuu-san alone for now. Her heart is aching too much right now. She's in a lot of stress."
"B-But, Haruka-san! Yagyuu-chan…"
Haruka shakes her head, wearing a gentle smile. Her emerald-green eyes gaze at Hibari with adoration and admiration.
"Please, dear. Trust me: just let her be," she whispers, wrapping her arms around the flower-eyed girl, soon feeling Hibari return the embrace. Haruka was right: Hibari knew Yagyuu better than anyone. She trusted her oldest friend. She felt torn, but Haruka had always been right before. This time would be no exception.
Asuka and the others nod in agreement as they look back at the door…
It is late into the dark, cold night. Yagyuu speeds her way through the city, rushing and leaping from roof to roof. The main building of Hanzo Academy is not even a shadow in the horizon.
Yagyuu lands soundlessly on the top of a skyscraper. The half-moon partially hidden by thick clouds, a light, cold breeze blows past; the ninja maiden's silver pigtails sway and flutter in the wind. Her shield umbrella rests on her shoulder, she holds it like the traditional Japanese women of old.
The thought of, the image of Hibari loving Haruka still haunts her. Why? She clutches her umbrella tightly. Why, Hibari? She had loved Hibari very much and yet, her beloved chose another. Yagyuu couldn't bear the fact that she saw it like that…looking on from a tree branch. Worst timing ever. As she sits by the security guardrail of the skyscraper's roof, she recalls what she saw. Yagyuu knows that Hibari loving somebody else was not the end of the world. She's too mature for that…yet the question still fills her mind: "What will I do now?"
Yagyuu was a maiden at heart, ninja or not.
"My, my! What is a Hanzo Academy good girl doing here, this late at night?" A familiar voice speaks from behind her. Yagyuu looks up to acknowledge the petite girl with dark hair and an eyepatch.
"I could say the same for you, Mirai."
"Hmph! That doesn't matter," the gothic Lolita grips her gun-umbrella tightly. "What matters is why you look so down in the dumps!"
Yagyuu doesn't say a word and turns away.
"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Mirai shrieks.
"It's none of your business," Yagyuu says stoically, almost nonchalantly. She starts to stand up and edge away from Mirai.
"Wait! Where are you going?!" Mirai yells, jumping to stand in front of her fellow eyepatch wearer. "I wasn't done talking to you!"
"I have some things…that I need to take care of," Yagyuu replies.
"Huh?"
With that, Yagyuu simply brushes past the petite girl. Not another word as Yagyuu simply walks off the edge of the building they stood on and leapt into into the night. Mirai stares at the glimmer of Yagyuu's silver hair as the clouds clear the half-moon.
Then, frustration takes over.
"Well fine! If you wish not to speak with me, so be it! I don't care!" Mirai cries, even though she knows Yagyuu is too far now. She plops down on her cute rear…as tears are starting to form in her eyes. Her voice is small as she mutters…
"I don't…care at all."
The next day, morning ninja training goes by with nothing but silence.
Yagyuu hasn't spoken a word since breakfast that morning. The girl had returned home really late the previous night, so clearly, there was nobody there to greet her when she came back.
The umbrella wielder was as focused as always, if not more focused than ever, on her training with the other girls. Even Kiriya-sensei was confused and concerned by Yagyuu's strange behavior.
As for Yagyuu herself, she actually knew what she had to do…and she was simply gathering the courage to form the words, even if just in her head until the moment of truth. While their senior are getting dressed after a post-training bath, Yagyuu and Hibari are the first to fully get dressed and the silver-haired girl pulls Hibari aside.
"What is it, Yagyuu-chan?" The pink haired girl asks, her cute voice thick with concern.
"I…Hibari, I want to talk about you and Haruka-san," Yagyuu replies. She swallows hard. "I'm…I'm very happy that you chose Haruka as your lover. And…you know I just want your happiness. Love is something to treasure and celebrate. I just want you to know…that I…" She bites her lip. Tears threaten to spill from her eye…but she rebels, holding them at bay. "I just…want to say…" And then, she gives Hibari the best smile she could muster. "I will still protect you if you need me, and I wish both of you the best."
With that, the silver-haired girl walks away, leaving Hibari with a torn look on her face. She holds a hand to her chest. The feeling is bittersweet.
"Yagyuu-chan…"
Yagyuu fast-walks to the nearest exit of the building.
Now, standing outside, Yagyuu stops and clenches her umbrella tightly, still rebelliously holding back her tears. She did not tell Hibari how she truly felt. Hibari did not deserve to be put on the spot in the event that Yagyuu told her sweet friend her real feelings.
Hibari was a good girl, a big girl. She could make her own decisions. That is why Yagyuu made her own decision…to not give Hibari any decision to make. Yagyuu only wanted Hibari to be happy. The one she loved is now in love with someone else and Yagyuu would not jeopardize that.
