~*~*~*~*~*Rand's New Job*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~
Disclaimer: I doesn't own themses. I wishes I did. But Rand, and everyone else belongs to Robert Jordan, except for the weird people that you've never heard of. Those belong to me. MUA HA HA!!! NO TOUCHIE!!!!!!!!
~*~*~
One day, Mat Cauthon was sitting at the breakfast table in his robe and slippers, reading the morning paper. Tuon was fixing breakfast for him; pancakes, his favorite. He had a half-full glass of orange juice in his hand while he turned the page with the other to the Want Ads.
"WANTED: a new cow."
"Wanted: a barn for the new cow."
"Wanted: a farm for the barn for the cow."
"Wanted: a better life."
"Wanted: a new job."
"Wanted Dead or Alive: Moiraine Sedai."
"Wanted: ANY JOB!!!! ANY AT ALL!!!!!!!"
Mat checked the name on the last one. Rand al'Thor. He groaned. That lout of a Dragon Reborn expected to get a job that way?!
"More orange juice, Matrim, dear?" Tuon smiled sweetly. Mat noticed her checked apron for the first time.
"Sure, but since when have you called me Matrim? And what is that music? So happy together?! Huh?" Mat looked for the radio.
"Since I decided to audition for that Florida Orange Juice commercial where everything is all perfect and then it shows how it really is and Moiraine comes and blows up that poor kid."
"Oh, that one. At least Moiraine found a job. Rand here needs one. Desperately."
"Well, if you're such a great ta'veren friend, you should help him, right?"
"WHAT?!"
"Please? For me? I'll start calling you 'duckling' if you don't!"
"NO! NOT THAT! OKAY, I'LL DO IT!"
"That's my good gambling du- I mean, er...Mat."
"So, I'll just go clean up and try to help Rand, then?"
"Yes. Good bye, dear."
"Erm...goodbye then."
~*~
"Okay," the tall man began, "I am interested in working here. What a high- quality place you have! Everyone is friendly...service is wonderful...and it's just so...clean. I love places like this. You know, the ones that give you a fuzzy feeling inside, like when Min told me I looked good in red; it made my hair stand out, but then I just looked at her like a dummy, and she kind of seemed like she was waiting for me to kiss her or something, but I always get so nervous around girls. You know. But Mat has such a way with girls. I remember, when we lived at Emond's Field, he once went out with six girls! Six! All in one day! And then he found the gallon of ice cream, and he was so tired, he ate the whole gallon. Only, it's kind of hard on his stomach, and man! He had some pretty strong g-"
"AHEM!"
Rand looked around the interview room.
"Oh Mat! Eheh. When...when did....when did you come in? Eheh...." He looked at the third man uneasily, and his face turned as red as the coat Min liked so much.
"You bloody Dragon, how do you expect to get a job that way?! Come on, lets go. I got some good ideas already..." Mat dragged him out in mid-sentence, the man interviewing him looked rather relieved.
"Okay. That was just...I never ate a gallon of ice cream!"
"Yes you did! Remember, after Nynaeve overheard you telling me about how you listened in on her and Elayne's conversation and Elayne had practically screamed to everyone about how Lan-"
"Erm...yes, I remember. I REMEMBER! Okay. Yeah, mint chocolate chip. That stuff was good."
"I like Superman ice cream better."
"Superman is for babies."
"IS NOT! ITS ONLY FOR SUPERHEROES!"
"Okay, Rand. Nice. Now we are going to get you a job. What do you want to try? You never went to college, so you don't have a degree, but...wait....hey, can't you forge things with the One Power?"
"Well...I don't know how to do constructive things. I can only do destructive things."
Mat nodded, and dragged Rand to the coffee shop to talk things over.
~*~*~
Disclaimer: I doesn't own themses. I wishes I did. But Rand, and everyone else belongs to Robert Jordan, except for the weird people that you've never heard of. Those belong to me. MUA HA HA!!! NO TOUCHIE!!!!!!!!
~*~*~
One day, Mat Cauthon was sitting at the breakfast table in his robe and slippers, reading the morning paper. Tuon was fixing breakfast for him; pancakes, his favorite. He had a half-full glass of orange juice in his hand while he turned the page with the other to the Want Ads.
"WANTED: a new cow."
"Wanted: a barn for the new cow."
"Wanted: a farm for the barn for the cow."
"Wanted: a better life."
"Wanted: a new job."
"Wanted Dead or Alive: Moiraine Sedai."
"Wanted: ANY JOB!!!! ANY AT ALL!!!!!!!"
Mat checked the name on the last one. Rand al'Thor. He groaned. That lout of a Dragon Reborn expected to get a job that way?!
"More orange juice, Matrim, dear?" Tuon smiled sweetly. Mat noticed her checked apron for the first time.
"Sure, but since when have you called me Matrim? And what is that music? So happy together?! Huh?" Mat looked for the radio.
"Since I decided to audition for that Florida Orange Juice commercial where everything is all perfect and then it shows how it really is and Moiraine comes and blows up that poor kid."
"Oh, that one. At least Moiraine found a job. Rand here needs one. Desperately."
"Well, if you're such a great ta'veren friend, you should help him, right?"
"WHAT?!"
"Please? For me? I'll start calling you 'duckling' if you don't!"
"NO! NOT THAT! OKAY, I'LL DO IT!"
"That's my good gambling du- I mean, er...Mat."
"So, I'll just go clean up and try to help Rand, then?"
"Yes. Good bye, dear."
"Erm...goodbye then."
~*~
"Okay," the tall man began, "I am interested in working here. What a high- quality place you have! Everyone is friendly...service is wonderful...and it's just so...clean. I love places like this. You know, the ones that give you a fuzzy feeling inside, like when Min told me I looked good in red; it made my hair stand out, but then I just looked at her like a dummy, and she kind of seemed like she was waiting for me to kiss her or something, but I always get so nervous around girls. You know. But Mat has such a way with girls. I remember, when we lived at Emond's Field, he once went out with six girls! Six! All in one day! And then he found the gallon of ice cream, and he was so tired, he ate the whole gallon. Only, it's kind of hard on his stomach, and man! He had some pretty strong g-"
"AHEM!"
Rand looked around the interview room.
"Oh Mat! Eheh. When...when did....when did you come in? Eheh...." He looked at the third man uneasily, and his face turned as red as the coat Min liked so much.
"You bloody Dragon, how do you expect to get a job that way?! Come on, lets go. I got some good ideas already..." Mat dragged him out in mid-sentence, the man interviewing him looked rather relieved.
"Okay. That was just...I never ate a gallon of ice cream!"
"Yes you did! Remember, after Nynaeve overheard you telling me about how you listened in on her and Elayne's conversation and Elayne had practically screamed to everyone about how Lan-"
"Erm...yes, I remember. I REMEMBER! Okay. Yeah, mint chocolate chip. That stuff was good."
"I like Superman ice cream better."
"Superman is for babies."
"IS NOT! ITS ONLY FOR SUPERHEROES!"
"Okay, Rand. Nice. Now we are going to get you a job. What do you want to try? You never went to college, so you don't have a degree, but...wait....hey, can't you forge things with the One Power?"
"Well...I don't know how to do constructive things. I can only do destructive things."
Mat nodded, and dragged Rand to the coffee shop to talk things over.
