A/N: Hey friends! So this a one-shot with the potential to turn into a series of one-shots. I really enjoy exploring Alanna's character as mother in addition to warrior. Please leave a review of you've got the time, it really is appreciated. You're wonderful for reading even this far down the page.

Alanna was running around the exterior of Pirates Swoop. It wasn't her favorite form of exercise. In fact, she just about hated it in theory. Always the proverbial runt of the litter, Alanna had, since her page days, always felt that running showed just how much smaller than she was than her contemporaries. Sure, she was small and naturally nimble, but she couldn't keep up with her long legged friends.

After winning her shield, Alanna had abandoned the practice altogether. She left the cardio to repeated practice with her sword. Things changed after she had children. Her priorities were entirely different. She found her loyalty torn between a desire to serve the Crown and a desire to raise her children. That and the changes to her body threw her into a mental whirlwind. Her thoughts split into a hundred different directions and had trouble keeping herself on track.

Things reached a breaking point when she lashed out at Jonathan. He wanted to send her on a diplomatic trip back to Carthak for the duration of two months. Her youngest children, Aly and Alan, were four years old and she'd already been away from them for four months. She'd lost it on him.

"Why does everyone else get a chance to stay home with their families and I'm the one who's always here or always where you want me to be," she cried.

"Four months, Jon! Four months I've been away from them, stuck in Corus, playing politics and going to parties. Stuck here while somebody else gets to love them, raise them. Everyone else gets to come and go, but you want me to stay and parade around. What've I done to you Jon?" Once she started talking, she couldn't stem the flow of words. She sat down in her chair, her energy spent and preparing for the royal reprimand. She couldn't even look up at Jon, she just leaned forward in her seat, elbows resting on her legs, staring at her hands dangling between her knees.

She was surprised when she saw Jonathan take a knee in front of her. His calloused hands raised her chin up to look at him. Her tired violet eyes met his blue eyes. They reminded her of the ocean at Pirates Swoop. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Jon, I'm sorry, I'm just-" Jon wiped a tear from her cheek.

"No, hush. I'm sorry Alanna. I have been thinking and I haven't been fair. You're right, I've been keeping you here. It's selfish really. Sometimes I forget you have this wonderful life at Pirates Swoop that you must miss terribly. I forget you're not just my vassal, you're theirs too. I'll send someone else to Carthak. You go home. Stay awhile. I promise not to call unless it can't be helped. You've my word as your king...and your friend," he said with a smile. Alanna hugged him around the neck, holding on to her old friend.

"You've got to find a way to control your stress Alanna. I'm not angry. But if someone else were here, I'd be obligated to be more upset," he said gently. Alanna leaned back into her seat and nodded.

"I'll try Jon, I promise," she said.

After going home to Pirates Swoop that time, Alanna picked up running again. She'd tried training with the guards at the Swoop first, but it didn't work. It didn't calm her down, it just made her think more. So in came the running. At first it was slow going. Then, over time as she forced her body to move, she came to crave it. It became an integral part of her sanity. She slept more, kept her temper in better control.

It was early evening when she began her run. She'd left her children, Aly and Alan (now seven years old) with Maude, promising to return in an hour. She was about a half hour in when she noticed a small red headed figure dart away from the general keep towards the ocean.

Alanna veered from her usual path towards the water, slowing to a walk about ten feet behind her young daughter.

"Go away," said her seven year old. Despite her concern Alanna grinned. Aly was so much like George. The little girls Sight was already stronger than her father's and she had a sound knack for knowing when people were around her.

"And why should I do that little one?" asked Alanna, closing the distance and standing right next to Aly.

"Because I want to be alone," said Aly, her voice in a pout.

"I can't leave you alone. What if a sea monster came and gobbled you up?" exclaimed Alanna as she grabbed Aly, tickling her mercilessly. Aly couldn't help but giggle loudly and beg her mother to stop. Finally Alanna did, flopping down in the sand next to her seven year old. Aly scooted close, letting Alanna wrap an arm around her tiny waste.

"What happened Sweetling?" asked Alanna after awhile, the sound of waves crashing on the shore keeping them company.

"I got into a fight with Alan. There's a dog wandering around the Swoop. He's always dirty and hungry looking. I took some bread and cheese from the kitchens for him. Alan saw me feeding him and yelled at me," said Aly. Alanna could see the young girls lip trembling and hugged her close. Even so many years later, Alanna felt an ache for her twin.

"What did he say to you?" asked Alanna gently.

"He said that it was always wrong to steal, no matter what. He said there are other ways to help other creatures. But I helped the way I knew how!" exclaimed Aly, her temper flaring through her tears. Alanna smiled again. This part of her daughter was her fault, but she felt fiercely proud that Aly wouldn't let anyone walk over her. Her temper would get her in trouble but it would also keep her safe.

"What if you're both right?" asked Alanna nonchalantly, dragging her finger through some sand. Aly looked at her mother incredulously. Alanna burst out laughing, the seriousness of her girl beyond comical.

"It's not funny!" cried Aly, trying to scoot away. Alanna grabbed her and held her close.

"No, no it's not, you're right. Listen Aly: the world is a complicated place," started Alanna. Aly looked at her curiously.

"There's right and wrong. But then there's all this stuff in between," said Alanna. Aly looked confused.

"For example: killing. Right or wrong?" asked Alanna. You couldn't tell looking at her, but she was nervous. She knew she'd likely have this conversation with at least one of her children, but she felt a poor teacher on the subject of ethics and morality.

"Wrong," answered Aly automatically. Alanna smiled, relived her daughter was still so innocent.

"And what do I do for a living?" asked Alanna.

"You defend the Crown and Uncle Jon," replied Aly automatically again.

"Yes, but what do I sometimes have to do to defend it?"

"You...you have to kill people. But that's different!" defended Aly, angry again. Alanna hugged her again.

"Oh you sweet girl. The reasons might be good, but it's still killing," said Alanna. Aly grew quiet for a moment, pondering these things in her mind. Alanna waited. The tide was rising, licking her feet. The smell of salt and the sound of the waves calmed her. Internally, she found herself so grateful Jon had given George the Swoop. It was a place she could see herself growing old in.

"But sometimes you have to," whispered Aly after while.

"You're absolutely right. Sometimes it's me or them. If I don't kill then someone will kill me," agreed Alanna.

"And even then it's wrong?" asked Aly.

"It is. But here's the thing Aly. The world isn't perfect. It's made up of imperfect people. Sometimes we have to do things that are wrong or bad in nature for the greatest good. It doesn't make those actions right. Just acceptable. Do you understand?" said Alanna. Images of orange fire flashed in her minds eye and suppressed a shudder. Aly nodded.

"Stealing is always bad... But if of not stealing is worse than stealing...then it's okay?" answered Aly. Alanna smiled.

"In general yes. Just remember that doing the bad thing should always be your last result," said Alanna. Before Aly could respond, Alanna stood and scooped her daughter up over her shoulder. Aly giggled with glee despite the fact she was already almost too big to be carried this way by her tiny mother.

"Let's go find the dog. Sound good?" asked Alanna. Aly just giggled again as Alanna walked back to the keep.

A/N: Thanks for reading!