"There you are!" Mirai shouts as she points her finger at Yagyuu's back. "I've been looking for you!"
Yayuu continues to stare at the ground.
"I'm talking to you!" Mirai shouts again. "Don't ignore me!"
Yagyuu slowly turns around, her usual stoic expression remains. "What do you want?"
"I want you to explain to me why you were so down last night," the dark-haired girl demands. "Now, talk to me…or we'll settle this the hard way!"
Yagyuu turns away and intends to walk off. Mirai clenches her fists in anger and grits her teeth.
"Fine," she growls under her breath. "If that's how it's gonna be, then so be it." She raises her hand high. "SHINOBI KEKAI!"
At that moment, their surroundings dissolve into another dimension, but in a yellow color.
"What the devil…?" Yagyuu gasps. She swiftly looks back at Mirai. "Why did you do that?!"
"If you won't talk to me, then I'll just have to force it out of you!" Mirai. Her umbrella lets out the tale-tell sounds of bullets sliding into chambers.
"Why do you need to know?" Yagyuu takes out her own umbrella and waves it to open it. "That wouldn't solve anything, either way. Especially by fighting."
"Maybe so," Mirai says. "But I want to help you, Yagyuu! Please tell me!"
Yagyuu glances at the ground. "I…I can't."
"And why not?"
"It will only bring back a painful memory..."
Mirai clenches her umbrella, yet lifts it and holds her trembling finger over the trigger. "Painful you say? Well, if you think this is painful, then you're about to see the pain I'm feeling!" She fires, pinning the trigger down. Bullets fly from the tip of the umbrella, which Yagyuu dodges, leaping from cover to cover. "Don't run away from me, coward! Fight!"
"So be it." Yagyuu twirls her umbrella as she charges at Mirai, holding the weapon open.
The petite girl switches to higher-caliber bullets, bent on shooting Yagyuu's shield umbrella to pieces if she has to, but Yagyuu is too quick on her feet and successfully closes the gap between them. She swings her umbrella to knock Mirai's away and succeeds, sending the weapon away a good few yards and making the gothic Lolita fall to the ground on her butt with a terrified look in her eyes.
"Had enough yet?" Yagyuu challenges.
"Grr! I'm just getting started!" Mirai takes advantage of her petite size to slide right under Yaguu's legs and leap away, grasping the hilt of her umbrella in the process. However, just as Mirai gets back up from her combat roll to try and take aim at Yagyuu again, Yagyuu is already striking her with her own umbrella. Mirai blocks it in time and tries to return the favor.
"TAKE THAT!" She cries as she swings her umbrella at the silver-haired shinobi.
Yagyuu parries the attack and both of them leap into the air, taking the battle up there, parrying every attack one throws at the other as they begin to descend back to the ground. Once they touch down, they are panting hard. They are exhausted. They are too evenly matched.
"You want to know why I was so depressed yesterday…?" Yagyuu pants.
"Yes," Mirai says. "Tell me!"
"I'm…in love with Hibari."
Mirai's garnet eye widens and she gasps. "What?!"
"It's true. Ever since…ever since I first met her, before the entrance ceremony! She…she was like the spitting image of my late sister. And I…I've looked after her ever since. I'm her protector…I've always protected her. But…then, yesterday…I knew it, I was so sure…Hibari was about to confess her feelings, she looked like she was trying. I knew she was trying her best…but couldn't. And then…she ran off. I was desperate to know what happened, so I followed her. Sure enough, there she was: with Haruka-san. My love…was with…Haruka-san…"
Mirai looks at her sympathetically.
"I kept my feelings to myself, and I was tempted to confess…tell Hibari how I really feel about her…but now…I won't have a chance again. I lost Hibari," tears spill from her eye as she goes on. "I loved her…with all my heart and she's…happily in love with someone else and I-!"
The gun shot into the air echoes with the power of an anti-armor cannon. A startled Yagyuu looks at Mirai, whose head is down and her jet-black bangs hide her eyes. Her lips tremble.
"Do you…really think…saying that will make things better?"
"Huh?"
"Because it's not!" Mirai charges at her with the umbrella and swings wildly at her, but Yagyuu parries it just in time, knocking Mirai back a little. "I, too, have been experiencing pain, but it's not the same pain you're feeling!"
Yagyuu keeps on dodging every swing Mirai tries to land on her. The petite girl is not fighting with any grace or actual technique proper to her ninja skills. Not anymore. She's really angry and the savage, hard swings of her umbrella are a clear sign of that.
"I've been….very…lonely lately!" She continues, angrily swinging her umbrella left and right. "The same kind of loneliness that haunted me before I transferred to Hebijo Academy! Because…everyone has someone to love!"
Eventually, exhaustion kicks in, making Yagyuu trip over a random object on the ground and fall on her butt, yet still trying to clumsily block Mirai's enraged attacks with her umbrella.
CLANG!
"Everyone but me!"
CLANG!
"Haruka-sama, Homura-san, Yomi-san, even Hikage-san!"
CLANG!
"I'm lonely every day and no one even notices it!"
One swipe with her weaponized umbrella later, Mirai knocks Yagyuu's own weapon away at least a good ten feet away. The albino's umbrella twirls in the air and ends up imbedded, as if it were a sword in the nearest brick wall.
The silver haired shinobi panics. The next thing she sees when she tears her crimson gaze from where her weapon landed is the high-caliber barrel of Mirai's gun-umbrella.
In the back of her mind, the logical part of her reasons that Mirai will not pull the trigger…but even so, Yagyuu closes her eye, crossing her arms over her face to at least hope that a bone catches the incoming bullet in the event that…
Mirai's umbrella clatters harmlessly to the dirt at her feet just as the gothic Lolita falls to her knees and then, sits back on her behind, sobbing. Yagyuu's eye opens and her heart clenches painfully upon seeing this pitiful sight.
Immediately forgetting that she and the hidden-gunslinger ninja had just had an impromptu battle, Yagyuu wastes little-to-no time in rushing to the poor girl and wrapping her arms around Mirai's petite frame. The girl sobs her heart out, burying her cute face in Yagyuu's mantle.
"Da-darn it! Th-the truth is…*sniff*…darn it, I love you, Yagyuu!" Mirai sobs yet pulls her face away from her beloved's warm shoulder, tears still spilling from her visible garnet eye…and the one beneath her eyepatch. Yet, the girl tries to wipe away her tears with little success. "Yagyuu…I've loved you since the day were worked together to fight that bastard, Dougen…the day that Hebijo Academy fell…but really…I knew your heart was set on Hibari-san. I knew you loved her…I know you still do…" Mirai was blushing hard, and Yagyuu could feel her own cheeks become just as rosy as her fellow one-eyed friend, especially after that confession.
"Mirai…I…I don't know what to say…but, then why did you…?" Yagyuu tried to reply but Mirai only gave her a sad smile.
"You idiot…didn't I say it just now? You were totally in love with Hibari-san. You thought you were subtle and all…but nope. I know you. We fought against each other a lot. You learn a lot about a person when you fight them…you know that, yes?" The younger girl argued. She noticed the sorrowful understanding in Yagyuu's beautiful eye. "I wanted to tell you…but I knew that would only make things complicated...I didn't want to make your heart waver if there was the slightest chance..." The black-haired girl then looked away in shame and embarrassment. Yagyuu smiles, just ever so slightly as she gently cradles Mirai in her embrace, resting her chin on top of her head and rubbing her back soothingly. A few sniffles here and there escape Mirai as she lets Yagyuu caress, comfort her.
"Idiot…you're too selfless for your own good, Mirai…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that…" Yagyuu speaks soothingly, running her fingers through Mirai's rich, silky black tresses. "Mirai…listen. Please, look at me," she says and gently urges Mirai to look back up at her, look her in the eye. "I will let Hibari go. I may have the right to be selfish. I could go and tell Hibari how I feel about her…but even if she looks strong now, I don't want to risk her heart wavering between Haruka-san and I. So, I will just let Hibari go…and…"
Yagyuu's crimson gaze meets Mirai's garnet one…and realization, understanding, relief shines in their eyes.
"Mirai…I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if…this…will last. But you've proven that you deserve it. You deserve a chance. You really do. So…" Yagyuu then gently cupped Mirai's cute chin. Yagyuu began to lean in.
"Yagyuu…I…thank you. Thank you."
And so, their lips made contact: gentle, warm, soothing, soft.
That kiss was everything and so much more than Mirai ever imagined, ever dreamed, it would be.
However, that caress of their lips eventually ended, if not for the lack of oxygen. They were ninja, after all. Being able to hold one's breath came in the job description, anyway.
Still, the kiss the two had just shared…it contained Mirai's love and devotion, as well as a promise from Yagyuu.
The Ninja Barrier they fought in having now dissipated, the two young ninja maidens got back on their feet and headed back to the grounds of Hanzo Academy. They had friends there, friends that were probably worried sick. There were some explanations to be given…and also, Yagyuu entertained the thought of asking what exactly Mirai meant when she said that "everyone else had somebody to love"…but for now, the feeling of Mirai's hand in hers and their fingers intertwined…this was alright.
'We will make it work. Because it is not impossible to have a change of heart.'
A/N: First off, I would like to thank Mikey-kun for helping me with this, though most of it was his. But, nevertheless, I really wanted to write a Senran Kagura fanfic, so here it is. Feel free to give out any suggestions, questions or concerns and don't forget to review. ;)
